A Photo Essay on Cincy's Baseball Mascots

Current Mood: Santa

Let's go ahead and get this out of the way. I get a big kick out of good SportsCenter commercials (e.g. most of them), I really like the Cincinnati Reds, and I *love* Mr. Redlegs and his crazy laudanum eyes.



and for the record - in the era I grew up in, Mr. Redlegs looked like this:



but I recognize the one true original Mr. Redlegs



and know in my heart of hearts he's destined to forever be with Rosie Redlegs



just like Mickey and Minnie Mouse were made for each other.



Gapper? He can get the hell out of my city.

some animal humor!

Current Mood: restless


dunno why a turtle snacking on a cheerio is funny or adorable to me, but it is

also:

Pandigator!

Lovin' Touchin' Watchin'

Current Mood: faithful

Do you like classic rock? Do you like student films? Do you have about 22 minutes to waste away?

Do you have any interest in watching a guy that kinda looks like Stu portraying Steve Perry, former lead singer of Journey, saving a fun loving couple from a trio of dead rock and roll drummer zombies, before facing off in an epic kung-fu showdown against the lead singer frontman evil genius mastermind Freddie Mercury, whose plan is to use the music of the band The Darkness to open a portal through which he can rule heaven and hell on a throne of rock and roll?!

animal magnetism

Current Mood: full

Quick! What is the most terrifying animal you can think of?

I suppose it's no big secret that I have a strong dislike of owls. Still, I know that's a personal thing, so I don't expect everybody to understand why I find them so frightening. I mean, you've got the whole silent flight thing, the giant glowing eyes, the rotating head bit, the horrifying screech as it swoops from the sky, but yeah, I guess there's some beauty or somesuch in there.

No, I'm here to discuss an even greater predator, one who I would argue is much more dangerous. More dangerous, and quite frankly, must be stopped before it's too late.

Sure, technically it's a "dolphin", and you may have seen them at your local themed waterpark performing some stupid pet tricks, but the Orcinus orca, better known a killer whale is working on becoming the most dangerous predator on the planet. Here's why:

1. They are built to destroy.
Look at this fucking thing. It's a living torpedo of death. They grow about 27 feet long, and weigh over six tons. That's six tons of muscle and teeth and just enough fat to insulate them from the frigid waters they prowl. They can swim 30 miles an hour and dive to 100 feet. Want to know how you'd stack up? An olympic swimmer can go 5 miles an hour and a champion diver about 55 feet, unaided. Also, orcas have no extraneous body parts. There is nothing on their bodies that serves any purpose other than survival. They eat an average of 500 pounds of food every day (and I mean real food, not strained krill).

2. They hunt in packs.
A killer whale by itself is an engine of destruction. Now imagine facing a pod of them, which could mean on average, six to forty of them. Sure, there are creatures in the ocean that could take on one orca and have a fighting chance (but not many). Forty? You're pretty much screwed.

3. They are everywhere.
Orcas swim wherever the hell they want, when they want to. Despite decades of "tracking" and "tagging" orcas, scientists really don't have any damn clue how they migrate because orcas know better than to be so predictable.

Think I'm kidding?

4. They're fucking smart.
The oldest known orca lived to be at least 89 years old, which means they've got a generous lifetime to learn some how to become better predators. We already know they're smart enough to learn complex song and dance routines. We also know dolphins can pass the mirror test - the first non primates to do so. Still, this pales in comparison to their hunting techniques:

* Orcas have been known to vomit onto ice flows to attract gulls. Once the birds land to check it out, the orca waiting nearby pops up and eats it. Captive orcas have shared this behavior by showing the other whales how to do it.

* Groups of orcas release coordinated bursts of bubbles from their blowholes to form a "cage" to trap fish, and then "slap" the water with their fins to stun the fish with water shockwaves. This is known as carousel feeding, and they take turns.

* Sometimes, orcas will attack sharks. Once they kill them, the often eat the nutrient-rich liver first, a Mortal-Kombat inspired finish. They know where the most valuable parts are, and they aren't afraid to get them.

* They've been known to take on blue whales - a creature about 120 feet long and 200 tons. That's a target roughly 4x as long and 33x bigger. Humans are fair game as well.

* They aren't afraid to resort to cannibalism, if they have to.

* When hunting larger prey, like seals, orcas are known to head-butt, tail slap, ram, or even breach (partially leap out of the water) and land on the things. Can you imagine the sight of a 30 foot whale leaping out of the water trying to body slam you? They've also been observed in pairs tossing baby seals in the air to each other before eating.

* You aren't safe on land, as mother orcas have been seen pushing their young onto the beach to grab prey, and pulling them back into the water by their tails if they stray too far.

*



If after all of that, you still aren't convinced, do me a favor. Imagine yourself underwater, in a diving suit. The water around you is so cold, it's possible you could die of hypothermia before you drowned. It's so deep and murky that you can barely see your hand in front of you. Now plug some headphones into your computer, turn up the volume, and close your eyes as you listen to the sounds of your approaching doom.

Fortunately for us, orcas are confined to the seas...for now. We've established they're physically superior in every way, have strength of numbers, and may even be smarter than we give them credit for. Still, that's no reason for us to get complacent. These are the ultimate apex predators of the sea, and if we're not careful, of the earth. I suggest we take a proactive approach and observe them, to make sure they never, ever get opposable thumbs.

paper towel oculardystrophy

Current Mood: awaaaake



I found this to be particularly humorous.


Also, THIS JUST IN -

Led Zeppelin: still awesome. Probably better than most bands ever will be.

For some other perspective, think of this:

I consider Led Zeppelin to be the greatest rock band, ever. They broke up in 1980 (6 years before I was born) because of the death of their drummer (John Bonham). The tribute concert they played at featured drums played by his son, Jason Bonham. Jason is 41 years old. That's a year older than my father.

substitute

Current Mood: frustrated

NFL.com is being incredibly slow today, so I'm going to hold off on writing a bunch about football until I can watch all my highlight videos (32 teams - 4 teams on bye / 2 teams per matchup = 14 videos x 3 min. avg length = 42 minutes of video action). Lucky you.

Instead, here's a quick update on NaNoWriMo. As of this morning, the participants have written a total of 170,746,440 words since the start of the month, for really no other reason than a love of writing (assuming there's nobody writing to win a bet or something). I just find it fascinating to check the word count, since nobody is forcing anybody do this. It's as if thousands of people the world over decided to start Skipping-It and logging their cumulative skips. Yours truly has contributed (again, as of this morning) 6,195 words, or 0.003%. I'm a little behind, about 3k below the pace to finish on the last day or halfway to finishing 5 days early (the 2k a day average). It's pretty tough to write so much each day, but I've finally gotten past the slow setup part of the plot, so hopefully the action part will flow much easier. Writing in third person about myself is screwing with my head.

Good thing I love my current phone, because the Samsung Juke makes a pretty convincing argument to be bought.

My hair is really starting to bother me, because it's no longer curly and fro-y. It's gotten much longer and is starting to lay out. I'm not really crazy about it, so I may cut it. It will also be a great reason to bust out my favorite hat ever. That also reminds me to backtrack a bit...

Two weeks ago on Friday (October 26th) I had the pleasure of seeing the Dalai Lama speak here at Purdue. It was a...unique experience to say the least. Renee had procured the tickets the day they were available, and my sister drove my brother up here for the weekend since mom couldn't make it. We got there almost two hours early for security because some people aren't exactly crazy about the guy. While we waited, we spotted a local Purdue celebrity - former Purdue present Martin C. Jischke (Bradley ran over and shook his hand). The opening act (mongolian chanting) was a bit of cultural learning that made me feel sliiightly uncomfortable. The Dalai Lama was a bit hard to hear and understand, but he seemed very at ease, very informal, and at times unintentionally funny. The theme of his speech was "cultivating happiness", but for the most part I felt he spoke about rather vague concepts and rambled about being a good person. A notable topic, to be sure, but I didn't need to spend a lot of money to hear it from him (more like "Dalai Lame-a"). At the end he elected not to tackle very complex issues in the Q and A session such as the US involement in the Iraq war, instead informing us all that his favorite color was green. In retrospect, perhaps this was social commentary.

More than seeing world leaders speak, I was most excited to see my siblings. Things haven't been great between us lately, and I put a lot of that blame on my shoulders. I decided to tackle that head on and try to make sure they had an outstanding weekend here. I made them lunch Friday and breakfast the next day, and they stayed at my apartment which helped cut down on travel costs. They also joined me for our Annual Ship of Fools Halloween Extravaganza. Sis helped me with my costume (notably taming my hair). I went as an emo kid, and I it went really well. So well, in fact, that Current Roommate Alex didn't recognize me, as did others at improv. The response on Facebook has made me really happy - I wanted to shake things up and do something people didn't expect, and I think it worked quite well. There were several awesome costumes (Jenny went as Jessica Rabbit...she's not bad, she just dressed that way!).

The afterparty @ Peace's house went splendidly, even though we all left kinda early. Several former Fools made it to the party, and the fans seemed to enjoy it as well. Huzzah! The next morning, before Brad and sis left, we toured the new Neil Armstrong Hall of Engineering and more of Purdue's campus. I should have classes in there in the spring, if things go as planned. Photos of the party here, photos of the party and time at Armstrong here.

As if that weekend wasn't amazing enough, Sunday was my 2 year anniversary with Jenny. We celebrated by going to see the hosts of Mythbusters (Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman) speak at Elliot Hall of Music (Purdue's College of Science celebrates 100 years). It was very informal and entertaining, funny and candid. Benji and Corrie, also staying with us for the weekend, joined us and participated in the Q&A. My favorite parts were when they spoke about buying magnets. Afterwards was a dinner with some of the Fools.

And speaking of improv, we've been very busy this fall with a number of community service shows and activities, which makes me very proud of the group. Blood donations, food drives, and now recently a benefit show [with the Crazy Monkeys] for Habitat For Humanity and the Timmy Foundation raised over $500. 00 dollars. The group is learning to incorporate change and new members, becoming a bigger part of the Purdue community, and casting away old rivalries. Quite impressive.

That's all for now. Why aren't busy I writing fiction?

fairly recent routine

Current Mood: improving

You should all know by now that I write about football around midweek. I do so because Saturday is college gameday, Sunday is NFL, and then there's usually MNF to wait for as well. I also like to read power rankings, finish up my fantasy team business, and study the reviews of the last week - and previews of this upcoming week's games. That said, here we go:

Purdue improved to 7-2 (all) and 3-2 (Big Ten) with a victory over Northwestern, 35-17. The offense-touted Wildcats made things close at times, but we managed to finish things off and secure a major bowl bid, and we're tied for 2nd in the Big Ten. Unfortunately, it seems that Purdue is perpetually unable to beat *good* teams, and reach the upper tier of the conference, at times skirting the BCS top 25 but unable to hold on to any sort of ranking. Next up: a tough road game at "Happy Valley" Penn State Nittany Lions (6-3 all, 3-3 conf.)

Other NCAAF thoughts: Indiana might actually give us a run for our money this year. Also, I think I may have to watch the annual OSU/Michigan game with Future Roommate Greg, even though he has no faith in his Wolverines.


This is simply amazing.

In the NFL, the Cowboys (6-1) had a bye week but the big news is that my boy Tony Romo signed a huge contract to be the Dallas franchise QB until 2013, worth $67.5 million. I could not have been happier with how that went. They play division rivals the Eagles (3-4) this week.

Patriots rolled over the Redskins (#5 ranked defense my ass). People have accused the Patriots of being stupid (keeping Brady in well into the 4th quarter, risking an injury) and running up the score. I have mixed feelings. For example, I want somebody to head block his knee and take him out, but I also think it's unsportsmanlike. One commentator suggested such tactics in his article "I'd Hit Brady Late". File that under "one of the gayest things I've heard this week". I also agree that if a team keeps scoring on you, it's not their job to let up - you should suck less. The Patriots had a sizeable lead and they went for it on 4th down late in the game, instead of kicking a FG, but I'm a big supporter of going for it on 4th down in general. Similarly, my love of trick plays knows no team loyalty, so when Brady faked a QB kneel and instead tossed it to the end zone, I was happy.

In the end, I suppose the consolation prize of their victory is a matchup this weekend between 8-0 Patriots and 7-0 Colts, the first meeting of lossless teams this far into the season. Everybody is going nuts over this game, and for once I will concede a bit of hype - we're well into the season and even though the Patriots have rolled over fluff teams from the basement of the NFL, the Colts have played with grit without one of their star receivers (Marvin Harrison - knee). One of the ESPN analysts on MNF thought it was particularly telling that the Colts - defending Super Bowl champs, undefeated and AT HOME are 5 point underdogs. Crazy. I've stated before that even though I've been in Indiana for about 3 years now, the Colts are not my team. I respect them, I think they're classy (especially coach Tony Dungy), and they are undeniably good. However I'm not a bandwagon fan, I'm not from around here at all, and I knew next to nothing about football right when they started getting good, so I resist rooting for them out of respect for the game. That, and QB Peyton Manning is a sellout/robot (admittedly, I begrudgingly respect his earning power, and this was pretty damn funny).

THAT SAID, I hope the Colts fuck up the Patriot's little party in an exciting, hard-hitting high-scoring game. I don't want a blowout, just high-caliber football with a Colts win (while I'm at it, I also hope Indianapolis loses later in the season and the Bengals make the playoffs, but one game at a time, right?).

The New Orleans Saints (3-4) seem to have a knack for shooting themselves in the foot and starting the season several games behind, before making a strong showing and giving glimpses of hope (Drew Brees with 4 TDs, weekly passing leader!). Will their 3 game win streak (including last week's win 31-10 over the 49ers) continue? I hope so, but I don't think they'll make the playoffs. Few things are better than a good underdog story. One of them would be playing well at the start of next year. They play the Jags (5-2) this week, which I think will be a good measure of how far they will go.

Tangentially related to the Saints (+ Hurricane Katrina), many credit the Chargers's 35-10 win over the Texans to a sense of community bonding over the California wildfires. I think the two disasters are surprising in that this sort of weather/natural phenomena happens regularly in those areas and people are pretty blind, but that's a topic for another time. Situationally, I think the two events are different, and the Chargers win may have had more to do with a little guy named LaDainian Tomlinson. You may have heard of him, he was last year's MVP (early season lack of production notwithstanding).

Adrian Peterson is amazing. I will add him with Devin Hester to my list of players I like, but don't care about their team.

At first I was sad about not seeing the Giants beat the Dolphins 13-10 in Wembley Stadium, London. Then I saw the highlights, and noticed it was a boring game far away between crappy teams that nobody really enjoyed. Cool. Let's hope next overseas trip goes better, NFL?

Ack! Bengals lost big time to the Steelers 24-13. Not a big surprise, but being further away from home means I see less games, and it's easier to swallow a loss I don't spend 3+ hours watching. Apparently there was a big controversy over a fourth down call that came from coach Marvin Lewis (remember my earlier comment about going for it on 4th down) that could've cost the Bengals the game. The AFC North lead gets further away each week, though if the Ravens beat the Steelers on MNF this week, that could help by pitting the other massive juggernauts of my division against each other while the Bengals try to find some way to get their shit together and claw their way back to even .500. We're now 2-5, facing the Bills (3-4) this week.

I wish I could tell you a lot about Green Bay's 19-13 win over the Broncos on Monday Night Football, but I kinda slept through most of it accidentally. The highlights were pretty sweet, though, and Brett Favre continues to impress me. Apparently he's played over 30 MNF games, and is 2nd in just about every record there (trailing only Dan Marino, I believe). I hope he has many more MNF games left, since he's got the big-play arm and vision. Captain Comeback led the Packers to 6-1 (tied for the NFC best record with none other than the Cowboys) in a great overtime victory, with an 82 yard score by WR Greg Jennings - snapping a 6 game losing streak in Denver. Was not happy with some GB penalties, but special mention goes to Aaron Kampman for some great sackitude (sackitude?). Let's hope the Packers running game (if you want to call it that) can continue to grow against 4-3 KC Chiefs this week (if not, eh, let Brett Favre throw it s'more).

Here's a photo gallery of short NFL players. It makes me happy.

Another fantasy win this week, this time over 2nd place Cooper. This puts me back at .500, and I should win again this week (unless something crazy happens). That said, I don't know if I can realistically climb to the top, given current player distribution and win/loss records. Bill Vedra has Tom Brady, and he is very difficult to beat. Here's hoping not playing Eagles QB McNabb doesn't bite me in the ass AGAIN. He should not be as good against the Cowboys when compared to Hasselbeck vs. the Browns.


Lastly, I'm going to predict here (for nobody in particular) who I think will reach the playoffs, even take a stab at the Super Bowl. I should've done this earlier for a greater effect - I hereby admit that my mid-season knowledge makes this less impressive. I'm...I'm not entirely sure how this works? Note to self: learn playoffs system this year.

AFC East - Patriots (*sigh*)
AFC North - Steelers (*sigh*)
AFC South - Colts
AFC West - Chargers
Wild Cards - Browns (whaat?), Titans

NFC East - Cowboys (yeah!)
NFC North - Packers (yeah!)
NFC South - Buccaneers
NFC West - Seahawks
Wild Cards - Panthers, uh...Giants?

AFC Championship - Patriots vs. Colts
NFC Championship - Cowboys vs. Packers

Super Bowl - Cowboys over Colts, 24-21


What do you guys think? Did I do it right? Am I smoking something? Given the current records, remaining schedules, and probably some favorite-team bias, that's what I think will go down.



Ryan's blog: becoming an amateur sportswriter's column, one week at a time. Well, just football really.

Folk Hero

Current Mood: impressed

TWO weeks of (almost entirely) football stuff!

Last week:

Oh wow I was so close to starting this with a string of cuss words, you have no idea.

First, the Bengals got manhandled by the Patriots. Yeah, whatever, I already wrote about how I wasn't exactly surprised by it.

Then, this weekend, the game I was totally pumped for - the Purdue/OSU game - was a bust. Okay, I went and had a great time, had pretty good seats with Future Roommates Greg and Chad, and even ended up sitting in front of fellow OSU fan Jamie. But our much touted #1-in-the-Big-Ten offense, averaging 40+ points per game, QB with about 16 TDs and only a few picks, outscoring opponents in the first half something like 100-3, 5-0 with consecutive 300+ yards of offense games - DIDN'T FUCKING SHOW UP against OSU. Now, like the Patriots in the MNF game, OSU really was favored to win. They were ranked in the top 5, we'd just barely sneaked into the top 25 at 23. It wasn't a shock or anything, and I wasn't really upset that we lost (I still want OSU to do well), but we didn't score anything - none points - until the last few minutes of the game against their second string. It was retarded. Our defense was actually trying to keep us in the game (wtf?) but kept coming up with turnovers in their redzone...not exactly the best field position, especially when Painter looked to only have about 30 yards per drive in him. The punting - a school record 12 times - was abysmal. Looked like we had some sort of punting palsy. I always feel like blaming the officials is such a "losers" comment, but there were a few calls I didn't care for. Even the halftime show was disappointing because they played to the wrong side of the field! At least our student section looked decent. Pretty much everybody wore black. Instead of being a Debbie Downer about OSU, I will really hope we beat Michigan this week because I hate them. Not only would they lose, we'd get back to the Ws (and be bowl eligible). A win-win, or "doublewin", if you will.

So I put away my fan towel and Boiler helmet and prepared for the Packers to roll over the injury ridden Bears on Sunday night. Not so. After a stunning first half (Brett had a QB rating over 130, over 150 yards of offense, a Green Bay running game that came from NOWHERE - 64 yards opening drive when the season average/game was about 50), the Packers gave up a 10 point lead slowly in the back half, like a dying animal. I mean, they were hemorrhaging plays and Brett ended up getting the all time interceptions record.

I went into this week's Monday Night Football hoping that 1 of 4 games would be a win, and that my boy Tony Romo wouldn't disappoint. The Cowboys were 4-0, were favored by everybody to stomp on the Bills, and the Cowboys D were giving up less points each week. Hell, Romo had 300+ yards in every game and only thrown 3 interceptions.

Yet, surprisingly, the Bills were nothing if not tenacious. After waiting 13 years to be on MNF, they were at the very least keeping pace with the Cowboys, at times looking like the stronger team. Romo was intercepted twice on his first two pass attempts. He would later fumble, and then be picked off Three. More. Times. The only reason I skipped the cussing at the onset of this post was because of two things:

1. Excellent (and I do mean excellent) play calling, coaching, clock management on the part of the Cowboys coaches in the last few minutes of the game

2. Mostly because of their kicker Nick Folk, who made not one but two career-length field goals in literally the last few seconds of the game.

Considering what a by-the-book blowout this was supposed to be, it was a strangely entertaining and exciting football game for Monday night, and I'm really happy Dallas came away with the win, despite Tony Romo's 5 attempts to be Brett Favre. This would set us up for an excellent matchup of the undefeated Patriots vs. the (barely) undefeated Cowboys the next week on Sunday.

Drew Brees...c'mon buddy. Give Purdue something to be proud of!

The last minute heroics even kept me from being upset over my fantasy football loss to Jenny by less than 3 points, leaving me tied for 4th with her at 2-3.

Oh, and the Yankees were forced out of the playoffs (by the Indians, for the record, but it could've been by the country of Poland, for all I care). Awesome.

This week:

Purdue lost to Michigan 48-21 in what is nicely called a blowout. Can't say I'm surprised (sounding like a trend yet?), but I'm wondering what I can do to fix this feeling. Like, can Purdue have a shitty season opener and then surprise everybody by winning their last 8 games? I'm sick of "settling" for bowl games. Yeah, 8 bowls in 9 years is nice, but I'm sick of being consistently below the top tier Big Ten teams like OSU, Michigan, Wisconsin. Fuck, even our Bucket game vs. IU is no longer looking safe. Eh, at least maybe this "crazy year of college football" (crazy in that the BCS keeps changing, and top teams keep falling in upsets) means we have a chance - heads down, work hard, and let the chips fall where they will. For my money, I still contend that Appalachian State's victory over Michigan was a greater upset than Stanford over (then) #2 USC because Stanford is at least in the same division, even if they are considered perennial floor mats in their conference (I don't care about your 40 point difference). Besides, even if Michigan lost to Oregon the week after Ap. St., they certainly turned their shit around, much to Purdue's dismay.

It feels odd that college football is about half over. And the NFL?

Bengals lost again 27-20 to the lower-middle-class Kansas City Chiefs. I try not to really put much stock in historical trends, but the Bengals have apparently been pretty good off the bye week - not that it made any fucking difference this year. T.J. had a great game (good for my fantasy team), but Carson Palmer has been intercepted twice each of his past four games. We have other receivers, but the QB needs to get it done. That, and our entire defense.

Green Bay had a slugfest with "that other indian team" (Jenny and I kept confusing the Chiefs who played the Bengals with the Redskins who went up against the Pack), coming away with a 17-14 win. Favre is officially the NFL's most intercepted QB, but that happens when you play forever, moreso as a gutsy gunslinger which I truly think he is. Key play was Woodson's interception for a TD.

THE SAINTS FINALLY WON over the Seattle Seahawks, 28-17 on Sunday night. That is such an important event that it gets an entire sentence hyperlinked. Reggie Bush was dynamite (again, yay fantasy football) and Brees showed everbody what Purdue does...well, not "best", but "acceptably", and it's about damn time, too. Seahawks didn't play so hot to be sure, but the Saints are no longer winless (something the poor Dolphins won't change against the Patriots next week - owww).

The only other game I cared to watch this weekend was the Clash of the Unbeatens - Patriots vs. Cowboys. Now, it should definitely be noted that Tony Romo was awesome and threw for only one interception, but it wasn't enough to win. Cowboys lost to who are quickly becoming the Yankees of the NFL, the Patriots, 48-27. Not much to say here...Cowboys led for a bit in the third, but Tom Brady is breaking records like "6 consecutive games with at least 3 TDs" and other stuff like that. All the Patriots at the post-press-conference act all humble and act like they have not played well, but it's pretty hard to believe them. Now I place my best hopes that they'll be defeated by things like injuries, the other two thirds of the season, and the Indianapolis Colts in a few weeks.

Wrapping things up, I think I'm starting to get the hang of this fantasy football thing. I don't want to be accused of hubris (especially against a league half filled with people who aren't really paying much attention to their teams), but I had a decisive victory this week. It was 123.6 to about 43 vs. the Zombies - I say "about" because the only player on either team playing is Eli Manning, still gaining a few meager points as he wraps up a win against the Falcons as I type on Monday Night Football. Unless Manning somehow breaks football as we know it and scores 80 fantasy points in the next 10 minutes, I've got this one wrapped up ("you gotta lock that down"). I'm now tied for 2nd place at .500 (I'm so excited to be so...mediocre? I guess .500 is bigger in football than, say, on a test), and we're about halfway through the regular fantasy season. I'm already excited for next year's draft!

Finally, as a special treat anybody who has read this far, or had the presence of mind to skip to the end for the summary, please watch this video around 1:25.

alternate income

Current Mood: awe

The following is a very R-rated trailer for the upcoming film John Rambo (set to release in January). It looks like the "Batman Begins" of the Rambo series. Awesome.



As the guys at Cracked.com put it, I love the part "where Rambo starts decapitating people and turning entire human bodies into hamburger meat".

Tunaflix

Current Mood: completely straight



Benji, do you want Turk or J.D.?

two truths and a lie

Current Mood: unsure

If you're sick of reading about football here, seek another blog, because that's what I'm into right now.

Bengals, I am upset at you. The Browns were terrible 1st week. Carson Palmer, step it up.
I'm somewhat upset with Notre Dame. Sort of. Hell, I don't know what to feel anymore.

Also, my new favorite college football player.

Now, onto the main course:

I'm trying really hard not to be upset with myself over fantasy football for two big reasons.

1) Apparently, I suck at it.

I read up on strategies, I researched my draft picks, and I was 1 of the two people that showed up to the draft (the other was Jenny). Then, each week I studied my players and opponents, carefully selecting the optimal players for my team that week. Result?

Week 1: lost to the Zombies, 103.1 to 65.3
Week 2: lost to Bill Vedra's Banana Phones, 126.7 to 59.9 points

Now, we've still got like, 14 weeks. And I hate to think that two bad weeks means I should trade away all my players and start anew, but still. Jenny's kinda in the same boat. We both are losing terribly to auto-draft picks without lineup changes. Alex said that we've fallen victim to "the Girly Syndrome", a similar setup in March Madness where amateur college ball analysts (read: fans) lose to [typically] girls who pick teams by jersey color or mascot cuteness.

2) I hate what I've become.

Whatever I've learned about football from playing fantasy football can't be worth my changed attitude towards the game. Before, I was normal. I rooted for my favorite teams, and cheered harder at a well placed block or an exciting play. I might even trash talk a bit about a rivaled team. Still, it was all in good fun and I never genuinely wanted bad things to happen.

Now?

Now I trawl the Fox Fantasy pages looking for injured players like Gollum's precious, eagerly hoping that my opponent's players will take a career-ending injury during their games. I'm actually cheering for a dude to take a hit, and for what? So that I can shave a few points off my opponent's team score? Have I sunken so low?

I mean, before, things were simple. Let's say I was rooting for the Saints to beat the Colts. In the past, I'd cheer for Drew Brees and his team to do well, and might even commend a nicely executed play on the other side of the ball. Now, with fantasy players, my loyalties aren't so well defined. Now it's entirely possible to want the Saints to win, but my fantasy players on the Colts to have a great game. It's almost like wanting to fix the game, where both sides score a ton - particularly my fantasy players, but I still get the satisfaction of my favorite teams playing.

Right now I feel a little like this guy (towards the end of the video):

dearth Vader

Current Mood: groggy

OotS on hiatus until September 17th? Damnit!

Also: why the fuck am I just now learning about this? WANT.

I'm kinda video crazy lately, but hot dog, Phil Plait! Paul, jump on this shit.

quarbolous

Current Mood: you are just in time for moviestime

Here's a little tip.

If you watch a foreign film, and the first five minutes seem confusing, one of two things is probably happening:

1) It's a foreign film. Subtitles and SparkNotes help, but you're out of your element here, so just hang on, watch carefully, and try to watch body language and facial expressions to catch what's going on. Cut yourself some slack!

2) You're a dumbass. You put the DVD in upside-down and are watching side 2, which is why the action started without warning, there was no title screen or credits, and you don't know who any of the characters are.

On a related note, I recently watched Das Boot (recommended to me by several people). I'm trying to use my Netflix subscription to watch some classic movies as part of my LoTtdBID. I thought it was a really good (if lengthy) film and recommend it, especially if you like war films, specifically submarine films.



Additionally, Bradley shared a video with me the other day that I found fairly offensive, but also hilarious. Alex told me it was flat out "the worst thing he'd ever seen in his entire life". Curious?

the charm

Current Mood: accomplished

The last legitimate full price CD from a store that I remember buying was Bad For Good: The Best of the Scorpions, which was in 2002, I think. Since then, I've added to my music through the now defunct allofmp3, which was a Russian-based online music store similar to iTunes except that songs cost pennies, not dollars. This (apparently) legally gray area service allowed me to feel good about not illegally downloading, and also avoid what I feel to be outrageous store music prices. The site has since been closed due to various financial, legal, and licensing problems.

During this time, I avoided a huge digital ordeal at Purdue. A crappy short lived music service (Cdigix) was provided to Purdue students free of charge in a pathetic attempt to curb illegal downloading. Problems included: laughable selection, frequent maintenance and technical problems, temporary storage of songs, and non-transferable file rights. In short, terrible competition for free file sharing, evidence of which can be found here.

So, for the first time in quite a while, I find myself contemplating purchasing a legitimate album from a store. Unfortunately, most of my favorite artists/bands are dead or broken up. I haven't liked more than a handful of bands of the last couple of decades, so I've resigned myself to missing out on the joy of an album release of my favorite band. Those still touring or making music are usually former shells of their once glorious and decadent selves, now embarassing TV personalities, shameless sellouts or drugged out skeletons still performing (sometimes all three). Thus, I've compiled a short list of potential albums I'm watching with considerable apprehension, with some notes:


Humanity - Hour 1 by Scorpions
August 28th, 2007
Scorpions rock, straight up. I've heard the new single "Humanity" from H-H1, however, and while the rock is good, I'm not crazy about the lyrics. Here's hoping Germany's greatest export will not disappoint.



Avenged Sevenfold by Avenged Sevenfold
October 30th, 2007
Only a band like A7X could release an album specifically on Halloween without it seeming cheesy. As long as they keep their hard rock sound and harmony vocals, instead of reverting back to cookie monster vocals or falling into emo territory, this should actually be a pretty bad ass album.

TBA by AC/DC
January 2008
I thought the last good AC/DC album was Razors Edge, back in 1990. Haven't heard much about this new album, though.

Untitled Album by Queen + Paul Rodgers
late 2007-mid 2008
I'll admit I still haven't really gotten used to Q+PR. Yes, I love Bad Company, but Freddie cannot be replaced, John quietly bowed out, and now there's all sorts of weird shit going on like the We Will Rock You Musical. Yes, a few tours of Europe performing Queen and Bad Co.'s hits was interesting, but now there's a studio album coming out of this?! Please, guys. Don't fuck with me here.

Nostradamus by Judas Priest
early 2008
Judas Priest released Angel of Retribution in 2005 and I loved it. It's one of my favorite JP albums, to be honest. Beyond that, you're talking about the once-forefront band of the NWOBHM making a concept album about Nostradamus. If there was ever a band to tackle that subject, it would be them. I love concept albums (I'm looking at you, The Who), and this one might be a double album?

tousled

Current Mood: uneasy
Current Music: "Tease Me Please Me" by Scorpions

This is nature at its most epic.




Also, after all this time, I'm roughly 1/3 through my music project. So. Many. mp3s.

I recently tried to play KOTOR, at the insistence of John and Andrew, but it crashed my computer over a dozen times, so I gave up. I'm not big on RPGs anyway.

Classes start tomorrow, and I'm really bummed.

stave it off

Current Mood: waiting
Current Music: "Revolution" by Judas Priest

Hey! Check out this new webcomic I found/love called Rabbit And Mouse.

Also, Bradley sent me an AWESOME video that I love (below). Comedian Rick Miller performs Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody as 25 different artists. Never before have I seen such a perfect Styx impression.



(Side question - do you like embedded video or links better?)

Just be glad I'm not Current Roommate Alex, and tried to Rickroll you.

conflicted marketing

Current Mood: impatient
Current Music: "Animal (Fuck Like A Beast)" by W.A.S.P., appropriately enough

Please take a moment and watch at this ad for Trojan condoms.

This ad has apparently met with some resistance from the major television networks because using sex to sell cars and food is fine, but not for condoms? I really don't care about the controversy, but I do have a problem with the marketing. The tagline for this campaign is:

evolve

use a condom every time

Now, am I the only one that sees mixed messages here? That's basically saying:

procreate so many times that random genetic mutations appear

don't have babies

Somebody's probably going to mention that Trojan probably is also focusing on prevention/spread of STIs and such, and their point is that you shouldn't act like a sexually focused animal but instead "class it up" by using a condom for your random hookups. Still, they're telling you to attempt two mutually exclusive actions!

dork peppermint patties

Current Mood: ig-nor-a-moose
Current Music: "Still Loving You" by Scorpions

Jenny and I are very pleased with our current subscription to Netflix. We've essentially exhausted my personal movie collection, so it has allowed us to start chewing through some of the movies we've missed, or even classics that one of us has not seen. Also, it's a lot cheaper (~$20.00 a month) than two $8.50 tickets and $7.00 in popcorn and drinks for a single movie theatre experience.

Recently, we watched Superman Returns. Similar to Batman Begins, I'd not seen any of the previous franchise films (which I'm told is generally a good thing). Most people seem to think that SR was an effects show and not much else, I thought it was pretty entertaining. Perhaps I did get a little irritated by the casual bending of physics, but hey- it's a superhero movie! My favorite superhero movie to date is probably The Punisher.

At any rate, it's not giving away plot to tell you that the setup involves Superman returning to earth after a five year hiatus (he travels to his destroyed home world). The entire movie, then, I was imagining the five year gap being troublesome and annoying to the Man of Steel. Something like this...


Superman couldn't get Lois Lane out of his mind. Engaged?! She was the one woman who made him feel connected to the fallible humans he'd sworn to protect with truth, justice, and the American way. Even worse, he didn't understand why his computer kept freezing up. How was he supposed to maintain his disguise as mild-mannered Clark Kent when this unfamiliar Vista system kept crashing? Even his x-ray vision revealed no problems, and he was toying with the idea of showing the hard drive the business end of his laser vision when suddenly - like a freight train - he felt the urge of citizens miles away from Metropolis needing his help. He stood up, adjusted his glasses, and sprinted for the door, narrowly missing Mr. White.

Out on the busy city streets, Clark quickly scanned the nearby sidewalks. With his super hearing, he knew dozens of helpless hardworking men and women were near death as their building threatened to collapse. He looked around again. The familiar phone booth on the corner of Main and Central Avenues was gone, as was the booth at the intersection of 5th and Washington. He ran to the other side of the courtyard and saw that even the old booth on the corner of Main and Burrard St. was missing!

"Clark!" cried out Jimmy Olsen. "What's wrong?"

"Jimmy, where are all the phone booths?" Superman asked, impatiently.

"Well, you see, Mr. Kent, you've been gone for a while. The past few years have seen a marked growth in the telecommunications industry, while miniaturization and more efficient manufacturing has led to the proliferation of affordable cellular phones that are now nearly ubiquitous."

"I see." said Superman, quietly.

"Furthermore, competition has spread between the major media conglomerates, such that consolidation has become the norm and large networks are being formed, competing for the business of the masses. Verizon, Vonage, AT&T, Cingular, Sprint, T-Mobile, GSM, Nextel, Virgin Mobile, Alltel, U.S. Cellular and -"

"Jimmy! Look over there!" Superman interrupted.

Frustrated, Superman used the momentary distraction to simply take off from the sidewalk, pedestrian observers be damned. He quickly flew several states away and used his super strength to hold up the side of the crumbling office building while the employees were safely evacuated, and then rocketed back to Metropolis, back to his office to change, and then quickly rejoined Jimmy in mid-conversation.

"and you can even use Skype or other freeware programs to set up a VOIP network on your computer to make free telephone calls over the internet! You see Clark, nobody uses land lines anymore except for emergency systems. The last telephone booth was removed from Metropolis several years ago. Why do you ask? And...where are your glasses?"

contact poison

Current Mood: warm
Current Music: "Take Me Home" by Phil Collins

Idea:

John Stewart vs. Stephen Colbert on Crossfire.

How can that go wrong?



Speaking of YouTube, if you haven't seen it yet, please watch:

Benny Benassi - Satisfaction

and then gird your loins for this:

The Ship of Fools - Satisfaction