Current Mood: call me butter, baby, I'm on a roll
I always make myself guilty about not writing here more. So I get here and the only thing I can think of at the time is about what I've been doing. And the only way for me to avoid writing 800 pages is to break up tiny little sections of my life and write about those.
Improv!
So I'm done with the Ship of Fools, and I miss those idiots like crazy. I went from practicing Wednesday and Friday nights (7-9pm) with shows about twice a month to one or two shows a month with practice just before. Old group, everybody was a student who lived nearby, new group everybody is older with family and lives around the state. Old group, people missed a show and we all got worried - usually it was because of an exam. New group, people sometimes are free for some shows, but mostly it's a small core of locals with a rotating group of others. Not that that's better or worse, just different.
Fools are about to do the holiday gift exchange - a tradition I started - for the first time without me. About ready to bring in the first new members since I've been gone. In six month's they'll do the first Awards Show without me, another thing I started. I'm happy for them, I really am. But boy howdy do I miss some of it.
I went back for an Open Forum meeting/practice, and after 5 months it seems like everybody is new! I mean, sure, part of that is I stuck around way longer than anybody else, but still...
Halloween party, where Jenny and I met? Older Fools were mostly nowhere to be seen, and I wonder if I was sort of the connection point between the old and the new?
That would make sense. Renee went to Maryland to go to school and be with Paul. Andrew moved to China to teach. Eric's moving to Indy. Stu moved to North Carolina. Taylor moved out of my apartment. Gavin/Becky are still on Co-Op, so I hardly see/saw them anyway. Brant is working strange hours/raising a baby! Not improv, but other Andrew moved to TEXAS to get his PHD in AEROSPACE ENGINEERING - he's going to be a friggin' Doctor of Rocket Science, how cool is that? Still, I feel like I'm hemorrhaging friends. I miss them, even though we didn't hang out all the time.
Improv! Focus. Anyway, it seems like the group will be okay, at least for now, since I've left, and above all that's what I wanted. Some interesting group dynamics developed but it sounds like they've worked out their problems. Steven told me he finally understood my intense passion for finding new blood, because you roll up and join the group and then before you know it you're a seasoned vet, ready to graduate, and wonder what happened. And that's even though I stayed for like, 7 years.
My sendoff was epic, and I really am happy for every second I was with that group. And my new group is great too, but I think I'm still finding my place with them. I went from respected elder to just...a performer. And in some ways, that's nice, because I don't have to arrange shows or handle conflicts or worry about money or advertising. I just show up, make with the funny, and make a few bucks. Which, admittedly, is sweet.
Would I ever do improv for a living? Probably not. I wouldn't want my hobby to become a job, and I doubt I could do it at that level, anyway. But when I leave Purdue, I think I'll be searching for some kind of outlet - whether that's improv or stand up or even some sort of podcast or webshow. I've had too much fun to quit now.
Showing posts with label comedy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label comedy. Show all posts
11.24.2011
7.25.2010
improv
Current Mood: productive
Anybody that knows me or reads this blog knows I spend a good part of my time hanging out with the Purdue Improvisation Club and the Ship of Fools.
Growing up I never really knew much about it. I watched a few episodes of Whose Line is it Anyway? and thought it was funny, thought I could probably do it but maybe not as well (not really knowing that they tape for hours and cut it down to make a half hour episode jam packed with the highlights). And growing up I never really thought of myself as a funnyman or a class clown - I would much rather make some quips to my friends from the back of the class or joke around with my brother and sister, quoting movies and listening to stuff like Monty Python sketches or dad's Bob & Tom tapes.
That all changed when Sis got to college and joined The Tower Players. She told me about it, and I went to see a few of her shows. I really enjoyed them, and that really sparked my interest.
That interest lay dormant until *I* got to college. I went to BGR (freshman orientation) and although at first I was smitten with the idea that I could be on the Crew Team, I did take a flyer for the Purdue Improv Club at the activity fair. My BGR team leader Ricky took us to see the *other* improv group on campus (The Crazy Monkeys) perform during that first week, and when I heard there were auditions he encouraged me to go because he thought I could make it. That was a pretty big boost during that very formative time. I was a wide-eyed freshman and the world was my oyster. Er, it was a giant sprawling campus filled with incredibly brilliant people and I was just a number.
My dreams of making the Crew Team died an embarassing death when I failed the swimming test and so instead I went to my first Open Forum of the Purdue Improv Club where I saw the Ship of Fools performing, that was in Fall 2004. By the end of the semester I was a regular, and it was more or less the highlight of my week going to laugh and hang out with everybody. A huge stress relief from the immense pressure I heaped on myself to do well academically, as well as a cool group of people who didn't want to drink and party all the time.
By March '04 I had been asked to join the Ship of Fools, along with my friend John "Tripod" Tubergen (who would later be my roommate in my first apartment). I loved it and dove headfirst into the club. I was very interested from the start in being a better performer on stage, but also in growing and expanding the scope of the club.
I tried really hard to improve our practices by adding feedback and show reviews. I created an Awards Ceremony and our holiday gift exchange, as well as some other traditions and celebrations. I had the good fortune to be in the troupe with some amazing performers who are to this day some of my best friends, and certainly they helped me make things bigger and better by participating in these events, giving me feedback, and adding their own ideas (Yes, And...).
Eventually I became Captain of the Ship of Fools and President of the Purdue Improv Club. By that point I had dozens of shows under my belt, and had the week-to-week operations of the club down pat. I tried to lead the group to even higher heights with more attendance, better performances, and more shows. All the while we had to deal with replacing what was really the first "class" of Fools after the founders, so recruiting was a big deal as well.
We took road trips and performed across the state. I used my contacts in University Residences to book regular gigs at the residence halls. We fought the Crazy Monkeys for fans and campus fame/recognition. We performed at festivals and opened for comedians, improv-ed for charity and put on shows with the Andy Ober Orchestra (a parody group). One of our biggest shows was at Elliot Hall of Music, the largest venue on campus. We teamed up with the Student Wellness Office at one point to help a broad initiative for student health. We trained and took workshops, then turned around and performed and tried to teach some improv as well. We even tried to expand our market, as it were, by jumping on the Facebook bandwagon and finding ways to advertise when they took away our sidewalk flyers.
But through all of that we still practiced once a week, and then had open forum every week - unless we had a show or it was a school break. And the semesters clicked by, even when I had trouble in school the group was and continues to be a great source of entertainment and happiness in my life. Heck, that's where I met my fiancee, at an improv Halloween party! And by the way, she's gone to just about every single show, so she probably knows more about improv than most of the new people in the troupe.
It's now been over 5 years since I joined the Ship of Fools. I still enjoy it, but for all the variablity of improv, I do feel a little bit stale. When I have played Chain Murder Mystery 200 times, it's rare when I get a suggestion that trips me up. I can run the meetings on the fly, and plan shows in my sleep. I've been in the group so long that I'm kind of like the Godfather. On one hand, it's great, because I can essentially snap my fingers and things get done just how I want them, and I can pick and choose which games I play and sometimes which shows to do just because.
I like to think I'm using my powers for good (I've gone overboard trying to steer the young ones towards what I hope is a stable line of succession), mostly by teaching the troupe why we do things and how, so that when I leave the club will continue to thrive at a high level instead of leaving some sort of power vaccum so the group has to reinvent the wheel and let those Crazy Monkeys gain any ground!
But I worry that sticking around will have an adverse affect on the group, where nobody gets pushed out of the comfort zone because they know I'll always pick up the slack, or nobody will try something crazy because they're used to doing things the same old way, my old way. And I don't think it's the case, but I worry I will live out my welcome and become That Old College Guy who doesn't know it's time to leave.
I love this group, and I want to do right by them. And if that means leaving soon so the new blood can spread their wings, then so be it. I will miss them, but the Ship of Fools have given me a lot and I will never forget that.
So what about me?
I know my first few years in the improv group I grew a lot. Some of it was life stuff - confidence on stage, in front of strangers, with public speaking, plus all the administrative stuff that comes with being a club officer like running meetings, communication and planning, and all the skills that come with negotiating show contracts and organizing shows, etc. But comedically? I think I have hit a plateau of sorts in the past few months. Like I said before, I don't think I'm growing as much because I keep doing the same improv habits. It's very much a skill that needs variety and to be challenged. So I've been keeping my mind open to the idea of maybe moving onto something new soon.
Lately, the SoF has been partnering with an improv troupe across town (not affilitated with Purdue) called One Size Fits All Improv (OSFA). They're an older group, made up of town folk that also do short form improv like the SoF. A lot of them have professional training in theatre or comedy, like Second City or ComedySportz or Improv Olympic. They're very funny and well trained.
They play similar games as the SoF, but they have a competitive game-show type format and play in venues that I'm not used to. They're a bit older so they have a different view than the college students I'm used to, and as I mentioned they have a lot of training and do a lot of good things in practice and during shows. I think they are, on the whole, more mature as well, which means they stay focused in practice and care a lot about shows (even if they are being total goofballs on stage). Since they aren't college based, there's a lot less turnover than our group, which is a different dynamic too.
I would consider OSFA a professional troupe. They are independent, for-profit, and have regular paying gigs to perform for an audience. By this measure, I would consider the SoF a semi-professional group, and I would like to think I have the skills and talent to move up to the next level.
I'm considering "retiring" from the Ship of Fools (before I graduate, unlike most people who end when they leave Purdue - but then again most people aren't here as long as I am) and trying to join OSFA. I've gotten a lot of very positive reception from them when we perform together, and I'm excited about the idea of working with a new group of people and moving out of my comfort zone. New faces, new ideas, new games, new suggestions, new venues - and not being The Old Guy who runs things. It's exciting and it's a little bit scary, because I've been doing the same old improv routine with the SoF for over half a decade now.
And what about the future?
Improv always started off as a sort of hobby for me. Just something I did after my schoolwork was done to blow off some steam. But over time it's really become a big part of who I am - as I mentioned that's where a lot of my friends and even my fiancee came from. I use the skills I learned there all the time, and it gives me another identity, another skill set. I don't think I'm quite ready to entertain the idea of pursuing this as a job, as a career - though if the option came up I would be surprised but also intrigued - and I don't know that I'm quite comfortable saying goodbye to improv when I'm done with school, either.
Hopefully when I'm done with Purdue and move onto the Real World, I will end up somewhere that has a college or theatre or troupe nearby that does improv. And that that group is even half as cool as the Ship of Fools, the group that I have had the pleasure of being a part of for so many years. And that maybe, just maybe, this theoretical group might have me on stage sometime.
Anybody that knows me or reads this blog knows I spend a good part of my time hanging out with the Purdue Improvisation Club and the Ship of Fools.
Growing up I never really knew much about it. I watched a few episodes of Whose Line is it Anyway? and thought it was funny, thought I could probably do it but maybe not as well (not really knowing that they tape for hours and cut it down to make a half hour episode jam packed with the highlights). And growing up I never really thought of myself as a funnyman or a class clown - I would much rather make some quips to my friends from the back of the class or joke around with my brother and sister, quoting movies and listening to stuff like Monty Python sketches or dad's Bob & Tom tapes.
That all changed when Sis got to college and joined The Tower Players. She told me about it, and I went to see a few of her shows. I really enjoyed them, and that really sparked my interest.
That interest lay dormant until *I* got to college. I went to BGR (freshman orientation) and although at first I was smitten with the idea that I could be on the Crew Team, I did take a flyer for the Purdue Improv Club at the activity fair. My BGR team leader Ricky took us to see the *other* improv group on campus (The Crazy Monkeys) perform during that first week, and when I heard there were auditions he encouraged me to go because he thought I could make it. That was a pretty big boost during that very formative time. I was a wide-eyed freshman and the world was my oyster. Er, it was a giant sprawling campus filled with incredibly brilliant people and I was just a number.
My dreams of making the Crew Team died an embarassing death when I failed the swimming test and so instead I went to my first Open Forum of the Purdue Improv Club where I saw the Ship of Fools performing, that was in Fall 2004. By the end of the semester I was a regular, and it was more or less the highlight of my week going to laugh and hang out with everybody. A huge stress relief from the immense pressure I heaped on myself to do well academically, as well as a cool group of people who didn't want to drink and party all the time.
By March '04 I had been asked to join the Ship of Fools, along with my friend John "Tripod" Tubergen (who would later be my roommate in my first apartment). I loved it and dove headfirst into the club. I was very interested from the start in being a better performer on stage, but also in growing and expanding the scope of the club.
I tried really hard to improve our practices by adding feedback and show reviews. I created an Awards Ceremony and our holiday gift exchange, as well as some other traditions and celebrations. I had the good fortune to be in the troupe with some amazing performers who are to this day some of my best friends, and certainly they helped me make things bigger and better by participating in these events, giving me feedback, and adding their own ideas (Yes, And...).
Eventually I became Captain of the Ship of Fools and President of the Purdue Improv Club. By that point I had dozens of shows under my belt, and had the week-to-week operations of the club down pat. I tried to lead the group to even higher heights with more attendance, better performances, and more shows. All the while we had to deal with replacing what was really the first "class" of Fools after the founders, so recruiting was a big deal as well.
We took road trips and performed across the state. I used my contacts in University Residences to book regular gigs at the residence halls. We fought the Crazy Monkeys for fans and campus fame/recognition. We performed at festivals and opened for comedians, improv-ed for charity and put on shows with the Andy Ober Orchestra (a parody group). One of our biggest shows was at Elliot Hall of Music, the largest venue on campus. We teamed up with the Student Wellness Office at one point to help a broad initiative for student health. We trained and took workshops, then turned around and performed and tried to teach some improv as well. We even tried to expand our market, as it were, by jumping on the Facebook bandwagon and finding ways to advertise when they took away our sidewalk flyers.
But through all of that we still practiced once a week, and then had open forum every week - unless we had a show or it was a school break. And the semesters clicked by, even when I had trouble in school the group was and continues to be a great source of entertainment and happiness in my life. Heck, that's where I met my fiancee, at an improv Halloween party! And by the way, she's gone to just about every single show, so she probably knows more about improv than most of the new people in the troupe.
It's now been over 5 years since I joined the Ship of Fools. I still enjoy it, but for all the variablity of improv, I do feel a little bit stale. When I have played Chain Murder Mystery 200 times, it's rare when I get a suggestion that trips me up. I can run the meetings on the fly, and plan shows in my sleep. I've been in the group so long that I'm kind of like the Godfather. On one hand, it's great, because I can essentially snap my fingers and things get done just how I want them, and I can pick and choose which games I play and sometimes which shows to do just because.
I like to think I'm using my powers for good (I've gone overboard trying to steer the young ones towards what I hope is a stable line of succession), mostly by teaching the troupe why we do things and how, so that when I leave the club will continue to thrive at a high level instead of leaving some sort of power vaccum so the group has to reinvent the wheel and let those Crazy Monkeys gain any ground!
But I worry that sticking around will have an adverse affect on the group, where nobody gets pushed out of the comfort zone because they know I'll always pick up the slack, or nobody will try something crazy because they're used to doing things the same old way, my old way. And I don't think it's the case, but I worry I will live out my welcome and become That Old College Guy who doesn't know it's time to leave.
I love this group, and I want to do right by them. And if that means leaving soon so the new blood can spread their wings, then so be it. I will miss them, but the Ship of Fools have given me a lot and I will never forget that.
So what about me?
I know my first few years in the improv group I grew a lot. Some of it was life stuff - confidence on stage, in front of strangers, with public speaking, plus all the administrative stuff that comes with being a club officer like running meetings, communication and planning, and all the skills that come with negotiating show contracts and organizing shows, etc. But comedically? I think I have hit a plateau of sorts in the past few months. Like I said before, I don't think I'm growing as much because I keep doing the same improv habits. It's very much a skill that needs variety and to be challenged. So I've been keeping my mind open to the idea of maybe moving onto something new soon.
Lately, the SoF has been partnering with an improv troupe across town (not affilitated with Purdue) called One Size Fits All Improv (OSFA). They're an older group, made up of town folk that also do short form improv like the SoF. A lot of them have professional training in theatre or comedy, like Second City or ComedySportz or Improv Olympic. They're very funny and well trained.
They play similar games as the SoF, but they have a competitive game-show type format and play in venues that I'm not used to. They're a bit older so they have a different view than the college students I'm used to, and as I mentioned they have a lot of training and do a lot of good things in practice and during shows. I think they are, on the whole, more mature as well, which means they stay focused in practice and care a lot about shows (even if they are being total goofballs on stage). Since they aren't college based, there's a lot less turnover than our group, which is a different dynamic too.
I would consider OSFA a professional troupe. They are independent, for-profit, and have regular paying gigs to perform for an audience. By this measure, I would consider the SoF a semi-professional group, and I would like to think I have the skills and talent to move up to the next level.
I'm considering "retiring" from the Ship of Fools (before I graduate, unlike most people who end when they leave Purdue - but then again most people aren't here as long as I am) and trying to join OSFA. I've gotten a lot of very positive reception from them when we perform together, and I'm excited about the idea of working with a new group of people and moving out of my comfort zone. New faces, new ideas, new games, new suggestions, new venues - and not being The Old Guy who runs things. It's exciting and it's a little bit scary, because I've been doing the same old improv routine with the SoF for over half a decade now.
And what about the future?
Improv always started off as a sort of hobby for me. Just something I did after my schoolwork was done to blow off some steam. But over time it's really become a big part of who I am - as I mentioned that's where a lot of my friends and even my fiancee came from. I use the skills I learned there all the time, and it gives me another identity, another skill set. I don't think I'm quite ready to entertain the idea of pursuing this as a job, as a career - though if the option came up I would be surprised but also intrigued - and I don't know that I'm quite comfortable saying goodbye to improv when I'm done with school, either.
Hopefully when I'm done with Purdue and move onto the Real World, I will end up somewhere that has a college or theatre or troupe nearby that does improv. And that that group is even half as cool as the Ship of Fools, the group that I have had the pleasure of being a part of for so many years. And that maybe, just maybe, this theoretical group might have me on stage sometime.
2.10.2010
been a long time I've rock and rolled
Current Mood: anxious
I know I don't post here super regularly anymore but doggone it, I found this hilarious. Look at his little tail!
| Important Things with Demetri Martin | ||||
| Attention - Bruce the Funny Dog | ||||
| ||||
I know I don't post here super regularly anymore but doggone it, I found this hilarious. Look at his little tail!
8.03.2009
Tell us how you really feel
Current Mood: a little embarassed
Administrative Responsibilities:
Unsatisfactory Marginal Good Excellent Exceptional (written in and circled) Mind Blowing
Staff Function:
Unsatisfactory Marginal Good Excellent Exceptional (written in and circled) Beyond Words
Customer Service
Unsatisfactory Marginal Good Excellent Exceptional (written in and circled) Superior in Every Way
"Really, this employee is beyond description, setting the bar so high and working so hard and so well the English language as we know it has not the appropriate words to convey this truly remarkable young man. But, as his supervisor, I must try to describe, to you, dear reader, what a true pleasure and honor it was simply to share a workspace with this, this...dynamo, this superbeing of professionalism and knowledge, of humility and modesty, of work ethic and flexibility, of handsomeness and charisma...
(over, obviously)
patriotism and intellect, and countless other measures too numerous to list here. In short, he is absolutely everything we've ever searched for in an employee - and then some. How we've come this far without him is a mystery that vexes me constantly and causes me countless sleepless nights."
-SA Ryan Garwood's [fake] review of OA Ryan Garwood
Administrative Responsibilities:
Unsatisfactory Marginal Good Excellent Exceptional (written in and circled) Mind Blowing
Staff Function:
Unsatisfactory Marginal Good Excellent Exceptional (written in and circled) Beyond Words
Customer Service
Unsatisfactory Marginal Good Excellent Exceptional (written in and circled) Superior in Every Way
"Really, this employee is beyond description, setting the bar so high and working so hard and so well the English language as we know it has not the appropriate words to convey this truly remarkable young man. But, as his supervisor, I must try to describe, to you, dear reader, what a true pleasure and honor it was simply to share a workspace with this, this...dynamo, this superbeing of professionalism and knowledge, of humility and modesty, of work ethic and flexibility, of handsomeness and charisma...
(over, obviously)
patriotism and intellect, and countless other measures too numerous to list here. In short, he is absolutely everything we've ever searched for in an employee - and then some. How we've come this far without him is a mystery that vexes me constantly and causes me countless sleepless nights."
-SA Ryan Garwood's [fake] review of OA Ryan Garwood
4.06.2008
the wrong side of the tracks
Current Mood: nostalgic
I found this on a friend's profile and thought it was funny, so I thought I'd share.
How to sing the Blues - a primer
1. Most Blues begins with: "Woke up this morning..."
2. "I got a good woman" is a bad way to begin the Blues, unless you stick something nasty in the next line like, "I got a good woman, with the meanest face in town."
3. The Blues is simple. After you get the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes...sort of: "Got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Yes I got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Got teeth like Margaret Thatcher and she weighs 500 pound."
4. Teenagers can't sing the blues. They ain't fixin' to die yet. Adults sing the Blues. In Blues, "adulthood means being old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis."
5. Blues can take place in New York City but not in Hawaii or any place in Canada. Hard times in Minneapolis or Seattle is probably just clinical depression. Chicago, St. Louis and Kansas City are still the best places to have the Blues. You cannot have the Blues in any place that don't get rain.
6. A man with male pattern baldness ain't the Blues. A woman with male pattern baldness is. Breaking your leg 'cause you were skiing is not the Blues. Breaking you leg 'cause an alligator be chomping on it is.
7. You can't have no Blues in an office or a shopping mall. The lighting is wrong. Go outside to the parking lot or sit by the dumpster.
8. Good places for the Blues:
- Highway
- Jailhouse
- Empty bed
- Bottom of a whiskey glass
Bad places for the Blues:
- Nordstrom's
- Gallery openings
- Ivy League institutions
- Golf courses
9. No on will believe it's the Blues if you wear a suit, 'less you happen to be an old ethnic person and you slept in it.
10. Do you have the right to sing the Blues?
Yes, if:
a. You older than dirt
b. You blind
c. You shot a man in Memphis
d. You can't be satisfied
No, if:
a. You have all your teeth
b. You were once blind but now can see
c. The man in Memphis lived
d. You have 410K or trust fund
11. Blues is not a matter of colour. It's a matter of bad luck. Tiger Woods cannot sing the Blues. Sonny Liston could. Ugly white people also got a leg up on the Blues.
12. If you ask for water and your darlin' give you gasoline, it's the Blues
Other acceptable beverages are:
a. Cheap wine
b. Whiskey or bourbon
c. Muddy water
d. Nasty black coffee
The following are NOT Blues beverages:
a. Perrier
b. Chardonnay
c. Snapple
d. Slim fast
13. If death occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it's a Blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another Blues way to die. So are the electric chair, substance abuse and dying lonely on a broken-down cot. You can't have a Blues death if you die during a tennis match or while getting liposuction.
It all kinda reminds me of that fateful car trip, and the legend of Spodiddly.
I found this on a friend's profile and thought it was funny, so I thought I'd share.
How to sing the Blues - a primer
1. Most Blues begins with: "Woke up this morning..."
2. "I got a good woman" is a bad way to begin the Blues, unless you stick something nasty in the next line like, "I got a good woman, with the meanest face in town."
3. The Blues is simple. After you get the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes...sort of: "Got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Yes I got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Got teeth like Margaret Thatcher and she weighs 500 pound."
4. Teenagers can't sing the blues. They ain't fixin' to die yet. Adults sing the Blues. In Blues, "adulthood means being old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis."
5. Blues can take place in New York City but not in Hawaii or any place in Canada. Hard times in Minneapolis or Seattle is probably just clinical depression. Chicago, St. Louis and Kansas City are still the best places to have the Blues. You cannot have the Blues in any place that don't get rain.
6. A man with male pattern baldness ain't the Blues. A woman with male pattern baldness is. Breaking your leg 'cause you were skiing is not the Blues. Breaking you leg 'cause an alligator be chomping on it is.
7. You can't have no Blues in an office or a shopping mall. The lighting is wrong. Go outside to the parking lot or sit by the dumpster.
8. Good places for the Blues:
- Highway
- Jailhouse
- Empty bed
- Bottom of a whiskey glass
Bad places for the Blues:
- Nordstrom's
- Gallery openings
- Ivy League institutions
- Golf courses
9. No on will believe it's the Blues if you wear a suit, 'less you happen to be an old ethnic person and you slept in it.
10. Do you have the right to sing the Blues?
Yes, if:
a. You older than dirt
b. You blind
c. You shot a man in Memphis
d. You can't be satisfied
No, if:
a. You have all your teeth
b. You were once blind but now can see
c. The man in Memphis lived
d. You have 410K or trust fund
11. Blues is not a matter of colour. It's a matter of bad luck. Tiger Woods cannot sing the Blues. Sonny Liston could. Ugly white people also got a leg up on the Blues.
12. If you ask for water and your darlin' give you gasoline, it's the Blues
Other acceptable beverages are:
a. Cheap wine
b. Whiskey or bourbon
c. Muddy water
d. Nasty black coffee
The following are NOT Blues beverages:
a. Perrier
b. Chardonnay
c. Snapple
d. Slim fast
13. If death occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it's a Blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another Blues way to die. So are the electric chair, substance abuse and dying lonely on a broken-down cot. You can't have a Blues death if you die during a tennis match or while getting liposuction.
It all kinda reminds me of that fateful car trip, and the legend of Spodiddly.
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