Tell us how you really feel

Current Mood: a little embarassed

Administrative Responsibilities:
Unsatisfactory Marginal Good Excellent Exceptional (written in and circled) Mind Blowing

Staff Function:
Unsatisfactory Marginal Good Excellent Exceptional (written in and circled) Beyond Words

Customer Service
Unsatisfactory Marginal Good Excellent Exceptional (written in and circled) Superior in Every Way

"Really, this employee is beyond description, setting the bar so high and working so hard and so well the English language as we know it has not the appropriate words to convey this truly remarkable young man. But, as his supervisor, I must try to describe, to you, dear reader, what a true pleasure and honor it was simply to share a workspace with this, this...dynamo, this superbeing of professionalism and knowledge, of humility and modesty, of work ethic and flexibility, of handsomeness and charisma...

(over, obviously)

patriotism and intellect, and countless other measures too numerous to list here. In short, he is absolutely everything we've ever searched for in an employee - and then some. How we've come this far without him is a mystery that vexes me constantly and causes me countless sleepless nights."

-SA Ryan Garwood's [fake] review of OA Ryan Garwood