closing in

Current Mood: removed from the bubble

Another semester finished (around the first week of May) at Purdue, which means I am down to just 2 semesters.  One more school year.  My "senior" year, for real.  One last summer break (during which I am happy to be busy with my internship!), one last set of holidays, one last winter break, one last spring break - the familiar school routine I've had since grade school.  Only 2 more sets of finals!

I learned a ton of new stuff.  I'm really glad I took my extra 490 classes - I gained some unique experience doing hangar maintenance, as well as some confidence doing hands-on work in my field.  My fuels class really let me gain a rapport with one of my professors, and I learned some things about the industry that are outside the books, stuff they don't test you on but I feel like helps me understand the big picture.  I even managed to get my best grade in electronics yet, which has always been a struggle for me.

My senior year will be somewhat front loaded, with something like 18 credit hours in the fall and probably about 13 in the spring - I wanted to try and take Air Traffic Control classes, but my schedule would not allow it.  This includes senior design (both semesters), which I've heard horror stories of in terms of time commitment.  I'd like to balance that out a little, but hopefully this way I can spend more time (especially in the spring) on job searching (and A&P prep)!  That's right, honest to goodness, college graduate, real world, time to be an adult and look for gainful employment job searching.  I can't wait!

After 8 years of Purdue (with one more to go), it's time for me to fly.  I have to trust that just like retiring from the Ship of Fools, this is the right move.  There's definitely part of me that's somewhat institutionalized - I love Purdue, and I love knowing exactly where everything is, where to go and who to talk to for anything I need or want, knowing where the best food is, the quickest routes, stuff like that.  Feeling like a king around campus, because I have insider knowledge and my finger on the pulse of what's important.  I have family and friends close by, we have an awesome apartment filled with all of my favorite things - why would I go anyplace else?

Of course, if I go someplace new, I'm sure I can recapture those feelings - it just takes time and effort.  And let's be realistic, when I finally graduate, more than likely we will be moving.  Most of the jobs in my field are in Washington, California, Texas (ugh), Florida, DC, places like that.  As awful as it would be for J to leave her school that she loves and fought so hard to get, the reality is that she'll have an easier time finding a school near my job than vice versa.  I'm not opposed to staying here - if I could find something, or somebody would pay for my grad school, sure, I'm just not sure how plausible that scenario is.

That all said, I'm feeling surprisingly optimistic about the job search (ask me again in a year, haha).  I'm doing very well with my new major, especially grades wise.  My cumulative grades (including that debacle half decade in engineering) have finally been pulled, kicking and screaming, to the floor of acceptable.  My major GPA is rockin'.  My professors like me and know me (one of my professors asked me in March if I had anything lined up for the summer, and when I told him my internship was pending, he told me if it didn't work out he'd "find something for me").  I see my professors in the hall and they say hi to me, and they know my name, which is a great feeling.  Something I didn't even consider when I switched to this smaller program, but definitely something I like.

Some of my classmates have gotten internships at some places I'd love to work (Lockheed, Rolls Royce, Gulfstream, etc.).  So it can definitely be done!  I just have to buckle down, put my head down and power through.  One more year of classes, books, and exams.  One last year to do all the Purdue stuff I've put off (not that much), and then graduate.  Oh, and take my A&P test  *shudder*.  Plus, I have got to stop paying for school and start paying down loans.  That's...that's all I'm going to talk about that subject for now.

This May has been so weird.  Seniors in my major are leaving, and I had just started to feel like I was getting to know them.  Now I'm going to be those seniors.  Another group of people (all majors, lots from the improv club and Ship of Fools, little siblings of people I started college with) graduating, some of which started schools years after I did, and now I've watched the grow up and now it's time to say goodbye.  I'm extremely proud of them and happy for them, but there's a tiny bit that stings.  Something about seeing them come and go, instead of being the one leaving.  Seeing Facebook blow up with statuses and pictures of caps and gowns and sappy goodbyes.  I have plenty of great stuff to take from my time at Purdue already, and I'm sure I will look back on my time here fondly, but right now I see a lot of frustration, wasted time and opportunity, and spinning wheels on my part.  Never, never thought I'd be one of those old guy students who spent more than 4 (even 5) years to finish his undergrad degree.


UGH.  Gotta push those stupid feelings away and get down to business.