video gamery

Current Mood: solitude
Current Music: "Little Miss Can't Be Wrong" by The Spin Doctors

Warning: women and pregnant children may not be able to handle the sheer nerdity of the following post. It's summer break, and for once my job is very conducive to playing video games. I haven't played this much in a long long time...how I've missed thee.

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I finally beat Ikaruga. For those unaware, I picked up this side-scrolling shooter on a whim a few years ago at EB Games because A) it looked cool, with epic manga-type animations and B) the box pretty much made it clear it was damn near impossible to play*. I fancy myself something of a hot-shot when it comes to any game related to flight, so of course I took it home with a smug look and high hopes.

Quick summary: Japanese import. Single pilot takes on entire alien invasion. 2-D vertical scroller. No powerups. All enemies are either red/black or blue/white colored, and fire energy of their respective color. Player can change polarity (color) at will and absorb this energy, and fire it back. Destroying like colors sends energy spewing back at you. Touching any object, ship, or opposite color- instant death.

A quick glance of the booklet showed that there are just five levels, and every hour of play nets the player one more continue (four more lives). Straight up weaksauce, right?








Wrong.




Every single stage was a new lesson in horror and geometric insanity. Each stage was passed through many, many, many deaths as I learned a new definition of pain and suffering- each time convinced "this is the most evil flight pattern ever conceived". Forget your Galaga, where 10 fighters diagonally descend from above. No sir, this is trapped in an outer ring of red and blue turrets, inside is a counter-rotating grid of alternating mega-beams of red and blue energy, whilst dodging a shifting inner-inner wheel of bulkheads in a giant spinning boss wheel of colorful firey unforgiving death.

It's addicting. I quickly realized why each hour was a new continue- it took so long to memorize which direction death came from fastest, to recognize that nowhere was safe on the screen, to sharpen reflexes to superhuman speed, and to realize that this game owns you. It's Purdue Engineering: The Game. It took me approximately eight hours (nine continues, because the fuckers that made this game only start you with one). Some portions I *still* can't really master, I just have enough lives to survive.

The amazing part is that there's advanced techniques. "Hard" mode means everything spews energy on death, not just like colors. Points are awarded for chains of like colors destroyed, something that's hard to concentrate on when you're dodging laser grids and flak fire of alternating color death. Boss fights are timed, so there's also a way to beat the *entire* game without firing a shot- a balls to the wall master technique known as "bullet eater" where you simply dodge everything in the game, switching with zen-like mastery and avoiding every single enemy, wall, platform, and opposite color.

I am capable of none of this, however...I simply am thrilled to have beaten it.

True, Ikaruga is more of "skill" and "enjoying the insanity" rather than true creativity (every level is the same, so you can memorize), but it's so well done. The graphics are nothing short of gorgeous. I never had any problems playing the game, other than inventing new curse words. And it's sweet ass showing people and seeing the look their face when I get to the fifth level. I highly recommend playing it.

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As far as other video games, John "Cowboy" Clawson loaned me his Gamecube for the summer, so I've also dabbled with:

SSB:M - an old favorite. Have met my match with John "Freshman" "Tripod" Tubergen, who recently celebrated his 21st. He's...our...booze connection next year? *odd*

Mario Golf - I remain thoroughly convinced that true golf is boring as hell. Mario golf, however, is hella fun. It's bright, it's colorful, and autoswing keeps me from slicing into the rough.

Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time - consistently regarded as one of the greatest video games of all time, I have always been curious about this one. I'm only a few hours into this, and the scope seems nothing short of epic. Kinda reminds me of Mario 64, but a little more serious. It also reminds me of when my old babysitter Jennifer (whom we called "Ziffer") played the original Legend of Zelda with us. Rawk.

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Finally, I'm not proud to admit that I have succumbed to the dark side. For months I've made fun of others for their addictions to and devotions of, as well as poking fun at the genre and community as a whole. I was jealous and fearful.

I'm now playing World of Warcraft. Obviously, my soul is not lost yet, because Jenny is still my girlfriend. If my friends are any indication, that might not last much longer.

I fully blame FR John for this one. He's been pushing me to play since...since forever. Constantly dropping references and talking it up, encouraging me to join and play and fight for the horde and join his guild and whatnot. He even bought me the frickin' game for my birthday. And of course now I'm getting addicted.

There's a reason I don't play much video games or watch tv during the school year. I know that I play them too much! Yesterday I went to bed at 7am after playing WoW for a while. I bought the game two weeks ago and I'm pretty absorbed.

What makes WoW so much worse than other games? Well, as a MMORPG, it combines a traditional video game with social constructs. Basically, you can kill monsters in dungeons with your friends. So for all my WoW bashing, it does mean quality time with David, Dan, and Eric, whom I miss terribly. Must...control...habit.

So, if you're reading this and are one of the unfortunate ones...

(as of this morning)
Foxunit
Level 26 Troll Hunter (Engineering and Mining)
Blackhand Server

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*Side discussion: Bradley and I have a love/hate relationships with certain video games. Some games (for example Ikaruga, Ninja Gaiden, Super Monkey Ball) are genuinely truly difficult, and it's apparent from the onset what you're getting into. Other games (such as Mario 64, Metroid Prime) are overall manageable and fun, but often feature more difficult portions (boss fights, etc.), or higher difficulties. This is normal in video games- they are trying to walk the fine line between being too easy and too difficult. But sometimes you get a game which, through poor level design, camera problems, or fucking unforgiving sections (i.e. quickly jumping onto consecutive narrow platforms), a normal game becomes a hell-spawn of digital frustration. Sometimes it's so frustrating, you have to take a break and just play a different game. This is what we like to call the "piss-off factor".

By nature, video gamers are problem solvers. Say what you will about the raping of traditional family values and the degradation of the moral fiber of today's youth (an argument I obviously don't buy- I've been playing games since I was 5. Have stopped civilizations single handedly, and have yet confuse this with killing a real person), most video games are meant to challenge multiple levels of intellect.

Take for example a game of Metal Gear Solid, a game of tactical espionage and stealth. At the most basic level, the game exercises hand/eye coordination and learned hand reflexive motion to manipulate the controller in the necessary fashions to control Solid Snake. Visual acuity and mental processing interpret events as they happen on screen, from finer motor control (i.e. aiming, manipulating objects) to responses in dialogue and motion. This game also challenges players to balance movement with stealth in the form of sound, camouflage, and detection (footprints, weather, light and shadow...). In addition, there is subconscious mental processing, both on an immediate level ("how do I sneak past the two guards ahead?"), a tactical level ("if I set off an alarm, reinforcements on this corridor will make it harder to find the DARPA chief"), to strategic ("finding the prisoner gives me the keys to reach the hangar where they store Metal Gear Rex").

Long rant/story short- games are meant to be fun, and I believe they increase mental capacity, not degrade it.