Current Mood: somewhat garrulous in certain company
When I'm working hard, I complain about wanting time off, and then when I have some, I don't always know what to do with myself. I'm bad at days off (used to joke about my dad like that), which is probably why I'm just now updating my blog since [checks] June. Well, here we are, Thanksgiving break, and I'm pacing awkwardly around the apartment like a nervous...thing, cleaning and organizing a few things, watching something half-heartedly for a bit before I'm onto something else. Even this post is taking me forever to write (he typed, out of order).
I think it boils down to A) I always feel like I should be doing something else [mostly studying, working on school things, or cleaning because I'm somewhat neurotic], and so when I only have a little bit of time (for example, a few hours between dinner and bed) my options are limited, so there's not much to decide or even dwell on - priorities get lined up easily enough and I start at the top and go until I can't or won't. And B) when I actually DO get a break (a long weekend, time off from school, etc.) I'm reluctant to dive into something larger like tackle a video game I've owned for YEARS but never really played, because I know I won't finish before I have to go back to the routine, and even worse I've had times where I get so sucked into a project it becomes my all consuming focus and I start slacking on the things that MUST be done. I'd rather dampen my expectations and ambitions to ease the eventual transition back to the normal day-to-day stuff, how sad is that?
I miss some of my college friends. Some of them long moved away, growing up and moving on, but some I haven't stayed connected with them beyond writing "Happy Birthday" once a year on their Facebook walls, which admittedly is more than some of my other friends but is a hollow, false approximation of friendship. Maybe I'm putting too much of it on my own shoulders - friendship is a 2 way street and people change over time, right? Others friends have more recently graduated, and I have squandered my more than fair share of time with them in the same city, geographical proximity being an apparently under appreciated or underestimated barrier to closeness. I'm woefully under prepared to soon become the person moving away myself, having been in a state of academic arrested development for nearly a decade (much more on that later).
My family has recently undergone more upheaval and restructuring than I thought would ever happen, topping the previous high that was already nigh-unbelievable (to me, at least). Not all of it is bad, mind you, but when I tell people about our made up holiday (ThanXmus) that supposedly solves all of our travel and togetherness issues, it's a lie about something that works better in theory than in practice, at least with our family.
Also, I am basically 5 months (a few more weeks, plus spring semester) away from finally (FINALLY) graduating. It's a mixed up set of emotions, thoughts, and goals, but I'm closing in. Unfortunately, it is really starting to take a financial toll on me and Jenny. I'm sure we'll get through it, but right now I'm a mood to take the first job that comes along, just to know something. Having flashbacks to right around our wedding, where we didn't know where we'd be living, where/if Jenny would have a job, and if I could even continue to go to school. Probably the best lesson to take from that was that things worked out pretty well, but those sorts of thoughts don't pay bills, write papers, or get jobs.
Now it's time to ignore school for a bit and see my in-laws.
Showing posts with label money. Show all posts
Showing posts with label money. Show all posts
11.21.2012
5.27.2012
closing in
Current Mood: removed from the bubble
Another semester finished (around the first week of May) at Purdue, which means I am down to just 2 semesters. One more school year. My "senior" year, for real. One last summer break (during which I am happy to be busy with my internship!), one last set of holidays, one last winter break, one last spring break - the familiar school routine I've had since grade school. Only 2 more sets of finals!
I learned a ton of new stuff. I'm really glad I took my extra 490 classes - I gained some unique experience doing hangar maintenance, as well as some confidence doing hands-on work in my field. My fuels class really let me gain a rapport with one of my professors, and I learned some things about the industry that are outside the books, stuff they don't test you on but I feel like helps me understand the big picture. I even managed to get my best grade in electronics yet, which has always been a struggle for me.
My senior year will be somewhat front loaded, with something like 18 credit hours in the fall and probably about 13 in the spring - I wanted to try and take Air Traffic Control classes, but my schedule would not allow it. This includes senior design (both semesters), which I've heard horror stories of in terms of time commitment. I'd like to balance that out a little, but hopefully this way I can spend more time (especially in the spring) on job searching (and A&P prep)! That's right, honest to goodness, college graduate, real world, time to be an adult and look for gainful employment job searching. I can't wait!
After 8 years of Purdue (with one more to go), it's time for me to fly. I have to trust that just like retiring from the Ship of Fools, this is the right move. There's definitely part of me that's somewhat institutionalized - I love Purdue, and I love knowing exactly where everything is, where to go and who to talk to for anything I need or want, knowing where the best food is, the quickest routes, stuff like that. Feeling like a king around campus, because I have insider knowledge and my finger on the pulse of what's important. I have family and friends close by, we have an awesome apartment filled with all of my favorite things - why would I go anyplace else?
Of course, if I go someplace new, I'm sure I can recapture those feelings - it just takes time and effort. And let's be realistic, when I finally graduate, more than likely we will be moving. Most of the jobs in my field are in Washington, California, Texas (ugh), Florida, DC, places like that. As awful as it would be for J to leave her school that she loves and fought so hard to get, the reality is that she'll have an easier time finding a school near my job than vice versa. I'm not opposed to staying here - if I could find something, or somebody would pay for my grad school, sure, I'm just not sure how plausible that scenario is.
That all said, I'm feeling surprisingly optimistic about the job search (ask me again in a year, haha). I'm doing very well with my new major, especially grades wise. My cumulative grades (including that debacle half decade in engineering) have finally been pulled, kicking and screaming, to the floor of acceptable. My major GPA is rockin'. My professors like me and know me (one of my professors asked me in March if I had anything lined up for the summer, and when I told him my internship was pending, he told me if it didn't work out he'd "find something for me"). I see my professors in the hall and they say hi to me, and they know my name, which is a great feeling. Something I didn't even consider when I switched to this smaller program, but definitely something I like.
Some of my classmates have gotten internships at some places I'd love to work (Lockheed, Rolls Royce, Gulfstream, etc.). So it can definitely be done! I just have to buckle down, put my head down and power through. One more year of classes, books, and exams. One last year to do all the Purdue stuff I've put off (not that much), and then graduate. Oh, and take my A&P test *shudder*. Plus, I have got to stop paying for school and start paying down loans. That's...that's all I'm going to talk about that subject for now.
This May has been so weird. Seniors in my major are leaving, and I had just started to feel like I was getting to know them. Now I'm going to be those seniors. Another group of people (all majors, lots from the improv club and Ship of Fools, little siblings of people I started college with) graduating, some of which started schools years after I did, and now I've watched the grow up and now it's time to say goodbye. I'm extremely proud of them and happy for them, but there's a tiny bit that stings. Something about seeing them come and go, instead of being the one leaving. Seeing Facebook blow up with statuses and pictures of caps and gowns and sappy goodbyes. I have plenty of great stuff to take from my time at Purdue already, and I'm sure I will look back on my time here fondly, but right now I see a lot of frustration, wasted time and opportunity, and spinning wheels on my part. Never, never thought I'd be one of those old guy students who spent more than 4 (even 5) years to finish his undergrad degree.
UGH. Gotta push those stupid feelings away and get down to business.
Another semester finished (around the first week of May) at Purdue, which means I am down to just 2 semesters. One more school year. My "senior" year, for real. One last summer break (during which I am happy to be busy with my internship!), one last set of holidays, one last winter break, one last spring break - the familiar school routine I've had since grade school. Only 2 more sets of finals!
I learned a ton of new stuff. I'm really glad I took my extra 490 classes - I gained some unique experience doing hangar maintenance, as well as some confidence doing hands-on work in my field. My fuels class really let me gain a rapport with one of my professors, and I learned some things about the industry that are outside the books, stuff they don't test you on but I feel like helps me understand the big picture. I even managed to get my best grade in electronics yet, which has always been a struggle for me.
My senior year will be somewhat front loaded, with something like 18 credit hours in the fall and probably about 13 in the spring - I wanted to try and take Air Traffic Control classes, but my schedule would not allow it. This includes senior design (both semesters), which I've heard horror stories of in terms of time commitment. I'd like to balance that out a little, but hopefully this way I can spend more time (especially in the spring) on job searching (and A&P prep)! That's right, honest to goodness, college graduate, real world, time to be an adult and look for gainful employment job searching. I can't wait!
After 8 years of Purdue (with one more to go), it's time for me to fly. I have to trust that just like retiring from the Ship of Fools, this is the right move. There's definitely part of me that's somewhat institutionalized - I love Purdue, and I love knowing exactly where everything is, where to go and who to talk to for anything I need or want, knowing where the best food is, the quickest routes, stuff like that. Feeling like a king around campus, because I have insider knowledge and my finger on the pulse of what's important. I have family and friends close by, we have an awesome apartment filled with all of my favorite things - why would I go anyplace else?
Of course, if I go someplace new, I'm sure I can recapture those feelings - it just takes time and effort. And let's be realistic, when I finally graduate, more than likely we will be moving. Most of the jobs in my field are in Washington, California, Texas (ugh), Florida, DC, places like that. As awful as it would be for J to leave her school that she loves and fought so hard to get, the reality is that she'll have an easier time finding a school near my job than vice versa. I'm not opposed to staying here - if I could find something, or somebody would pay for my grad school, sure, I'm just not sure how plausible that scenario is.
That all said, I'm feeling surprisingly optimistic about the job search (ask me again in a year, haha). I'm doing very well with my new major, especially grades wise. My cumulative grades (including that debacle half decade in engineering) have finally been pulled, kicking and screaming, to the floor of acceptable. My major GPA is rockin'. My professors like me and know me (one of my professors asked me in March if I had anything lined up for the summer, and when I told him my internship was pending, he told me if it didn't work out he'd "find something for me"). I see my professors in the hall and they say hi to me, and they know my name, which is a great feeling. Something I didn't even consider when I switched to this smaller program, but definitely something I like.
Some of my classmates have gotten internships at some places I'd love to work (Lockheed, Rolls Royce, Gulfstream, etc.). So it can definitely be done! I just have to buckle down, put my head down and power through. One more year of classes, books, and exams. One last year to do all the Purdue stuff I've put off (not that much), and then graduate. Oh, and take my A&P test *shudder*. Plus, I have got to stop paying for school and start paying down loans. That's...that's all I'm going to talk about that subject for now.
This May has been so weird. Seniors in my major are leaving, and I had just started to feel like I was getting to know them. Now I'm going to be those seniors. Another group of people (all majors, lots from the improv club and Ship of Fools, little siblings of people I started college with) graduating, some of which started schools years after I did, and now I've watched the grow up and now it's time to say goodbye. I'm extremely proud of them and happy for them, but there's a tiny bit that stings. Something about seeing them come and go, instead of being the one leaving. Seeing Facebook blow up with statuses and pictures of caps and gowns and sappy goodbyes. I have plenty of great stuff to take from my time at Purdue already, and I'm sure I will look back on my time here fondly, but right now I see a lot of frustration, wasted time and opportunity, and spinning wheels on my part. Never, never thought I'd be one of those old guy students who spent more than 4 (even 5) years to finish his undergrad degree.
UGH. Gotta push those stupid feelings away and get down to business.
5.25.2012
A Limited Window
Current Mood: I remember it!
We'd finally gotten to San Antonio, where Airman Bradley had been enlisted in the Air Force since early February. I narrowly missed seeing his graduation from Basic Training due to my class schedule and the expense of flying (I contemplated driving, what an awful idea that would have been). Then he started Tech School there, and we found out afterward he'd be leaving to go to Germany for his job! My visit to Texas for my internship happened to provide the perfect opportunity for me to see him for possibly the only time before he left!
I was so happy to see him when we finally arrived - in part because it was the end of the trip, but also because doggone it I missed him pretty bad! For a day and a half we enjoyed San Antonio - stayed in a hotel to get him off base. We ate barbeque, we swam in the hotel pool, we had some drinks, and he told us hours of stories about military life and Basic shenanigans. I really loved hearing his stories - he's got a little different demeanor after enlisting, but especially hearing him tell jokes about the little screwups and victories, it really felt like he was still my brother. He did awesome at Basic, if you're wondering - I'm super proud of him.
We toured his base - got to see the areas I'd seen in pictures where he did PT, took test, trained with his rifle, things like that. Saw the parade grounds, Airman's Run area, even some static planes on display (although when you've seen WPAFB...nothing compares!). Brad insisted that seeing his dorm buildings was no big deal, but our family has always had a thing about seeing where people live and work- I know it helps me picture that person living there and being happy. We also got go to a cool Base Exchange (BX) store and check out some military gear. The whole time Bradley shared some little bits of military lingo... I couldn't always remember it all, but I think it's super neat.
We explored San Antonio a little bit. We saw the outside of The Alamo (apparently it closes at like, 4?) and I saw enough of the plaques outside to move on. Kinda...underwhelming? Didn't help that it was sandwiched between giant skyscrapers - I felt like that detracted from the historical aspect. Anyway, we went down to the Riverwalk. I got another bent penny for my collection, and then we waited a bit to take a boat tour. The tour was great! A good mix of things to learn, like how I had completely forgotten that Miss Congeniality takes place there.
Nabbed a sweet riverside table at a mexican restaurant in part because the waiter liked Brad's Reds hat! His favorite player was Joe Morgan of the Big Red Machine. We had dinner and people watched for a bit, and we waited hours for the christmas lights strung ALL over to light up...nothing!
The end of the visit was bittersweet. Bradley and I were pretty businesslike, but mom cried a lot (as moms are both wont and allowed to do). I don't know when I'll see him next, but I bet he'll be a little more grown up and a lot more worldly!
The next day I dropped mom off at the San Antonio airport (she had an awful trip home, with delays and hours and hours of flights/airport waits - thanks for going with me, mom!) and drove 4 hours back to Dallas. After being surrounded by family for about 3 straight days, it was a lonely drive. SICK of being in the car.
My apartment check in was surprisingly smooth. I picked it completely sight unseen, working with an unknown roommate (Nick, also an intern with me) - so I'm glad it played out okay. Probably my only complaint was that I couldn't show proof of income [my internship was still 3 days from starting at this point], so the company insists on holding a massive extra deposit while I'm here. I will make enough money to cover it just fine...over the course of the 3 months I'm working! Cash flow priorities, for sure.
Moved my stuff in - place is nice, probably somewhere between my current place and our last one. Big, and especially with my meager offerings, feels very empty. Still, it's in a nice area, has central air [does any place in this heat scorched landscape not have central air?], a pool in the complex, isn't too far from work, and is close to food and groceries and stuff.
Picked up roommate from the airport on Monday with my rental car. We went to some stores and bought some essentials, but as my "you stupid idiot, how could you forget _____" list indicates, there remains some items to be had. For the most part, I've tried to lay low, beat the heat, not spend a lot of money by going out, and get ready for my internship!
We'd finally gotten to San Antonio, where Airman Bradley had been enlisted in the Air Force since early February. I narrowly missed seeing his graduation from Basic Training due to my class schedule and the expense of flying (I contemplated driving, what an awful idea that would have been). Then he started Tech School there, and we found out afterward he'd be leaving to go to Germany for his job! My visit to Texas for my internship happened to provide the perfect opportunity for me to see him for possibly the only time before he left!
I was so happy to see him when we finally arrived - in part because it was the end of the trip, but also because doggone it I missed him pretty bad! For a day and a half we enjoyed San Antonio - stayed in a hotel to get him off base. We ate barbeque, we swam in the hotel pool, we had some drinks, and he told us hours of stories about military life and Basic shenanigans. I really loved hearing his stories - he's got a little different demeanor after enlisting, but especially hearing him tell jokes about the little screwups and victories, it really felt like he was still my brother. He did awesome at Basic, if you're wondering - I'm super proud of him.
We toured his base - got to see the areas I'd seen in pictures where he did PT, took test, trained with his rifle, things like that. Saw the parade grounds, Airman's Run area, even some static planes on display (although when you've seen WPAFB...nothing compares!). Brad insisted that seeing his dorm buildings was no big deal, but our family has always had a thing about seeing where people live and work- I know it helps me picture that person living there and being happy. We also got go to a cool Base Exchange (BX) store and check out some military gear. The whole time Bradley shared some little bits of military lingo... I couldn't always remember it all, but I think it's super neat.
We explored San Antonio a little bit. We saw the outside of The Alamo (apparently it closes at like, 4?) and I saw enough of the plaques outside to move on. Kinda...underwhelming? Didn't help that it was sandwiched between giant skyscrapers - I felt like that detracted from the historical aspect. Anyway, we went down to the Riverwalk. I got another bent penny for my collection, and then we waited a bit to take a boat tour. The tour was great! A good mix of things to learn, like how I had completely forgotten that Miss Congeniality takes place there.
Nabbed a sweet riverside table at a mexican restaurant in part because the waiter liked Brad's Reds hat! His favorite player was Joe Morgan of the Big Red Machine. We had dinner and people watched for a bit, and we waited hours for the christmas lights strung ALL over to light up...nothing!
The end of the visit was bittersweet. Bradley and I were pretty businesslike, but mom cried a lot (as moms are both wont and allowed to do). I don't know when I'll see him next, but I bet he'll be a little more grown up and a lot more worldly!
The next day I dropped mom off at the San Antonio airport (she had an awful trip home, with delays and hours and hours of flights/airport waits - thanks for going with me, mom!) and drove 4 hours back to Dallas. After being surrounded by family for about 3 straight days, it was a lonely drive. SICK of being in the car.
My apartment check in was surprisingly smooth. I picked it completely sight unseen, working with an unknown roommate (Nick, also an intern with me) - so I'm glad it played out okay. Probably my only complaint was that I couldn't show proof of income [my internship was still 3 days from starting at this point], so the company insists on holding a massive extra deposit while I'm here. I will make enough money to cover it just fine...over the course of the 3 months I'm working! Cash flow priorities, for sure.
Moved my stuff in - place is nice, probably somewhere between my current place and our last one. Big, and especially with my meager offerings, feels very empty. Still, it's in a nice area, has central air [does any place in this heat scorched landscape not have central air?], a pool in the complex, isn't too far from work, and is close to food and groceries and stuff.
Picked up roommate from the airport on Monday with my rental car. We went to some stores and bought some essentials, but as my "you stupid idiot, how could you forget _____" list indicates, there remains some items to be had. For the most part, I've tried to lay low, beat the heat, not spend a lot of money by going out, and get ready for my internship!
5.24.2012
Highway Companion
Current Mood: as if there were few, if any, limitations on my current situation
A week ago today I left to drive down to Texas for my internship. I'll write more about that soon, but first I wanted to share some thoughts about my big trip to the Lone Star State.
I had originally planned to leave Wednesday morning. When I went to pick up my rental car Tuesday afternoon with my friend Taylor, the rental car company gave me all sorts of hassle - wanted a credit card not a debit card (noted), didn't like my insurance, and balked at the idea that somebody would rent a car for 91 days. Yes, guy at the counter, I need it to get there, to work, to the store, to place and people and things, and then to come home. He said if I wasn't being backed by a corporate insurer, the required insurance would almost double the price, placing the already probably out of my price range into "and monkeys might fly out of my butt" range. So...lovely.
We settled on a one week rental, enough time for me to get where I was going and then get set up, before I had to return it. Once we worked out the details and I explained my plight, the rental company actually cut me a deal, so I managed to get my car early Thursday. Taylor was once again my driver, and I had packed out what I felt was a balance between the absolute bare minimum (basically living out of a suitcase) and backups and extra things for every contingency (what if there's a chilly evening? flannel lined pants!). Had to leave room for other passengers, though.
Got a really nice silver Toyota Corolla, with about 2400 miles on it - practically a preemie for that brand. Also, air conditioning! (something Jenny and my car does not currently have). So I took off from Indy to Cincy. Stopped for some Gold Star before trailing mom to the Louisville airport, where she would later fly home to. Everything was goin' smooth, weather was great, I was good to go.
Then mom takes over the driving, and we drove to Nashville, then to Memphis. Hit some bad stretches of traffic (including one freaky stop where the other side of the highway was completely empty and a single police cruiser started driving against the flow on our side...combined with the setting sun and the scenery, was very The Walking Dead). Stopped for dinner at the Crack B, then made it all the way to just outside of Little Rock. Stopped at an okay hotel, then zonked out.
Back up again early. Continental breakfast, then we were on the road by 7:30am. Got to Texas (finally) around 10:00am. Ate Jack in the Box for the first time. By this point mom and I had basically run out of things to talk about, and we were rockin' out pretty hard to Warrant, Firehouse, Cinderella, stuff like that. Also, it wasn't boredom that got to me, it was the soreness in my back. We finally got to Dallas...and then continued on to San Antonio to see Bradley.
Austin traffic was awful. The whole drive, though, mom and I planned our stops very well - she drove fast enough that the GPS time saved "paid" for our stops, and we combined food, stretches, and gas at each break. We hit more traffic in San Antonio and I was about ready to claw my way out of the car. We finally, FINALLY got to Bradley's Air Force Base at about 5:40pm, not long after he'd gotten out of class for the day. Despite the delay at the rental car station, mom and I managed to cover 1,400 miles in about 25 driving hours (about 34 real time hours). Not bad! Not something I'm looking forward to doing again in August at the end of my internship, for sure. At least I have a few months to worry about that - plus I'd need to find another car, and maybe another driving partner.
A week ago today I left to drive down to Texas for my internship. I'll write more about that soon, but first I wanted to share some thoughts about my big trip to the Lone Star State.
I had originally planned to leave Wednesday morning. When I went to pick up my rental car Tuesday afternoon with my friend Taylor, the rental car company gave me all sorts of hassle - wanted a credit card not a debit card (noted), didn't like my insurance, and balked at the idea that somebody would rent a car for 91 days. Yes, guy at the counter, I need it to get there, to work, to the store, to place and people and things, and then to come home. He said if I wasn't being backed by a corporate insurer, the required insurance would almost double the price, placing the already probably out of my price range into "and monkeys might fly out of my butt" range. So...lovely.
We settled on a one week rental, enough time for me to get where I was going and then get set up, before I had to return it. Once we worked out the details and I explained my plight, the rental company actually cut me a deal, so I managed to get my car early Thursday. Taylor was once again my driver, and I had packed out what I felt was a balance between the absolute bare minimum (basically living out of a suitcase) and backups and extra things for every contingency (what if there's a chilly evening? flannel lined pants!). Had to leave room for other passengers, though.
Got a really nice silver Toyota Corolla, with about 2400 miles on it - practically a preemie for that brand. Also, air conditioning! (something Jenny and my car does not currently have). So I took off from Indy to Cincy. Stopped for some Gold Star before trailing mom to the Louisville airport, where she would later fly home to. Everything was goin' smooth, weather was great, I was good to go.
Then mom takes over the driving, and we drove to Nashville, then to Memphis. Hit some bad stretches of traffic (including one freaky stop where the other side of the highway was completely empty and a single police cruiser started driving against the flow on our side...combined with the setting sun and the scenery, was very The Walking Dead). Stopped for dinner at the Crack B, then made it all the way to just outside of Little Rock. Stopped at an okay hotel, then zonked out.
Back up again early. Continental breakfast, then we were on the road by 7:30am. Got to Texas (finally) around 10:00am. Ate Jack in the Box for the first time. By this point mom and I had basically run out of things to talk about, and we were rockin' out pretty hard to Warrant, Firehouse, Cinderella, stuff like that. Also, it wasn't boredom that got to me, it was the soreness in my back. We finally got to Dallas...and then continued on to San Antonio to see Bradley.
Austin traffic was awful. The whole drive, though, mom and I planned our stops very well - she drove fast enough that the GPS time saved "paid" for our stops, and we combined food, stretches, and gas at each break. We hit more traffic in San Antonio and I was about ready to claw my way out of the car. We finally, FINALLY got to Bradley's Air Force Base at about 5:40pm, not long after he'd gotten out of class for the day. Despite the delay at the rental car station, mom and I managed to cover 1,400 miles in about 25 driving hours (about 34 real time hours). Not bad! Not something I'm looking forward to doing again in August at the end of my internship, for sure. At least I have a few months to worry about that - plus I'd need to find another car, and maybe another driving partner.
1.18.2012
be careful what you wish for
Current Mood: still somewhat aghast
Yesterday afternoon I was at work. I had just completed a routine lay up (layers of composite materials put under vacuum) and was mixing the two part resin to inject into the part which would complete the process. My boss (Prof S) came up to me with what he called "bad news".
He's a pretty sarcastic, joking kind of guy so I didn't even stop what I was doing. Then he proceeded to tell me that the higher ups, the powers that be, have stopped our research project.
I laughed, and asked him what new project we'd be switching over to. That's when he told me that was it. Funding stopped, project canceled, done. Zip, zilch, bagel. Nothing to switch to, no warning, scale down, or trail off, just stop what you are doing and go home, because there's no more research to be done here. No hours to be worked or money to be made, because it's all gone.
When the job was first presented to me (about a year ago) I was told it was dependent on funding, but I thought once the semester started we'd be in the clear until probably summertime? Apparently, not. Felt like the rug was pulled out from beneath me.
I can look at this from a few different angles-
Projects in aerospace can be somewhat ephemeral. Especially small budget college research groups in a time of defense budget cuts. Even larger programs can and do get canceled, sometimes with little or no warning. Better get used to that, if this is supposed to be my field. I've never had a job vanish like that- I always quit on my terms, usually because I was moving or for school.
All that time and effort I spent re-arranging my schedule and rides to fit in 20 hours of lab work? SUDDENLY FREE TIME. My classes are getting harder, so I should have more free time to study and do group work. Still, do I fill that free time with sleep, video games, and flex time for school (I picked up extra classes this semester, so that's helpful...)
Or do I immediately look for another job? Not much at the airport now, and I don't really have transportation to get to a more normal job (cashier, waiter, etc.), even if I could find one and if they were flexible with my schedule. Last time I job searched, it was pretty bare bones (although, in a roundabout way, not having a job helped me have time to do well in school which led me to this job...)
Is it too late/do I want to try and find a class to TA? I don't particularly like teaching. I would have to TA a full semester for credit before I could get paid at some point in the future.
Those summer internships I applied/want to apply for? Here's hoping they pan out! Could/should/would I go back to summer conferences if not?
I wasn't making a TON of money, and I'm not in danger of becoming homeless or anything, but it sure was nice contributing to the finances and being able to go out to eat and buy gifts and such without worrying. So here comes the money worry (again). I just want to be done with school so I can get a job and make real money, full time.
I was getting a little burnt out at work from the work, and at the same time really starting to like my coworkers. Former problem solved, latter - well, at least I'll still see these guys around school.
In the past months, I usually had not worked the full 20 hrs/week possible, usually because I was too tired, had too many classes or studying or exams or improv or places to be to really hit that mark. And I was okay with that, again, a little bit of burnout. Now...now I'm done. Do I regret not working those hours? Would that little bit of money made a difference? Am I going to need it later? Would I have learned something in those hours? Could I have done more?
*headdesk*
Can't imagine what my life would be like right now if I was single, working a real job, and suddenly had no job for reasons beyond my control. I would be a basket case. Whole lot more respect for people out there who have to deal with this kind of crap.
Yesterday afternoon I was at work. I had just completed a routine lay up (layers of composite materials put under vacuum) and was mixing the two part resin to inject into the part which would complete the process. My boss (Prof S) came up to me with what he called "bad news".
He's a pretty sarcastic, joking kind of guy so I didn't even stop what I was doing. Then he proceeded to tell me that the higher ups, the powers that be, have stopped our research project.
I laughed, and asked him what new project we'd be switching over to. That's when he told me that was it. Funding stopped, project canceled, done. Zip, zilch, bagel. Nothing to switch to, no warning, scale down, or trail off, just stop what you are doing and go home, because there's no more research to be done here. No hours to be worked or money to be made, because it's all gone.
When the job was first presented to me (about a year ago) I was told it was dependent on funding, but I thought once the semester started we'd be in the clear until probably summertime? Apparently, not. Felt like the rug was pulled out from beneath me.
I can look at this from a few different angles-
Projects in aerospace can be somewhat ephemeral. Especially small budget college research groups in a time of defense budget cuts. Even larger programs can and do get canceled, sometimes with little or no warning. Better get used to that, if this is supposed to be my field. I've never had a job vanish like that- I always quit on my terms, usually because I was moving or for school.
All that time and effort I spent re-arranging my schedule and rides to fit in 20 hours of lab work? SUDDENLY FREE TIME. My classes are getting harder, so I should have more free time to study and do group work. Still, do I fill that free time with sleep, video games, and flex time for school (I picked up extra classes this semester, so that's helpful...)
Or do I immediately look for another job? Not much at the airport now, and I don't really have transportation to get to a more normal job (cashier, waiter, etc.), even if I could find one and if they were flexible with my schedule. Last time I job searched, it was pretty bare bones (although, in a roundabout way, not having a job helped me have time to do well in school which led me to this job...)
Is it too late/do I want to try and find a class to TA? I don't particularly like teaching. I would have to TA a full semester for credit before I could get paid at some point in the future.
Those summer internships I applied/want to apply for? Here's hoping they pan out! Could/should/would I go back to summer conferences if not?
I wasn't making a TON of money, and I'm not in danger of becoming homeless or anything, but it sure was nice contributing to the finances and being able to go out to eat and buy gifts and such without worrying. So here comes the money worry (again). I just want to be done with school so I can get a job and make real money, full time.
I was getting a little burnt out at work from the work, and at the same time really starting to like my coworkers. Former problem solved, latter - well, at least I'll still see these guys around school.
In the past months, I usually had not worked the full 20 hrs/week possible, usually because I was too tired, had too many classes or studying or exams or improv or places to be to really hit that mark. And I was okay with that, again, a little bit of burnout. Now...now I'm done. Do I regret not working those hours? Would that little bit of money made a difference? Am I going to need it later? Would I have learned something in those hours? Could I have done more?
*headdesk*
Can't imagine what my life would be like right now if I was single, working a real job, and suddenly had no job for reasons beyond my control. I would be a basket case. Whole lot more respect for people out there who have to deal with this kind of crap.
11.23.2011
worky work and the funky bunch
Current Mood: *headdesk*
Trying to take a bite out of the backlog of "one post a month" goal...
In just a few short weeks I'll have been at my research assistant job 1 full year. Yay! No more "rookie".
Things are a bit different than what I expected. When I first started I was pretty worthless, mostly cleaning the lab and doing gruntwork for the upperclassmen that already worked there. I tried to find ways to be useful, but scheduling problems and lack of access (seemed like I was the only one who didn't have a lab key?) made progress very difficult. I felt a little bit like a loner, to be honest.
Then after gritting things out for a semester, it seems like everything changed. I didn't apply for a University Residences job (breaking a 5 year streak) and instead worked full time at the lab for the summer. Most of the older students left, and three new guys (my age, sort of) joined. I knew them a bit from class, but I wasn't that close to any of them.
Summertime, we busted our asses. We gutted the lab next door, cleaned and re-tiled it, moved equipment, and painted everything. Got some funding for new machines and got some donations/expert advice from a company in Indy that does composites. Made a ton of projects and some of them were great, others crashed and burned. Working there M-F 9-5 was a different beast - much more productive but very tiring. Got to know my coworkers a lot better - we all get along quite well and don't have problems like the previous employees did, apparently (I heard there was a girl involved, and things got messy...).
From the way Professor S. talked about things when I was hired, I thought I might be doing some engineering type things, working on papers and equations. Reality? Not so much. I pretty much do the same things as everybody else, and I guess that's okay, I don't know that I would really be qualified to do composites engineering stuff right now anyway. Sometimes I get a little hesitant at work because we change what we are doing so frequently, it's hard for me to get used to a routine. Our projects are very iterative, but with small changes, and sometimes I have a hard time keeping track of it all.
Because of my class schedule I don't work as much as my supervisor and Professor S would like, and sometimes I can't tell if they're just joking with me or not about a lot of things. Also I missed the chance to TA for our composites class (the very class I took last fall that led to me getting this job), though I may be a part of an Advanced Composites class in the works next year?
At any rate, most of projects are progressing pretty well. I like my teammates a bunch, even though they're much different than me (totally guy's guys, waaay different music [dubstep??], things like that). There was talk of trying to patent one of our projects, but the fervor of that seems to have died down...
Anyway, unless something majorly unexpected happens, I should have this job next semester as well. Beyond that, well, I'd love to have an internship, something different for the summer. I'll be applying to a few places, but if not, I'll try to work there again in the summer. I don't know that composites are what I want to do for the rest of my life, but it's a big area of development for aviation so I know it'll be great for my resume when I graduate. Also I think my mechanical/shop skills have improved simply by being there, which is good too.
I am getting pretty worn down some days, though. Between class and work I'm at school pretty much from 8am to about 6 or 7pm most days, sometimes longer. I feel like I live at the airport! Now I have a bit of spending money, but the apartment is a mess and I don't have the free time I would like to relax at home. Good thing I retired from the Ship of Fools, eh?
Not a very coherent post, but for anybody trying to keep up with my life maybe that's something.
Trying to take a bite out of the backlog of "one post a month" goal...
In just a few short weeks I'll have been at my research assistant job 1 full year. Yay! No more "rookie".
Things are a bit different than what I expected. When I first started I was pretty worthless, mostly cleaning the lab and doing gruntwork for the upperclassmen that already worked there. I tried to find ways to be useful, but scheduling problems and lack of access (seemed like I was the only one who didn't have a lab key?) made progress very difficult. I felt a little bit like a loner, to be honest.
Then after gritting things out for a semester, it seems like everything changed. I didn't apply for a University Residences job (breaking a 5 year streak) and instead worked full time at the lab for the summer. Most of the older students left, and three new guys (my age, sort of) joined. I knew them a bit from class, but I wasn't that close to any of them.
Summertime, we busted our asses. We gutted the lab next door, cleaned and re-tiled it, moved equipment, and painted everything. Got some funding for new machines and got some donations/expert advice from a company in Indy that does composites. Made a ton of projects and some of them were great, others crashed and burned. Working there M-F 9-5 was a different beast - much more productive but very tiring. Got to know my coworkers a lot better - we all get along quite well and don't have problems like the previous employees did, apparently (I heard there was a girl involved, and things got messy...).
From the way Professor S. talked about things when I was hired, I thought I might be doing some engineering type things, working on papers and equations. Reality? Not so much. I pretty much do the same things as everybody else, and I guess that's okay, I don't know that I would really be qualified to do composites engineering stuff right now anyway. Sometimes I get a little hesitant at work because we change what we are doing so frequently, it's hard for me to get used to a routine. Our projects are very iterative, but with small changes, and sometimes I have a hard time keeping track of it all.
Because of my class schedule I don't work as much as my supervisor and Professor S would like, and sometimes I can't tell if they're just joking with me or not about a lot of things. Also I missed the chance to TA for our composites class (the very class I took last fall that led to me getting this job), though I may be a part of an Advanced Composites class in the works next year?
At any rate, most of projects are progressing pretty well. I like my teammates a bunch, even though they're much different than me (totally guy's guys, waaay different music [dubstep??], things like that). There was talk of trying to patent one of our projects, but the fervor of that seems to have died down...
Anyway, unless something majorly unexpected happens, I should have this job next semester as well. Beyond that, well, I'd love to have an internship, something different for the summer. I'll be applying to a few places, but if not, I'll try to work there again in the summer. I don't know that composites are what I want to do for the rest of my life, but it's a big area of development for aviation so I know it'll be great for my resume when I graduate. Also I think my mechanical/shop skills have improved simply by being there, which is good too.
I am getting pretty worn down some days, though. Between class and work I'm at school pretty much from 8am to about 6 or 7pm most days, sometimes longer. I feel like I live at the airport! Now I have a bit of spending money, but the apartment is a mess and I don't have the free time I would like to relax at home. Good thing I retired from the Ship of Fools, eh?
Not a very coherent post, but for anybody trying to keep up with my life maybe that's something.
6.26.2011
start with the corners, then fill out the border
Current Mood: waiting/anticipating
What a whirlwind week it has been. Well, weekend, really.
First off, the big news - after weeks and weeks of applications, applications, scanning and writing, more applications, and a few interviews, Jenny was offered a job on Friday. She will be teaching 2nd grade in her own classroom at a school here in town. That is pretty much the very best case scenario that either of us could have hoped for- no co-teaching, not on the other side of the state, not even moving grade levels. She likes the principal, they have a Science Club, and did I mention it is seriously close? Closer than her current school. I know she will kick ass there and I'm not an especially sunny optimistic guy but I have to believe that the two years she has spent at her old school has helped her prepare for her first year on her own. It'll probably be tough in the fall, with lots of extra time spent at the school, but we got through student teaching okay so I think we'll be okay. This school does not have the extra school hour her old one did, and it's in a different district - old school was high poverty, high mobility and lots of intervention... new school is likely to be overeager parents and professor's children, so I think things are about to be flipped upside down.
Many many thanks go to everybody who helped Jenny look for job openings everywhere, and I can't believe how awesome her old bio professor has been going to bat for her with the local administrators.
ANYWAY. Now that Jenny has a job and it's in town, we are green lights for finding a new place to live. We have to be out of current apartment in 25 days, so looking for a new place ASAP. So we're moving, losing a roommate, and moving some of Jenny's teaching things to her new room.
Wedding stuff is getting crazy. Yesterday was 4 weeks until wedding and we still have a checklist of just about 95 things to do. Take a day off work to go to the courthouse and apply for a license. Get rings, tuxes. Finalize rehearsal dinner plans. Pick songs to get to DJ. And so on. If you've been married recently, you probably know *exactly* what I'm talking about. I'm sure we'll get it all done, but geez. I'm not nervous to get married, but I'm hoping everything goes well the actual day of the wedding. WEDDING WEDDING WEDDING. Feels like that's all I talk about sometime.
We were so worried about job stuff that we'd put off really doing stuff like getting the a/c fixed in our shared car, or planning a honeymoon, so that stuff is back on now. Y'know, like we don't have enough going on...
This weekend Jenny's family threw us a cookout/bridal shower. I guess co-ed showers are becoming the norm these days but it was really great - she has a giant family and they all pitched in to get us some really nice things. My mom and grandma were the only ones who could make it, so I felt like my family was a little under-represented. But I guess in 4 weeks it will also be my family too, right?
Job stuff has settled down somewhat, which is good. I feel like I'm kinda getting into a groove, getting used to the hours and the tempo and stuff. I don't know that I've made any world-changing discoveries (yet) but I think I'm pretty consistently working through the assignments and projects my boss gives me. It's very different than working there in the summer - during the spring I was trying to grab a few hours here and there and it felt like it was hard to get anything done. Now, I have 8 hours in a row plus 4 other guys there so it's much more productive. We goof off a little bit and Fridays are mostly clean-up days, but I get along pretty okay with the other dudes. I'm pretty sure I will keep working there in the fall.
Super ready for football to start back up again. I hope the CBA talks continue in time for the offseason to get back on track.
Pretty ready for school to start in the fall, too. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. 4 more semesters. 2 years. Gonna try to find an internship for next summer, too. Building my resume up so that hopefully when I'm all done here somebody will look at me and say "that's the guy I want to design/invent/maintain/repair my airplane/rocket/spaceship". Or something like that...
What a whirlwind week it has been. Well, weekend, really.
First off, the big news - after weeks and weeks of applications, applications, scanning and writing, more applications, and a few interviews, Jenny was offered a job on Friday. She will be teaching 2nd grade in her own classroom at a school here in town. That is pretty much the very best case scenario that either of us could have hoped for- no co-teaching, not on the other side of the state, not even moving grade levels. She likes the principal, they have a Science Club, and did I mention it is seriously close? Closer than her current school. I know she will kick ass there and I'm not an especially sunny optimistic guy but I have to believe that the two years she has spent at her old school has helped her prepare for her first year on her own. It'll probably be tough in the fall, with lots of extra time spent at the school, but we got through student teaching okay so I think we'll be okay. This school does not have the extra school hour her old one did, and it's in a different district - old school was high poverty, high mobility and lots of intervention... new school is likely to be overeager parents and professor's children, so I think things are about to be flipped upside down.
Many many thanks go to everybody who helped Jenny look for job openings everywhere, and I can't believe how awesome her old bio professor has been going to bat for her with the local administrators.
ANYWAY. Now that Jenny has a job and it's in town, we are green lights for finding a new place to live. We have to be out of current apartment in 25 days, so looking for a new place ASAP. So we're moving, losing a roommate, and moving some of Jenny's teaching things to her new room.
Wedding stuff is getting crazy. Yesterday was 4 weeks until wedding and we still have a checklist of just about 95 things to do. Take a day off work to go to the courthouse and apply for a license. Get rings, tuxes. Finalize rehearsal dinner plans. Pick songs to get to DJ. And so on. If you've been married recently, you probably know *exactly* what I'm talking about. I'm sure we'll get it all done, but geez. I'm not nervous to get married, but I'm hoping everything goes well the actual day of the wedding. WEDDING WEDDING WEDDING. Feels like that's all I talk about sometime.
We were so worried about job stuff that we'd put off really doing stuff like getting the a/c fixed in our shared car, or planning a honeymoon, so that stuff is back on now. Y'know, like we don't have enough going on...
This weekend Jenny's family threw us a cookout/bridal shower. I guess co-ed showers are becoming the norm these days but it was really great - she has a giant family and they all pitched in to get us some really nice things. My mom and grandma were the only ones who could make it, so I felt like my family was a little under-represented. But I guess in 4 weeks it will also be my family too, right?
Job stuff has settled down somewhat, which is good. I feel like I'm kinda getting into a groove, getting used to the hours and the tempo and stuff. I don't know that I've made any world-changing discoveries (yet) but I think I'm pretty consistently working through the assignments and projects my boss gives me. It's very different than working there in the summer - during the spring I was trying to grab a few hours here and there and it felt like it was hard to get anything done. Now, I have 8 hours in a row plus 4 other guys there so it's much more productive. We goof off a little bit and Fridays are mostly clean-up days, but I get along pretty okay with the other dudes. I'm pretty sure I will keep working there in the fall.
Super ready for football to start back up again. I hope the CBA talks continue in time for the offseason to get back on track.
Pretty ready for school to start in the fall, too. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. 4 more semesters. 2 years. Gonna try to find an internship for next summer, too. Building my resume up so that hopefully when I'm all done here somebody will look at me and say "that's the guy I want to design/invent/maintain/repair my airplane/rocket/spaceship". Or something like that...
5.29.2011
welcome to the rest of your life
Current Mood:
I like to think I'm a pretty mature guy, pretty grown up in my actions and deeds. But the truth remains that many days I still feel like a kid. I get the feeling that might change this summer though.
Tomorrow's my 25th birthday. Now, around my mid teens my birthday started to feel like much ado about nothing, in that the day itself didn't mark any sort of significant change in my life. I never felt any older than the day before. Other than the big milestones (18, 21) nothing *really* changed and even when it did, I rarely took notice. I didn't go out on my 21st (not that I'm complaining - I just don't care that much about alcohol I guess). And tomorrow's not much different, but I'm now halfway through my 20s, and that marks me as a quarter century old. That feels pretty old to me. Not OLD old, but certainly not a kid anymore, right?
I'm about to start my 8th year of college. UGH. I'm getting "Adult Continuing Education Plans" emails in my inbox instead of "Beware the dangers of drinking". I don't stay out late and today - A Saturday of a Three Day Weekend - I got up before 8 am, voluntarily. I try to eat better and sleep regularly. Just about everybody I started school with in 2004 is graduated, dropped out, gone to grad school, has a Real Job, and/or has a family - something different than perpetual undergraddom like me.
I'm getting married in a little less than 2 months. That's a grown up thing, right? I've been with Jenny for five and half years, so long that the idea of getting married doesn't really seem like that big of a change (which is something I like, means I'm not freaking out or worried about it). We're just gonna keep on doin' our thing after tying the knot, I imagine. Still the same people you guys like, I hope. If I completely change and become a different person that sucks, tell me please? Most of the wedding details have been settled but we have more work to do... just about every weekend from now until then is booked with some kind of wedding thing so I have my summer pretty well planned out.
Last summer I "worked" "40 hours" at a "full time position" but to be honest I was in a salaried position and got my work done just fine by being in the office from about 1-4pm. I wasn't slacking, but it wasn't a very demanding job. It was pretty rad. Now? Now I WORK forty hours, Monday-Friday from 8-5 at the Composites Lab. Like clockwork. And it is exhausting. I'm not trying to say I have the worst job or anything (far from it) but I don't know how people work 60,70, or 80 hour workweeks without going crazy.
All in all, baby steps, methinks. But I get the sneaking suspicion this is a turning point in my life, and I may look back on this summer as a blurry jumbled "line" dividing something resembling adolescence/early adulthood with the next vague and uncertain stage of life (adulthood? mid-life?).
*Edit* ^ugh. that sounded really dumb, didn't it?
I like to think I'm a pretty mature guy, pretty grown up in my actions and deeds. But the truth remains that many days I still feel like a kid. I get the feeling that might change this summer though.
Tomorrow's my 25th birthday. Now, around my mid teens my birthday started to feel like much ado about nothing, in that the day itself didn't mark any sort of significant change in my life. I never felt any older than the day before. Other than the big milestones (18, 21) nothing *really* changed and even when it did, I rarely took notice. I didn't go out on my 21st (not that I'm complaining - I just don't care that much about alcohol I guess). And tomorrow's not much different, but I'm now halfway through my 20s, and that marks me as a quarter century old. That feels pretty old to me. Not OLD old, but certainly not a kid anymore, right?
I'm about to start my 8th year of college. UGH. I'm getting "Adult Continuing Education Plans" emails in my inbox instead of "Beware the dangers of drinking". I don't stay out late and today - A Saturday of a Three Day Weekend - I got up before 8 am, voluntarily. I try to eat better and sleep regularly. Just about everybody I started school with in 2004 is graduated, dropped out, gone to grad school, has a Real Job, and/or has a family - something different than perpetual undergraddom like me.
I'm getting married in a little less than 2 months. That's a grown up thing, right? I've been with Jenny for five and half years, so long that the idea of getting married doesn't really seem like that big of a change (which is something I like, means I'm not freaking out or worried about it). We're just gonna keep on doin' our thing after tying the knot, I imagine. Still the same people you guys like, I hope. If I completely change and become a different person that sucks, tell me please? Most of the wedding details have been settled but we have more work to do... just about every weekend from now until then is booked with some kind of wedding thing so I have my summer pretty well planned out.
Last summer I "worked" "40 hours" at a "full time position" but to be honest I was in a salaried position and got my work done just fine by being in the office from about 1-4pm. I wasn't slacking, but it wasn't a very demanding job. It was pretty rad. Now? Now I WORK forty hours, Monday-Friday from 8-5 at the Composites Lab. Like clockwork. And it is exhausting. I'm not trying to say I have the worst job or anything (far from it) but I don't know how people work 60,70, or 80 hour workweeks without going crazy.
All in all, baby steps, methinks. But I get the sneaking suspicion this is a turning point in my life, and I may look back on this summer as a blurry jumbled "line" dividing something resembling adolescence/early adulthood with the next vague and uncertain stage of life (adulthood? mid-life?).
*Edit* ^ugh. that sounded really dumb, didn't it?
3.11.2011
shelter from the storm
Current Mood: made it to Spring Break!
Not all is doom and gloom in the land of Ryan, despite the tone of the previous posts.
I just spoke with Professor S, and he was remarkably okay with my most recent time card being significantly deficient in hours. Almost as if he runs a lab full of student workers who regularly experience exams and projects right around spring break? So that eases some of my immediate concerns.
And I didn't even write anything about how excited I am for next semester. I will be married by then, so all the craziness of that will be done. I'll have much more experience at work, so I'm hoping things there will be relatively smooth sailing in the fall as well. Especially if things (namely funding) pan out for me to work in the composites lab in the summer as an internship from the higher up funding/govt. think tank that sponsors some of our projects - that would be great! It would be my first summer since 2005 I would not be working for University Residences (in fact I already applied but turned down an SA Billing spot with them last week - time to take the plunge!).
But maybe the most exciting thing is that I'll drop from 18 credit hours (currently) to 12. From 5 labs (currently) to 3. That means less 12 hour days, more time to fit work in without working super late most nights and weekends. Plus I think I've finally decided to retire officially from the Ship of Fools/Purdue Improv Club, which will free up a significant amount of time (though I expect some of that to be filled up again with improv if I follow through on my plan to join One Size Fits All).
So, the big stuff like where I'm going to live and how I'm going to pay for school and bills remain unanswered, but I should be less busy!
Not all is doom and gloom in the land of Ryan, despite the tone of the previous posts.
I just spoke with Professor S, and he was remarkably okay with my most recent time card being significantly deficient in hours. Almost as if he runs a lab full of student workers who regularly experience exams and projects right around spring break? So that eases some of my immediate concerns.
And I didn't even write anything about how excited I am for next semester. I will be married by then, so all the craziness of that will be done. I'll have much more experience at work, so I'm hoping things there will be relatively smooth sailing in the fall as well. Especially if things (namely funding) pan out for me to work in the composites lab in the summer as an internship from the higher up funding/govt. think tank that sponsors some of our projects - that would be great! It would be my first summer since 2005 I would not be working for University Residences (in fact I already applied but turned down an SA Billing spot with them last week - time to take the plunge!).
But maybe the most exciting thing is that I'll drop from 18 credit hours (currently) to 12. From 5 labs (currently) to 3. That means less 12 hour days, more time to fit work in without working super late most nights and weekends. Plus I think I've finally decided to retire officially from the Ship of Fools/Purdue Improv Club, which will free up a significant amount of time (though I expect some of that to be filled up again with improv if I follow through on my plan to join One Size Fits All).
So, the big stuff like where I'm going to live and how I'm going to pay for school and bills remain unanswered, but I should be less busy!
3.04.2011
Maslow was right, as always
Current Mood: ramblin' man
I don't update my blog as much as I should. And when I write "should" I mean "as much as I feel like I should" or "as much as I would like to". And when I say "like to" I guess what I really mean is that it is not as high a priority as other things, which sometimes is a pathetic excuse, but in this case I really feel like it means I am out in the world doing things and learning and working and such. Yay for me?
Part of that also is that I really can't seem to condense my thoughts enough to post something with any brevity, so I procrastinate because I don't always have the gumption or energy to write out everything I'm thinking with the level of detail it deserves, so I end up stalling and stalling until I find a chunk of time, and then I write WAY too much for the casual blog that I have...which is probably what I'll end up doing right here. Fair warning.
My self imposed goal was 1 post a month and I missed last month, so I'm aiming to finish this post and then get another one in before March is over. FYI.
So why am I so busy all the time? I think when last we talked (where'd this conversational tone come from? boy I am in a weird mood today) I was all angsty and nervous about my new job, and I'm probably going to save that for the aforementioned later post... the super short version is I'm not repairing Marine helicopters but I am working very hard, learning new things, and I have my own set of projects to work on that I will describe later.
Moving on.
Life is pretty good right now, but there are some big things looming on the horizon. There are, as of this writing, 141 days until I get married. ! My role in things so far has been pretty low key - I have my tux stuff figured out and from here on out it's mostly just a matter of wrangling up the male half of the wedding party, spending time with them, and offering to help my fiancee with... well, whatever she may need. I'm trying really hard not to be one of *those guys* who sits on his ass and assumes the woman will take care of it all - I have seen up close and personal how expensive and time consuming and exhausting and detail laden this can be, and my woman isn't even close to what you could call a Bridezilla (thank god). Suffice to say the whole engagement process has been a little different than I guess I would have imagined it would be, but I'm not complaining and things seem more or less on track so far. Okay, so maybe we're a little behind and between us we have some wonderful things to work around, but I'm sure every couple has some of that.
Bleh, I bet you are all sick of reading about that, right? What else... my apartment lease ends 1 week before we get married and I have zero idea where I'm going to live after that. I'm probably retiring from the Ship of Fools improv troupe at the end of this semester and possibly joining the adult (read: professional non collegiate) troupe across the river, One Size Fits All. Which makes me feel like crap some days because I worry about the shape of the club for the next year. What few school friends I have in town from my earlier life as a Purdue Engineering student are getting ready to finish and spread into the wind, which is bittersweet. I still have two more years (and 6 more weeks of this current semester) of school, which is great but also sucks, honestly. Can I claim Senioritis at this point? Maybe some advanced mutation?
Probably the hardest thing to deal with, though, is that my fiancee is getting RIF'd (Reduction in Force - we're not firing you, but we don't have a spot for you anymore, as I understand it) at the end of this school year. And because of state budgets, tax dollars, union arguments - a sum of political and economic crap - she also does not have a chance to teach summer school, which was experience and money we were both looking forward to. Because of previously mentioned factors, it's going to be very difficult at best to find another job for her in the local area at all, much less one that is in education, that is in a good school, full time, with benefits, where she would have her own classroom, with a principal that she feels comfortable with, with co-workers that she would get along with and befriend and develop a meaningful career (not that all of those things are present at her current job, I'm just listing some things I would like for her to have).
It's looking like *if* she can find a teaching job, it may be somewhere else in the state. Forgetting for a moment how expensive it will be to try and find two places for us to live, I'm not exactly thrilled at the idea of spending our first year as a married couple (weird to write that, ack) hours (?) apart. I mean, I would absolutely do it if that's how it worked out - I need to be here to finish school for 2 more years, and she brings home the bacon - but I'm not one of those people who hates to come home to his significant other. Quite the opposite, in fact. I really enjoy coming home after a long day of class/lab/work and collapsing onto the couch to watch TV with my fiancee.
At the end of the day, I really just try to put my head down and power through, focusing on my next lab or project or exam and do what I need to do, which is get good grades and work hard so that some day my turn will come to look for a job and hopefully earn money to pay her and other people/institutions back for believing in my going to college. And I'm just optimistic enough to hope that one day, when I've got all this stuff figured out, I will be able to look back and go "oh, remember that time when everything was scary and we were so worried?". But in the meantime, it's enough to make me more than a little nervous.
One week until spring break and a little trip home.
Three weeks until my siblings (and their significant others) come to visit to see Spamalot.
Four weeks until Opening Day.
I don't update my blog as much as I should. And when I write "should" I mean "as much as I feel like I should" or "as much as I would like to". And when I say "like to" I guess what I really mean is that it is not as high a priority as other things, which sometimes is a pathetic excuse, but in this case I really feel like it means I am out in the world doing things and learning and working and such. Yay for me?
Part of that also is that I really can't seem to condense my thoughts enough to post something with any brevity, so I procrastinate because I don't always have the gumption or energy to write out everything I'm thinking with the level of detail it deserves, so I end up stalling and stalling until I find a chunk of time, and then I write WAY too much for the casual blog that I have...which is probably what I'll end up doing right here. Fair warning.
My self imposed goal was 1 post a month and I missed last month, so I'm aiming to finish this post and then get another one in before March is over. FYI.
So why am I so busy all the time? I think when last we talked (where'd this conversational tone come from? boy I am in a weird mood today) I was all angsty and nervous about my new job, and I'm probably going to save that for the aforementioned later post... the super short version is I'm not repairing Marine helicopters but I am working very hard, learning new things, and I have my own set of projects to work on that I will describe later.
Moving on.
Life is pretty good right now, but there are some big things looming on the horizon. There are, as of this writing, 141 days until I get married. ! My role in things so far has been pretty low key - I have my tux stuff figured out and from here on out it's mostly just a matter of wrangling up the male half of the wedding party, spending time with them, and offering to help my fiancee with... well, whatever she may need. I'm trying really hard not to be one of *those guys* who sits on his ass and assumes the woman will take care of it all - I have seen up close and personal how expensive and time consuming and exhausting and detail laden this can be, and my woman isn't even close to what you could call a Bridezilla (thank god). Suffice to say the whole engagement process has been a little different than I guess I would have imagined it would be, but I'm not complaining and things seem more or less on track so far. Okay, so maybe we're a little behind and between us we have some wonderful things to work around, but I'm sure every couple has some of that.
Bleh, I bet you are all sick of reading about that, right? What else... my apartment lease ends 1 week before we get married and I have zero idea where I'm going to live after that. I'm probably retiring from the Ship of Fools improv troupe at the end of this semester and possibly joining the adult (read: professional non collegiate) troupe across the river, One Size Fits All. Which makes me feel like crap some days because I worry about the shape of the club for the next year. What few school friends I have in town from my earlier life as a Purdue Engineering student are getting ready to finish and spread into the wind, which is bittersweet. I still have two more years (and 6 more weeks of this current semester) of school, which is great but also sucks, honestly. Can I claim Senioritis at this point? Maybe some advanced mutation?
Probably the hardest thing to deal with, though, is that my fiancee is getting RIF'd (Reduction in Force - we're not firing you, but we don't have a spot for you anymore, as I understand it) at the end of this school year. And because of state budgets, tax dollars, union arguments - a sum of political and economic crap - she also does not have a chance to teach summer school, which was experience and money we were both looking forward to. Because of previously mentioned factors, it's going to be very difficult at best to find another job for her in the local area at all, much less one that is in education, that is in a good school, full time, with benefits, where she would have her own classroom, with a principal that she feels comfortable with, with co-workers that she would get along with and befriend and develop a meaningful career (not that all of those things are present at her current job, I'm just listing some things I would like for her to have).
It's looking like *if* she can find a teaching job, it may be somewhere else in the state. Forgetting for a moment how expensive it will be to try and find two places for us to live, I'm not exactly thrilled at the idea of spending our first year as a married couple (weird to write that, ack) hours (?) apart. I mean, I would absolutely do it if that's how it worked out - I need to be here to finish school for 2 more years, and she brings home the bacon - but I'm not one of those people who hates to come home to his significant other. Quite the opposite, in fact. I really enjoy coming home after a long day of class/lab/work and collapsing onto the couch to watch TV with my fiancee.
At the end of the day, I really just try to put my head down and power through, focusing on my next lab or project or exam and do what I need to do, which is get good grades and work hard so that some day my turn will come to look for a job and hopefully earn money to pay her and other people/institutions back for believing in my going to college. And I'm just optimistic enough to hope that one day, when I've got all this stuff figured out, I will be able to look back and go "oh, remember that time when everything was scary and we were so worried?". But in the meantime, it's enough to make me more than a little nervous.
One week until spring break and a little trip home.
Three weeks until my siblings (and their significant others) come to visit to see Spamalot.
Four weeks until Opening Day.
1.06.2011
in which some of my choices are beginning to bear fruit
Current Mood: it is snowing outside. WHY WAS I NOT INFORMED?
GRAH. New year, filled with the same optimism, promises, and hopes of an arbitrary day we celebrate. Anyway, I know I've been slacking when it comes to updating here but I still cling to the hope that it's something meaningful. Even though lately I've been wondering the wisdom of spending too much time cataloging and analyzing and dissecting and listing and reposting everything, especially the minutiae and mundane things that make up most of, let's face it, mine and most other's lives. That's not to say that self reflection isn't useful (far from it), but I have to think that parroting back somebody else's work (art, music, film, whatever) is not in and of itself the same as creating your own work - good bad or awful, there is some value to the process, the struggle, the desire and effort to form a thing that was not there previously, combining and synthesizing colors and patterns, sounds, movements, shapes, concepts WHATEVER into something unique and previously nonexistent.
So my brain is filled with plenty of random chaotic thoughts, neuroses, just like everybody else. Right now I'm having trouble sleeping despite trying harder than ever to stick to a routine - go to bed around 11, get up around 7 (admittedly I've been much better this break than I ever have, but still, it's getting worse with school starting back again on Monday).
I hesitated to really bring this up back when it was a nascent idea, but also on Monday I start a new job. That's right! Not long ago I wrote this huge post about my work history and how I wish it was different, and lo and behold last semester I was kicking ass in a class - in part because I've switched to an easier major, in part because I'm not an alcohol fueled freshman dumbass, in part because I actually bother to try.
At any rate, I was doing well in my composite materials class. The first exam, the professor had an open challenge: anybody who could get a perfect score he would treat to lunch. Depending on when you asked me, I would say I either managed to get most of them correctly because I studied and the rest I guessed correctly, or I managed to make that professor pay for that slice of hubris. At any rate, the scary House-ian professor made good on his deal and took me to Pizza Hut and we had a lovely sit down. I told him of my numerous years of struggle in AAE and some about my time at Purdue. He tried to tell me that was normal - after all, his top grad student spent two whole years in AAE. His jaw hit the floor when I told him it took me almost 5 years to switch. But he seemed encouraged and told me to keep up the good work, that he might have an opportunity for me at some point in the future.
I was stoked, but tried to be realistic and not get my hopes up. After all, I was the same student in AAE, just as motivated and personable, and those classes kicked my ass and those professors barely knew my name.
Fast forward to the end of last semester-
side bar, Jenny says I still have a lot of insecurity and fear left over from AAE and I'm inclined to believe... it's now January 6th, spring classes start in 4 days, grades have been out for about 2 weeks and I'm still terrified to look at them even though all indications are that I did very well in my classes
- and my prof (let's call him Prof. S) pulls me aside at the end of lab and tells me he would like to offer me a job. ! I met him with the next week for the details:
*I will be working in the Aerospace Composites Lab at Purdue under Professor S.
*I will be a Research Assistant, working on his various projects that deal with aerospace composite structures.
*His primary project is a special repair gel for Marine Corps helicopters that cures in UV light, which negates many of the expensive/time consuming/tricky requirements of standard repairs. His assistants are helping him test this material to see if it is as strong as conventional repairs.
*I will be making some pretty solid money, 20/hrs a week. The position is for spring and fall, for now.
What else to say. Like I said, I start next week. There is a good chance Prof. S has a spot for a summer internship for me, but we'll have to see how that will mesh with my summer plans for getting married. For now, I'm just happy there's a chance. This is a real Aero Job.
Of course I can't just be happy about something, or proud, or confident, and this is no exception. Prof. S and his Main Grad Student both are kind of intimidating to me. Make that very intimidating. And I did well in the class sometimes because I have already taken two classes on a computer program we used, or lab TAs helping us in lab used my part as an example, etc. Professor thinks I'm some sort of engineering math whiz, which I don't think that I am. So we'll see what sort of work I actually am asked to do.
Not to mention I hate working and schooling at the same time. I've done it before (res. hall main office) and it really sucks sometimes. And that was more like 10 hours/week in a cushy office where I could usually do homework. So here's hoping my 6 more credit hours this semester plus 20 work hours any other thing I might do don't pull down what might be my excellent grades from last semester?
So here's to next week... with cautious, footnote laden optimism?
GRAH. New year, filled with the same optimism, promises, and hopes of an arbitrary day we celebrate. Anyway, I know I've been slacking when it comes to updating here but I still cling to the hope that it's something meaningful. Even though lately I've been wondering the wisdom of spending too much time cataloging and analyzing and dissecting and listing and reposting everything, especially the minutiae and mundane things that make up most of, let's face it, mine and most other's lives. That's not to say that self reflection isn't useful (far from it), but I have to think that parroting back somebody else's work (art, music, film, whatever) is not in and of itself the same as creating your own work - good bad or awful, there is some value to the process, the struggle, the desire and effort to form a thing that was not there previously, combining and synthesizing colors and patterns, sounds, movements, shapes, concepts WHATEVER into something unique and previously nonexistent.
So my brain is filled with plenty of random chaotic thoughts, neuroses, just like everybody else. Right now I'm having trouble sleeping despite trying harder than ever to stick to a routine - go to bed around 11, get up around 7 (admittedly I've been much better this break than I ever have, but still, it's getting worse with school starting back again on Monday).
I hesitated to really bring this up back when it was a nascent idea, but also on Monday I start a new job. That's right! Not long ago I wrote this huge post about my work history and how I wish it was different, and lo and behold last semester I was kicking ass in a class - in part because I've switched to an easier major, in part because I'm not an alcohol fueled freshman dumbass, in part because I actually bother to try.
At any rate, I was doing well in my composite materials class. The first exam, the professor had an open challenge: anybody who could get a perfect score he would treat to lunch. Depending on when you asked me, I would say I either managed to get most of them correctly because I studied and the rest I guessed correctly, or I managed to make that professor pay for that slice of hubris. At any rate, the scary House-ian professor made good on his deal and took me to Pizza Hut and we had a lovely sit down. I told him of my numerous years of struggle in AAE and some about my time at Purdue. He tried to tell me that was normal - after all, his top grad student spent two whole years in AAE. His jaw hit the floor when I told him it took me almost 5 years to switch. But he seemed encouraged and told me to keep up the good work, that he might have an opportunity for me at some point in the future.
I was stoked, but tried to be realistic and not get my hopes up. After all, I was the same student in AAE, just as motivated and personable, and those classes kicked my ass and those professors barely knew my name.
Fast forward to the end of last semester-
side bar, Jenny says I still have a lot of insecurity and fear left over from AAE and I'm inclined to believe... it's now January 6th, spring classes start in 4 days, grades have been out for about 2 weeks and I'm still terrified to look at them even though all indications are that I did very well in my classes
- and my prof (let's call him Prof. S) pulls me aside at the end of lab and tells me he would like to offer me a job. ! I met him with the next week for the details:
*I will be working in the Aerospace Composites Lab at Purdue under Professor S.
*I will be a Research Assistant, working on his various projects that deal with aerospace composite structures.
*His primary project is a special repair gel for Marine Corps helicopters that cures in UV light, which negates many of the expensive/time consuming/tricky requirements of standard repairs. His assistants are helping him test this material to see if it is as strong as conventional repairs.
*I will be making some pretty solid money, 20/hrs a week. The position is for spring and fall, for now.
What else to say. Like I said, I start next week. There is a good chance Prof. S has a spot for a summer internship for me, but we'll have to see how that will mesh with my summer plans for getting married. For now, I'm just happy there's a chance. This is a real Aero Job.
Of course I can't just be happy about something, or proud, or confident, and this is no exception. Prof. S and his Main Grad Student both are kind of intimidating to me. Make that very intimidating. And I did well in the class sometimes because I have already taken two classes on a computer program we used, or lab TAs helping us in lab used my part as an example, etc. Professor thinks I'm some sort of engineering math whiz, which I don't think that I am. So we'll see what sort of work I actually am asked to do.
Not to mention I hate working and schooling at the same time. I've done it before (res. hall main office) and it really sucks sometimes. And that was more like 10 hours/week in a cushy office where I could usually do homework. So here's hoping my 6 more credit hours this semester plus 20 work hours any other thing I might do don't pull down what might be my excellent grades from last semester?
So here's to next week... with cautious, footnote laden optimism?
11.01.2010
peeling back more layers
Current Mood: killing time
another way to look at the future (see last post) is to imagine how I might end up in the real world - the one where I finally (FINALLY) graduate someday and hopefully get a job
Purdue does its job by keeping me working for that "A"
I have had some impossibly hard classes. This...helps? Nah, not really.
Outlook for my major seems pretty good
No. 2's not too shabby. Any takers on how many decades it'll take me to pay off my student loans?
Speaking of Purdue, one of our professors recently won the Nobel Prize in Chemistry
This part of the article cracked me up [one of the other winners was Richard Heck]:
I wish I could go back to some of my old chemistry classes with what I know now. I would kick so much ass... maybe I wouldn't have hated AP Chem so much.
another way to look at the future (see last post) is to imagine how I might end up in the real world - the one where I finally (FINALLY) graduate someday and hopefully get a job
Purdue does its job by keeping me working for that "A"
I have had some impossibly hard classes. This...helps? Nah, not really.
Outlook for my major seems pretty good
No. 2's not too shabby. Any takers on how many decades it'll take me to pay off my student loans?
Speaking of Purdue, one of our professors recently won the Nobel Prize in Chemistry
This part of the article cracked me up [one of the other winners was Richard Heck]:
Heck, now with the University of Delaware in the United States, developed his work on palladium as a catalyst in the 1960s and early 1970sIf you don't see it, read the first part very conversationally.
I wish I could go back to some of my old chemistry classes with what I know now. I would kick so much ass... maybe I wouldn't have hated AP Chem so much.
7.18.2010
work
Current Mood: kinda bored, actually
I think I read somewhere that the average adult has seven jobs in the course of their lifetime. If that's the case, then I think I'm stuck on number two.
Growing up I definitely did house work and yard work for family and neighbors to make a few bucks, mostly cutting grass. I also did stuff like edit reports and design word art brochures for my dad's home business, which netted a few bucks here and there.
It wasn't until high school that I had my first legit have-a-paycheck kind of Job. With a capital J. I had an interview, I learned my social security number, that sort of thing. That was when I worked in the kitchen at Mt. Washington Care Center, washing dishes and serving elderly folks. It was satisfying, in a way, for a few different reasons - it was physical and I got stronger, I ate well for free, helped me pay for my car, it was a good break from my tough AP courses, and I got a lot of satisfaction proving to everybody there that this 15 year old kid could do anything they could, and usually faster. Not to mention it was good to have some spending money, and I felt like it was the right thing to do in high school before college - I really bought into the whole Honor Society/Working Teen/Academic All Star kinda mentality hoping it would help me get into a good school. And I did, so I'm not complaining. It just seems odd to me now that I worried so much about certain things then, and now it's a totally different set of values and headaches.
That job was part time. I was mainly in school, so I worked a few weeknights and usually one weekend night. I usually ran the dinner shift, which was about 4pm to close (around 9pm). Still, I made pretty good money!
Probably the best motivation for MWCC was that that job let me afford flight lessons. I didn't finish - I got my solo and then had to stop - but boy I had a lot of fun with that. Can't wait to get back to doing that someday. Y'know, when I don't have gazillions of dollars in student loans to pay back.
My second Job was when I got to Purdue. Towards the end of my freshman year I started working at the front desk of one of the residence halls. It was pretty easy stuff - answering phones, sorting mail, alphabetizing files and putting stickers on packets. The kind of gruntwork that makes the machine that is college turn, y'know? I got some cool stuff out of it, like free magazines.
I didn't make a ton, in part because I got paid less and I was still working very much part time. It got hard to balance school and work- I could sometimes do homework while I was there, but especially when I moved out of the building the travel time got to be a pain in the butt. Most of my big expenses like books and tuition were from loans (I couldn't make that much even if I worked double full time), so my money was mostly fun money. I usually ended up working all weekend, which kinda sucked. I listened to a lot of Purdue football games on the radio.
Summer conferences could be considered my third Job, but it shares so much in common with Student Office Staff (Job 2) - same employer, mostly same locations, same bosses, that if anything it's like Job 2.5.
At any rate, I've been spending my summers working for University Residences since (...got to school fall 04, first summer home, then...) 2006. At first I was an Operations Assistant (OA) for several years, living in the buildings on my own floor mostly by myself. I went on rounds, worked the check ins and check outs like a hotel, helping the groups coming and going through our halls have a good stay. I got to know a lot of people like Purdue administrators but also some of my good friends. The pay is pretty great, plus I get food and housing on top of it all, which is probably the main reason I keep coming back. It's also pretty easy - it's considered a "part time" job, but most of the hours are just being on call, so I can hang out in my air conditioned room and play video games and get paid to do it.
Then last summer I got promoted midway through the summer to be Senior Assistant (SA) Staffing. My SA left to take a job elsewhere, and I got moved up to take her spot. I was in charge of schedules, mostly, since a lot of the work had already been done by Lisa. I was now The Guy who Took Care of Things when they Went Wrong. Still, I mostly cruised to the end of the summer and thought I'd do that again this year.
Instead, I got brought back, but as an SA Billing. This was a bit of a change of pace for me. For ones, it's definitely a full time 40 hour position. My boss is pretty good about letting me fix my hours as long as I get my work done, which is great, since I don't sleep well. I usually come in around lunchtime and stay to the end of the day, and then I have occasional weekends where I have to come in (like right now). Working for conferences for so long really gives me a step up as a Biller, since I know what's going on.
I have an office. I go there and sit at a computer and play with names and numbers. Before every conference I have to get the roster and contract details into special software (CP5). Once the group is in house I track the meals they eat from reports we get. Then the conference leaves and I get a report of all the nights they stayed, any damages or charges, and I put together a giant bill. It gets audited internally then by the conference, then I send it to some office on campus so the University gets paid (and I do mean get paid, these contracts are usually at least several thousand dollars).
I'm making a lot more now (which is SUPER nice). Enough that I can actually pay for some things like rent and loan payments. I'm One of The Guys that gets called when there is a Problem. I work (mostly) M-F 9-5, instead of 3 or 4 days a week from noon-2 then 7pm in the building until 7am with rounds at 9 and 11 or somesuch. I handle important data and get in trouble when it's not right. I don't get to manipulate my schedule to take a week and a half off like I did as an OA. It's very different.
Admittedly, it's nice not living and breathing conferences like I was as an OA, because that really got tiresome after a while. And if I'm really good and stay on top of things, I don't get in trouble or called in after hours. More money is very nice. I wish I had a car, but don't want to pay for gas, repairs, insurance, or even a car payment. For now I learn to use the bus and plan my schedule around Jenny's work, which is for now very fortunately close and conveniently located.
All of the Purdue stuff has taken me pretty much all across the residential half of campus. By the time I'm done here I probably will have worked in just about every building we have. I've been here so long that the guys I used to make fun of for being the old guys like Kyle and Scott are now asking me when I'm about to graduate, yay.
Blah blah blah old news. What about the future?
It feels like my whole life, but especially my entire school career has been aimed towards ending up in some sort of aerospace field. I was on track until like, my third year of college when everything kind of fell apart.
One summer I almost had Job 3. I got a position for a research fellowship in the Aerospace Engineering department working for a really cool professor on a UAV project. Unfortunately, I a lot of trouble with the whole balancing-work-and-school department (sensing a pattern?) and had to drop out.
That was probably the closest I've gotten to working in the field I want to be working in. Sure, I've got some kind of employment right now, which is more than some people have right now, so I'm trying not to complain. But the fact that I've switched majors and struggled a lot in school means I haven't even gotten close to getting a "career" off the ground (heh, NPI).
I didn't have a 4.0 my freshman year, so I don't have an internship or Co-Op position to get my foot in any doors. It is only recently, with my mom's new husband Scott that I even have a remote tie to the aerospace field. I just feel like a dumb college student on the outside, looking in. Somebody who hasn't graduated yet and is watching his more intelligent peers move onto grad school or get jobs doing super cool stuff. Or worse, watching somebody younger do those things (*through gritted teeth* congratulations, guys, I'm so happy for you).
It's my fault, I guess. I don't want to blame the world for the fact I'm working at Purdue this summer and probably will next summer, instead of being on some Tiger Team at NASA staying up late trying to build an air filter from socks and a flight manual to save some astronauts.
I guess I'm just feeling a little discouraged lately. I hope I can get my new major on track this fall and start steering it away from summer conferences, towards something - anything - related to airplanes and rockets. Something I can label Job 3 and be proud it's the start of my adult career, not just some thing that works because I'm still at/in school. Something that pays the bills and loans, something that starts putting together a plan for insurance, for retirement, for a car and wedding and a house and maybe even a family.
I think I read somewhere that the average adult has seven jobs in the course of their lifetime. If that's the case, then I think I'm stuck on number two.
Growing up I definitely did house work and yard work for family and neighbors to make a few bucks, mostly cutting grass. I also did stuff like edit reports and design word art brochures for my dad's home business, which netted a few bucks here and there.
It wasn't until high school that I had my first legit have-a-paycheck kind of Job. With a capital J. I had an interview, I learned my social security number, that sort of thing. That was when I worked in the kitchen at Mt. Washington Care Center, washing dishes and serving elderly folks. It was satisfying, in a way, for a few different reasons - it was physical and I got stronger, I ate well for free, helped me pay for my car, it was a good break from my tough AP courses, and I got a lot of satisfaction proving to everybody there that this 15 year old kid could do anything they could, and usually faster. Not to mention it was good to have some spending money, and I felt like it was the right thing to do in high school before college - I really bought into the whole Honor Society/Working Teen/Academic All Star kinda mentality hoping it would help me get into a good school. And I did, so I'm not complaining. It just seems odd to me now that I worried so much about certain things then, and now it's a totally different set of values and headaches.
That job was part time. I was mainly in school, so I worked a few weeknights and usually one weekend night. I usually ran the dinner shift, which was about 4pm to close (around 9pm). Still, I made pretty good money!
Probably the best motivation for MWCC was that that job let me afford flight lessons. I didn't finish - I got my solo and then had to stop - but boy I had a lot of fun with that. Can't wait to get back to doing that someday. Y'know, when I don't have gazillions of dollars in student loans to pay back.
My second Job was when I got to Purdue. Towards the end of my freshman year I started working at the front desk of one of the residence halls. It was pretty easy stuff - answering phones, sorting mail, alphabetizing files and putting stickers on packets. The kind of gruntwork that makes the machine that is college turn, y'know? I got some cool stuff out of it, like free magazines.
I didn't make a ton, in part because I got paid less and I was still working very much part time. It got hard to balance school and work- I could sometimes do homework while I was there, but especially when I moved out of the building the travel time got to be a pain in the butt. Most of my big expenses like books and tuition were from loans (I couldn't make that much even if I worked double full time), so my money was mostly fun money. I usually ended up working all weekend, which kinda sucked. I listened to a lot of Purdue football games on the radio.
Summer conferences could be considered my third Job, but it shares so much in common with Student Office Staff (Job 2) - same employer, mostly same locations, same bosses, that if anything it's like Job 2.5.
At any rate, I've been spending my summers working for University Residences since (...got to school fall 04, first summer home, then...) 2006. At first I was an Operations Assistant (OA) for several years, living in the buildings on my own floor mostly by myself. I went on rounds, worked the check ins and check outs like a hotel, helping the groups coming and going through our halls have a good stay. I got to know a lot of people like Purdue administrators but also some of my good friends. The pay is pretty great, plus I get food and housing on top of it all, which is probably the main reason I keep coming back. It's also pretty easy - it's considered a "part time" job, but most of the hours are just being on call, so I can hang out in my air conditioned room and play video games and get paid to do it.
Then last summer I got promoted midway through the summer to be Senior Assistant (SA) Staffing. My SA left to take a job elsewhere, and I got moved up to take her spot. I was in charge of schedules, mostly, since a lot of the work had already been done by Lisa. I was now The Guy who Took Care of Things when they Went Wrong. Still, I mostly cruised to the end of the summer and thought I'd do that again this year.
Instead, I got brought back, but as an SA Billing. This was a bit of a change of pace for me. For ones, it's definitely a full time 40 hour position. My boss is pretty good about letting me fix my hours as long as I get my work done, which is great, since I don't sleep well. I usually come in around lunchtime and stay to the end of the day, and then I have occasional weekends where I have to come in (like right now). Working for conferences for so long really gives me a step up as a Biller, since I know what's going on.
I have an office. I go there and sit at a computer and play with names and numbers. Before every conference I have to get the roster and contract details into special software (CP5). Once the group is in house I track the meals they eat from reports we get. Then the conference leaves and I get a report of all the nights they stayed, any damages or charges, and I put together a giant bill. It gets audited internally then by the conference, then I send it to some office on campus so the University gets paid (and I do mean get paid, these contracts are usually at least several thousand dollars).
I'm making a lot more now (which is SUPER nice). Enough that I can actually pay for some things like rent and loan payments. I'm One of The Guys that gets called when there is a Problem. I work (mostly) M-F 9-5, instead of 3 or 4 days a week from noon-2 then 7pm in the building until 7am with rounds at 9 and 11 or somesuch. I handle important data and get in trouble when it's not right. I don't get to manipulate my schedule to take a week and a half off like I did as an OA. It's very different.
Admittedly, it's nice not living and breathing conferences like I was as an OA, because that really got tiresome after a while. And if I'm really good and stay on top of things, I don't get in trouble or called in after hours. More money is very nice. I wish I had a car, but don't want to pay for gas, repairs, insurance, or even a car payment. For now I learn to use the bus and plan my schedule around Jenny's work, which is for now very fortunately close and conveniently located.
All of the Purdue stuff has taken me pretty much all across the residential half of campus. By the time I'm done here I probably will have worked in just about every building we have. I've been here so long that the guys I used to make fun of for being the old guys like Kyle and Scott are now asking me when I'm about to graduate, yay.
Blah blah blah old news. What about the future?
It feels like my whole life, but especially my entire school career has been aimed towards ending up in some sort of aerospace field. I was on track until like, my third year of college when everything kind of fell apart.
One summer I almost had Job 3. I got a position for a research fellowship in the Aerospace Engineering department working for a really cool professor on a UAV project. Unfortunately, I a lot of trouble with the whole balancing-work-and-school department (sensing a pattern?) and had to drop out.
That was probably the closest I've gotten to working in the field I want to be working in. Sure, I've got some kind of employment right now, which is more than some people have right now, so I'm trying not to complain. But the fact that I've switched majors and struggled a lot in school means I haven't even gotten close to getting a "career" off the ground (heh, NPI).
I didn't have a 4.0 my freshman year, so I don't have an internship or Co-Op position to get my foot in any doors. It is only recently, with my mom's new husband Scott that I even have a remote tie to the aerospace field. I just feel like a dumb college student on the outside, looking in. Somebody who hasn't graduated yet and is watching his more intelligent peers move onto grad school or get jobs doing super cool stuff. Or worse, watching somebody younger do those things (*through gritted teeth* congratulations, guys, I'm so happy for you).
It's my fault, I guess. I don't want to blame the world for the fact I'm working at Purdue this summer and probably will next summer, instead of being on some Tiger Team at NASA staying up late trying to build an air filter from socks and a flight manual to save some astronauts.
I guess I'm just feeling a little discouraged lately. I hope I can get my new major on track this fall and start steering it away from summer conferences, towards something - anything - related to airplanes and rockets. Something I can label Job 3 and be proud it's the start of my adult career, not just some thing that works because I'm still at/in school. Something that pays the bills and loans, something that starts putting together a plan for insurance, for retirement, for a car and wedding and a house and maybe even a family.
8.14.2009
the death of a dream
Current Mood: conflicted
By the time late August rolls around I'll be back in classes at Purdue University. Why is this particularly noteworthy? Well, I suppose in the grand scheme of things, it really isn't. Thousands of people go to classes every fall at schools all around the world, and I'm just a pretty normal guy.
Those that know me a little better might be saying "but Ryan, haven't you been at Purdue for a while? aren't you about finished?" And those people would be on to something.
What is different this time is that this year, I'm going to have a different major.
I'll let that sink in for a moment.
I've always prided myself on being that guy that doesn't change his major or hasn't changed it. Never even considered it, because I've always had this laser focus about my life, my career, my dreams. I've always thought I knew exactly what I wanted, it was just a question of going out and getting it, and for me, that included a stop here and a degree in aerospace engineering.
Well, life is funny sometimes. Sometimes you want one thing but really also you want another. Or things work out in a way that maybe you don't quite want the first thing so much. Or you find out that the work it takes to get to a thing is slowly grinding away at you. And so on.
The result is, after much deliberation, counseling, soul searching, research, and thought, I've decided to make a change.
I'm switching majors. This won't be easy, this already hasn't been the smoothest transition, and I constantly wonder if I'm doing the right thing. But the die have been cast, I've already done the paperwork - things are moving forward.
I've gone from Aerospace Engineering to ... Aerospace Engineering Technology.
I suppose to a lot of people it seems like I've just added a word. And in some sense, they would be right - it's not that large of a change. Certainly I'm not moving from AAE to, say, Underwater Basket Weaving or anything. It's a move from one specialized field to a slightly less specific, very, very related field. To a casual observer, it's largely the same. And that is part of what is attractive to me about it and why I've changed to it.
But there are some changes. One of the biggest ones is a shift from mathematics and theory (engineering) to hands on work and testing (technology). This means I'm more or less finished taking math courses (having finally [barely] passed differential equations I), and will instead be taking more courses out at the airport testing and working on airplanes, physically.
I can't tell you how excited that makes me.
What else. Hrm. New major has similar courses, professors, subjects. Similar starting salaries, and almost all students from both can be employed by the same companies (if anything, new major has more options). It's a smaller program, so I get more interaction with professors (and hopefully can parlay that into more opportunities for internships, projects, and ultimately, job prospects). That last bit is perhaps one of the most important - I'm learning more and more it's not what you know but who you know.
It could be a lot worse. I love Purdue, and I know this world like the back of my hand. I'm moving back down to some Freshman/Sophomore classes, and that should be easier. It'll (hopefully) boost my gpa and confidence. I'm in a rock solid relationship and have a lot of great things and people around here to help.
Two major downsides that I can see. For one, not a lot of my old courses transfer, and there are a lot of prerequisite courses to take, and a lot of courses for this major are only offered certain semesters. When this is taken all together, it brings me backwards in terms of student status.
In short, I'm going to be here a few more years at least.
This is partially mitigated by some good news. Since I've been here so long, and worked here so much, I'm now officially an "in state" resident. FINALLY! My yearly cost has gone from about 33,000 dollars to about 7,000. Nice. That takes just a little bite out of an enormous worry and debt I carry.
The second one is a lot harder to describe. Outside in the real world, nobody really cares much about college. It's just like when you're in college, nobody cares about high school. So it shouldn't really bother me the name change, especially when everything else lines up so well. But while I'm here, living and breathing school in the big bubble that is our self-contained city, your major is who you are. Especially for engineers. It's an identity, bragging rights, and a way of life all neatly contained in a single one or two word phrase. You're an Aero, or Ag, or NukeE, or Double E, or ChemE, or some other abbreviation. And it says it all. You've got your spot in the pecking order, on the pyramid, and there's a weird unspoken sort of hierarchy, respect, and at the same time pity, for those at the top.
And now I'm moving from one of the top spots in engineering to a different pyramid altogether. I don't care how you slice it, it still feels like a step down. Like I'm lowering expectations. Like I'm giving in, giving up, chickening out, whatever you want to label it, I'm feeling it.
I try to cover it up with platitudes, tell people things like "I think it's a better fit" and "I think I will get more enjoyment out of my schooling this way" and to some extent those are true, but that doesn't change the fact that I've mired and languished in this mental gauntlet for 5 years. True, I've made it farther than a lot of people I've known - people who've cracked and broken down, transferred, failed out, or quit. But it doesn't change that feeling that I've failed.
Yes, I know, there's plenty to be enjoyed and learned in the journey, and there has been and I have (some would argue the journey is the point, but that's for another time). But what I came here to do was get a degree in AAE and now I can't. That's the bottom line. I've had a lot of fun, made some amazing friends, grown so much as a person - conquered some of my stage fright, become a performer, shed some of my insecurity and uptight live-by-grades nature, things like that, but it still hurts. I feel like an academic failure, a moron, an idiot. Never mind how I would or do stack up in that mythical "real world" - it's too far away and I can't help but compare myself to the best and the brightest I started school with, live amongst, and now see graduating, working, and doing great things.
And I do mean great things. Former roommate helps run a nuclear powerplant. Another friend designs engines for the Navy. Another interns at NASA as I type this. I'm happy for them, impressed - but jealous. Which makes me feel even worse, because I am unwilling to concede anything to any disadvantage that life has thrown at me (things that other people could and do) like health problems or money or whatever - and I know that these people I admire almost certainly deserve the accolades and accomplishments they've built from countless hours studying and learning. Good old fashioned work.
But ultimately it comes back to me, and I couldn't/can't do it. I'm done. I'm tired. Last few semesters I've bounced around in engineering desperately trying to pass the mid-tiered mathematics and no matter how much I love the major, the 4th time you retake DiffEq, you have to get smart to what's going on. I'm unwilling to throw everything else (relationships, extracurriculars, what little free time and fun that I do have) away just to become a robot who lives in the basement of a building and orders Jimmy John's 6 nights a week and doesn't shower so he doesn't have to leave the building. I'm sick and tired of dreading going to class, because I'm afraid of trying to sit through one more lecture where I have no fucking clue what is going on. Sick of pretending I'm okay when in reality, I'm lost. I'm struggling. I never had a class in engineering that I just *got* right away. Most of the time I was average at best, and when you finish an exam and have only answered 1/3 of the problems and the others are left blank, you come home and want to cry, and the only reason you pass is because there's a curve and you get a C if you can get a 40% - well, it doesn't take much of that for you to start questioning things. I've done that for four years now, and I want out.
It's not fun anymore, no matter how much I pretend it is. I need a change. I feel like I'm well past the point where people are saying "of course it's not going to be fun all the time, it's engineering and it takes a lot of work." The thrill and enjoyment I get out of problem solving and learning has been replaced with dread and confusion.
Not to mention the fact that I want to do big things in engineering - and I honestly can say I've had days or weeks or months - where I wouldn't want to hire myself. I would not always trust myself to work on something that people need to rely on. There's a joke amongst professionals, something to the effect of "a doctor buries his mistakes, but an architect can hide his with ivy". Well, there's an extra bit to some engineers, and it goes "but an engineer can't hide his mistakes." Meaning when an engineer fails, bridges break. Spectacularly. Space ships explode. Spectacularly. Hundreds of millions of products have a defect, and cost billions. Basically, I want to feel like not only an engineer, but a good one. Right now, I'm not feeling that. So I want a change, something I feel competent at again. I miss that feeling.
If you can believe it, though, that's not the worst thing. For me, anyway.
Ever since I was a little kid and went to Space Camp, I've wanted to be an astronaut. That's nothing new, if you've spent 10 minutes with me that's probably something you've learned, and it's fairly obvious when you know me. That's why I'm here, that's why I'm writing this.
And to be perfectly honest, I never actually thought I would ever get to be an astronaut. Any more than I could be a fighter pilot or an NFL quarterback, it's just not in the cards. I'm not a flawless physical specimen (eyes, spine, feet, pick your poison), I'm not a gifted mental wiz (I'm smart, but seriously, these guys are incredible).
I guess I always knew in my heart it was a billion to one shot, but I always clinged (clung?) to the thought that I could be like Neil Armstrong, a little Ohio kid who grows up, is an Aero from Purdue, then goes into space (much less a world class test pilot, lecturer, musician, professor, engineer, farmer, ambassador, oh, and that little thing he did that marked a change in the very human race).
I always thought that wishing, trying, telling people I wanted to be an astronaut, no matter how crazy or far-fetched, was the right thing. It could happen? And in doing so, I would always push myself to the limit, to always do and be my very best. To never back down from what I thought was the right thing, including doing things like going to one of the top 5 engineeering schools in the country, going into crazy amounts of debt, and trying like hell to swim in this ocean of smart people they call Purdue, just on the off chance I might make it.
Basically, I might not make it as a NASA astronaut, but I could try, and I think I'd be pretty happy if I got close. Even if I didn't get close, I would've tried my best, and hopefully that would always push me to be my best.
Well, one of the requirements to be an astronaut is a college degree. Specifically one from science, mathematics, or engineering. Not technology. So unless I somehow get an advanced degree in one of those fields (unlikely, seeing as how they'll probably be harder than the undergrad one I couldn't finish), or the requirments are changed, this switch of majors is Officially the Death of that Dream. Even though I never really thought it would happen, being an astronaut is no longer even an option.
I can console myself with all sorts of terrestrial activities all I want, and I'm sure with the development of commercialized private spaceflight there'll always be a chance I could buy my way into space, but for right now it feels like I'm officially, without question, stuck here on earth.
For a kid that's been looking up his entire life, that's a tough reality to face.
By the time late August rolls around I'll be back in classes at Purdue University. Why is this particularly noteworthy? Well, I suppose in the grand scheme of things, it really isn't. Thousands of people go to classes every fall at schools all around the world, and I'm just a pretty normal guy.
Those that know me a little better might be saying "but Ryan, haven't you been at Purdue for a while? aren't you about finished?" And those people would be on to something.
What is different this time is that this year, I'm going to have a different major.
I'll let that sink in for a moment.
I've always prided myself on being that guy that doesn't change his major or hasn't changed it. Never even considered it, because I've always had this laser focus about my life, my career, my dreams. I've always thought I knew exactly what I wanted, it was just a question of going out and getting it, and for me, that included a stop here and a degree in aerospace engineering.
Well, life is funny sometimes. Sometimes you want one thing but really also you want another. Or things work out in a way that maybe you don't quite want the first thing so much. Or you find out that the work it takes to get to a thing is slowly grinding away at you. And so on.
The result is, after much deliberation, counseling, soul searching, research, and thought, I've decided to make a change.
I'm switching majors. This won't be easy, this already hasn't been the smoothest transition, and I constantly wonder if I'm doing the right thing. But the die have been cast, I've already done the paperwork - things are moving forward.
I've gone from Aerospace Engineering to ... Aerospace Engineering Technology.
I suppose to a lot of people it seems like I've just added a word. And in some sense, they would be right - it's not that large of a change. Certainly I'm not moving from AAE to, say, Underwater Basket Weaving or anything. It's a move from one specialized field to a slightly less specific, very, very related field. To a casual observer, it's largely the same. And that is part of what is attractive to me about it and why I've changed to it.
But there are some changes. One of the biggest ones is a shift from mathematics and theory (engineering) to hands on work and testing (technology). This means I'm more or less finished taking math courses (having finally [barely] passed differential equations I), and will instead be taking more courses out at the airport testing and working on airplanes, physically.
I can't tell you how excited that makes me.
What else. Hrm. New major has similar courses, professors, subjects. Similar starting salaries, and almost all students from both can be employed by the same companies (if anything, new major has more options). It's a smaller program, so I get more interaction with professors (and hopefully can parlay that into more opportunities for internships, projects, and ultimately, job prospects). That last bit is perhaps one of the most important - I'm learning more and more it's not what you know but who you know.
It could be a lot worse. I love Purdue, and I know this world like the back of my hand. I'm moving back down to some Freshman/Sophomore classes, and that should be easier. It'll (hopefully) boost my gpa and confidence. I'm in a rock solid relationship and have a lot of great things and people around here to help.
Two major downsides that I can see. For one, not a lot of my old courses transfer, and there are a lot of prerequisite courses to take, and a lot of courses for this major are only offered certain semesters. When this is taken all together, it brings me backwards in terms of student status.
In short, I'm going to be here a few more years at least.
This is partially mitigated by some good news. Since I've been here so long, and worked here so much, I'm now officially an "in state" resident. FINALLY! My yearly cost has gone from about 33,000 dollars to about 7,000. Nice. That takes just a little bite out of an enormous worry and debt I carry.
The second one is a lot harder to describe. Outside in the real world, nobody really cares much about college. It's just like when you're in college, nobody cares about high school. So it shouldn't really bother me the name change, especially when everything else lines up so well. But while I'm here, living and breathing school in the big bubble that is our self-contained city, your major is who you are. Especially for engineers. It's an identity, bragging rights, and a way of life all neatly contained in a single one or two word phrase. You're an Aero, or Ag, or NukeE, or Double E, or ChemE, or some other abbreviation. And it says it all. You've got your spot in the pecking order, on the pyramid, and there's a weird unspoken sort of hierarchy, respect, and at the same time pity, for those at the top.
And now I'm moving from one of the top spots in engineering to a different pyramid altogether. I don't care how you slice it, it still feels like a step down. Like I'm lowering expectations. Like I'm giving in, giving up, chickening out, whatever you want to label it, I'm feeling it.
I try to cover it up with platitudes, tell people things like "I think it's a better fit" and "I think I will get more enjoyment out of my schooling this way" and to some extent those are true, but that doesn't change the fact that I've mired and languished in this mental gauntlet for 5 years. True, I've made it farther than a lot of people I've known - people who've cracked and broken down, transferred, failed out, or quit. But it doesn't change that feeling that I've failed.
Yes, I know, there's plenty to be enjoyed and learned in the journey, and there has been and I have (some would argue the journey is the point, but that's for another time). But what I came here to do was get a degree in AAE and now I can't. That's the bottom line. I've had a lot of fun, made some amazing friends, grown so much as a person - conquered some of my stage fright, become a performer, shed some of my insecurity and uptight live-by-grades nature, things like that, but it still hurts. I feel like an academic failure, a moron, an idiot. Never mind how I would or do stack up in that mythical "real world" - it's too far away and I can't help but compare myself to the best and the brightest I started school with, live amongst, and now see graduating, working, and doing great things.
And I do mean great things. Former roommate helps run a nuclear powerplant. Another friend designs engines for the Navy. Another interns at NASA as I type this. I'm happy for them, impressed - but jealous. Which makes me feel even worse, because I am unwilling to concede anything to any disadvantage that life has thrown at me (things that other people could and do) like health problems or money or whatever - and I know that these people I admire almost certainly deserve the accolades and accomplishments they've built from countless hours studying and learning. Good old fashioned work.
But ultimately it comes back to me, and I couldn't/can't do it. I'm done. I'm tired. Last few semesters I've bounced around in engineering desperately trying to pass the mid-tiered mathematics and no matter how much I love the major, the 4th time you retake DiffEq, you have to get smart to what's going on. I'm unwilling to throw everything else (relationships, extracurriculars, what little free time and fun that I do have) away just to become a robot who lives in the basement of a building and orders Jimmy John's 6 nights a week and doesn't shower so he doesn't have to leave the building. I'm sick and tired of dreading going to class, because I'm afraid of trying to sit through one more lecture where I have no fucking clue what is going on. Sick of pretending I'm okay when in reality, I'm lost. I'm struggling. I never had a class in engineering that I just *got* right away. Most of the time I was average at best, and when you finish an exam and have only answered 1/3 of the problems and the others are left blank, you come home and want to cry, and the only reason you pass is because there's a curve and you get a C if you can get a 40% - well, it doesn't take much of that for you to start questioning things. I've done that for four years now, and I want out.
It's not fun anymore, no matter how much I pretend it is. I need a change. I feel like I'm well past the point where people are saying "of course it's not going to be fun all the time, it's engineering and it takes a lot of work." The thrill and enjoyment I get out of problem solving and learning has been replaced with dread and confusion.
Not to mention the fact that I want to do big things in engineering - and I honestly can say I've had days or weeks or months - where I wouldn't want to hire myself. I would not always trust myself to work on something that people need to rely on. There's a joke amongst professionals, something to the effect of "a doctor buries his mistakes, but an architect can hide his with ivy". Well, there's an extra bit to some engineers, and it goes "but an engineer can't hide his mistakes." Meaning when an engineer fails, bridges break. Spectacularly. Space ships explode. Spectacularly. Hundreds of millions of products have a defect, and cost billions. Basically, I want to feel like not only an engineer, but a good one. Right now, I'm not feeling that. So I want a change, something I feel competent at again. I miss that feeling.
If you can believe it, though, that's not the worst thing. For me, anyway.
Ever since I was a little kid and went to Space Camp, I've wanted to be an astronaut. That's nothing new, if you've spent 10 minutes with me that's probably something you've learned, and it's fairly obvious when you know me. That's why I'm here, that's why I'm writing this.
And to be perfectly honest, I never actually thought I would ever get to be an astronaut. Any more than I could be a fighter pilot or an NFL quarterback, it's just not in the cards. I'm not a flawless physical specimen (eyes, spine, feet, pick your poison), I'm not a gifted mental wiz (I'm smart, but seriously, these guys are incredible).
I guess I always knew in my heart it was a billion to one shot, but I always clinged (clung?) to the thought that I could be like Neil Armstrong, a little Ohio kid who grows up, is an Aero from Purdue, then goes into space (much less a world class test pilot, lecturer, musician, professor, engineer, farmer, ambassador, oh, and that little thing he did that marked a change in the very human race).
I always thought that wishing, trying, telling people I wanted to be an astronaut, no matter how crazy or far-fetched, was the right thing. It could happen? And in doing so, I would always push myself to the limit, to always do and be my very best. To never back down from what I thought was the right thing, including doing things like going to one of the top 5 engineeering schools in the country, going into crazy amounts of debt, and trying like hell to swim in this ocean of smart people they call Purdue, just on the off chance I might make it.
Basically, I might not make it as a NASA astronaut, but I could try, and I think I'd be pretty happy if I got close. Even if I didn't get close, I would've tried my best, and hopefully that would always push me to be my best.
Well, one of the requirements to be an astronaut is a college degree. Specifically one from science, mathematics, or engineering. Not technology. So unless I somehow get an advanced degree in one of those fields (unlikely, seeing as how they'll probably be harder than the undergrad one I couldn't finish), or the requirments are changed, this switch of majors is Officially the Death of that Dream. Even though I never really thought it would happen, being an astronaut is no longer even an option.
I can console myself with all sorts of terrestrial activities all I want, and I'm sure with the development of commercialized private spaceflight there'll always be a chance I could buy my way into space, but for right now it feels like I'm officially, without question, stuck here on earth.
For a kid that's been looking up his entire life, that's a tough reality to face.
7.06.2009
Limited Time Offer
Current Mood: productive
After 4 straight summers of being an Operations Assistant for Purdue University Residences Conference Services, I've been promoted to Senior Assistant (Staffing) at Earhart Hall.
My former supervisor, Lisa, was hired on as SA for this summer under the arrangement that she'd be leaving July 5th to take a job at Washington State to be a new Residence Live Manager (Purdue's term) there. Originally, the Earhart Hall general manager (Ken) had ok'd the arrangement, thinking he'd shift Lisa's duties for the remainder of the summer (about 5 weeks) to the other SA (Billing) - Tony.
Once the summer got underway, however, it became apparent that things would get pretty hairy if Tony was to take on all that responsibility. The higher ups at the Conferences Division decided to ask somebody to step in as acting SA for the rest of the summer to help out.
Conferences wanted a nomination, and both Lisa and Tony suggested me, after reviewing my experience and job performance so far. Ken was supposed to approve it, but when this happened he was on vacation, so the decision was moved farther up the chain. The women in charge of all of the conferences know who I am (I've worked there for 4 years, remember?) and unanimously approved the move. Bam.
So within the span of a week, I became interim SA, and just today, started my first official day on my own as supervisor. !
I still do everything I was doing as an OA - have duty nights, go on rounds, work the office, help set up and take down various hall functions, give tours for incoming freshmen, and work the check-ins and check-outs for the various conferences that stay at our hall.
In addition, I now am in charge of more. The biggest responsibility is scheduling - I handle the schedule for 7 OAs and myself for the rest of the summer. I also am in charge of the details for every check in and check out, mainly organizing and setting up the key packets for every guest we have. I'm also supposed to be the go-to guy for any problem that comes up - stuck keys, broken elevators, basement floods, fire alarms, angry/sad/lost guests, noise complaints, late workers, and pretty much anything else that may happen. I post signs and door tags, run orientation meetings for conferences, and attend some meetings regarding large scale issues and changes for conferences.
I've moved from part time (20 hrs/week, plus about 10 hrs/week giving tours) to full time (40 hrs/week). I also get a pretty hefty raise, which is *really* nice. The workload varies a lot week-to-week, though.
Some days are easy. I have the schedule done, no conferences are coming or going, and all of my staff does their jobs and everything hums along perfectly.
Other days I'm running around the building trying to find somebody with the training or clearance to fix something I can't, or find something I wasn't quite told where to find, or something like that. So there's quite a lot of on-the job training.
But it's not like I'm completely helpless. The other SA on staff helps out a lot, the hall GM is around most of the time to help, and I've been an OA for several summers before. I'm pretty well versed in customer service, having worked the main desk at Hillenbrand Hall for a few years, and before that I worked in a kitchen at a nursing home. Plus I've been at school for a while, so I know the answers to most Purdue questions like the back of my hand.
It's the first time I've really moved beyond the entry level at a job before, and I feel very proud. This isn't what I have in mind for a lifelong career, but it still feels good. My boss(es) seemed very pleased I was able to step up and have a lot of faith and trust in my abilities and reliability.
I had actually missed the application process to do this job from the start of the summer, so in some way this feels like a second chance. Hopefully this promotion will be a stepping stone to do it again next year.
I remember when I was a little kid, when my dad would sit at the kitchen table with a ruler and a yellow legal pad, crankin' some tunes, working on his schedule. We (siblings) always joked about how dad would completely tune everything else out while he was working on the schedule - we would have to climb up into his lap just to talk to him. Both my parents have been and currently are managers in very stressful, customer-service oriented fields, and I feel like I have a tiny bit more understanding of what that takes.
I hope I can make them proud.
After 4 straight summers of being an Operations Assistant for Purdue University Residences Conference Services, I've been promoted to Senior Assistant (Staffing) at Earhart Hall.
My former supervisor, Lisa, was hired on as SA for this summer under the arrangement that she'd be leaving July 5th to take a job at Washington State to be a new Residence Live Manager (Purdue's term) there. Originally, the Earhart Hall general manager (Ken) had ok'd the arrangement, thinking he'd shift Lisa's duties for the remainder of the summer (about 5 weeks) to the other SA (Billing) - Tony.
Once the summer got underway, however, it became apparent that things would get pretty hairy if Tony was to take on all that responsibility. The higher ups at the Conferences Division decided to ask somebody to step in as acting SA for the rest of the summer to help out.
Conferences wanted a nomination, and both Lisa and Tony suggested me, after reviewing my experience and job performance so far. Ken was supposed to approve it, but when this happened he was on vacation, so the decision was moved farther up the chain. The women in charge of all of the conferences know who I am (I've worked there for 4 years, remember?) and unanimously approved the move. Bam.
So within the span of a week, I became interim SA, and just today, started my first official day on my own as supervisor. !
I still do everything I was doing as an OA - have duty nights, go on rounds, work the office, help set up and take down various hall functions, give tours for incoming freshmen, and work the check-ins and check-outs for the various conferences that stay at our hall.
In addition, I now am in charge of more. The biggest responsibility is scheduling - I handle the schedule for 7 OAs and myself for the rest of the summer. I also am in charge of the details for every check in and check out, mainly organizing and setting up the key packets for every guest we have. I'm also supposed to be the go-to guy for any problem that comes up - stuck keys, broken elevators, basement floods, fire alarms, angry/sad/lost guests, noise complaints, late workers, and pretty much anything else that may happen. I post signs and door tags, run orientation meetings for conferences, and attend some meetings regarding large scale issues and changes for conferences.
I've moved from part time (20 hrs/week, plus about 10 hrs/week giving tours) to full time (40 hrs/week). I also get a pretty hefty raise, which is *really* nice. The workload varies a lot week-to-week, though.
Some days are easy. I have the schedule done, no conferences are coming or going, and all of my staff does their jobs and everything hums along perfectly.
Other days I'm running around the building trying to find somebody with the training or clearance to fix something I can't, or find something I wasn't quite told where to find, or something like that. So there's quite a lot of on-the job training.
But it's not like I'm completely helpless. The other SA on staff helps out a lot, the hall GM is around most of the time to help, and I've been an OA for several summers before. I'm pretty well versed in customer service, having worked the main desk at Hillenbrand Hall for a few years, and before that I worked in a kitchen at a nursing home. Plus I've been at school for a while, so I know the answers to most Purdue questions like the back of my hand.
It's the first time I've really moved beyond the entry level at a job before, and I feel very proud. This isn't what I have in mind for a lifelong career, but it still feels good. My boss(es) seemed very pleased I was able to step up and have a lot of faith and trust in my abilities and reliability.
I had actually missed the application process to do this job from the start of the summer, so in some way this feels like a second chance. Hopefully this promotion will be a stepping stone to do it again next year.
I remember when I was a little kid, when my dad would sit at the kitchen table with a ruler and a yellow legal pad, crankin' some tunes, working on his schedule. We (siblings) always joked about how dad would completely tune everything else out while he was working on the schedule - we would have to climb up into his lap just to talk to him. Both my parents have been and currently are managers in very stressful, customer-service oriented fields, and I feel like I have a tiny bit more understanding of what that takes.
I hope I can make them proud.
3.16.2009
source material
Current Mood: peeved
Growing up I was always a Nintendo kid - NES, SNES, Gameboy, Gamecube, and later Wii were the only systems I ever played at home. It wasn't until I got to college (or visited a friend) that I was exposed to Playstations or XBoxes and the like. I never really played a wide variety of computer games, either, since the family computer really couldn't handle them and I didn't get my own computer until college - the one I'm typing on right now. Still, I watched movies and cartoons based on video game franchises, ate cereal with video game shaped bits, and bought video game toys - and those sorts of things had less company loyalty, or at least smaller entry fees.
Still, I was surprised that I recognized so many of these - The Video Game Periodic Chart . How many do you know?
Growing up I was always a Nintendo kid - NES, SNES, Gameboy, Gamecube, and later Wii were the only systems I ever played at home. It wasn't until I got to college (or visited a friend) that I was exposed to Playstations or XBoxes and the like. I never really played a wide variety of computer games, either, since the family computer really couldn't handle them and I didn't get my own computer until college - the one I'm typing on right now. Still, I watched movies and cartoons based on video game franchises, ate cereal with video game shaped bits, and bought video game toys - and those sorts of things had less company loyalty, or at least smaller entry fees.
Still, I was surprised that I recognized so many of these - The Video Game Periodic Chart . How many do you know?
9.04.2008
accelerated
Current Mood: behind
MAN school caught up with me quick.
I'll spare you all the play-by-play of each day, but here's the summary:
MA 266 (differential equations) - again
AAE 301 (signals and systems analysis)
AAE 352 (structures II)
AAE 352 lab
CGT 226 (computer modeling - part modeling and advanced surface design)
13 credit hours.
Same old, same old, really. Difficult classes, I feel like I'm in over my head, the math involved blows my mind. I feel really...sluggish getting used to the routine, the workload, etc. Not crazy about trying to pass DE again, but what am I gonna do? Worried about student loans. Of course it wouldn't be a semester at Purdue for Ryan without problems with scheduling, registration, and student loan acceptance. a;sljdf;aljdf
On a scale of 1-1o, with 1 being Ferris Bueller's Day Off and 10 being Alexander's Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day, my schedule looks like:
Monday: 6
Tuesday: 4
Wednesday: 9 (5 classes spanning 7:30am to 5:30pm)
Thursday: 2
Friday: 7
A lot of my aero professors are downright crazy, but it's balanced by a generous amount of oh my god these guys are so smart. I also regret letting all my knowledge of CATIA atrophy over several years since CGT 163.
New apartment is nice, even though I kinda hate trekking up Chauncey Hill. Especially 3x a week at 7 in the morning. I am not used to early classes like this!
Improv is good. I've already seen a lot of familiar old faces, and it looks like we've got a good recruiting class, which couldn't come at a better time for us.
Several job fairs are coming up next week and I suppose it's high time for me to buckle down and try to seriously get myself out there and find some sort of internship for next year. If nothing else I do not want to work for university residences again (not that it is a bad job, I just don't think I can do it again). Side thought...the longest I've had any job so far was about 3 years and each time I started to get pretty stir crazy. I hope that if/when I get into my preferred "field"I will be more content and won't feel the need to jump around so much.
Lastly, Andy Ober gave Jenny and I some last minute freebies to go see another preseason game - Bengals @ Colts a week ago. So we got to see Lucas Oil Stadium up close and personal, and the Bengals won (something I am worried about not celebrating a lot in the coming months). That said, my new favorite Bengal is Corey Lynch - not just because he makes a great impact on our D, but he's also a rookie from Appalachian State. Which means he was part of the David team that brought down Michigan last year at the Big House, apparently starting a tradition.
:D Football season!
MAN school caught up with me quick.
I'll spare you all the play-by-play of each day, but here's the summary:
MA 266 (differential equations) - again
AAE 301 (signals and systems analysis)
AAE 352 (structures II)
AAE 352 lab
CGT 226 (computer modeling - part modeling and advanced surface design)
13 credit hours.
Same old, same old, really. Difficult classes, I feel like I'm in over my head, the math involved blows my mind. I feel really...sluggish getting used to the routine, the workload, etc. Not crazy about trying to pass DE again, but what am I gonna do? Worried about student loans. Of course it wouldn't be a semester at Purdue for Ryan without problems with scheduling, registration, and student loan acceptance. a;sljdf;aljdf
On a scale of 1-1o, with 1 being Ferris Bueller's Day Off and 10 being Alexander's Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day, my schedule looks like:
Monday: 6
Tuesday: 4
Wednesday: 9 (5 classes spanning 7:30am to 5:30pm)
Thursday: 2
Friday: 7
A lot of my aero professors are downright crazy, but it's balanced by a generous amount of oh my god these guys are so smart. I also regret letting all my knowledge of CATIA atrophy over several years since CGT 163.
New apartment is nice, even though I kinda hate trekking up Chauncey Hill. Especially 3x a week at 7 in the morning. I am not used to early classes like this!
Improv is good. I've already seen a lot of familiar old faces, and it looks like we've got a good recruiting class, which couldn't come at a better time for us.
Several job fairs are coming up next week and I suppose it's high time for me to buckle down and try to seriously get myself out there and find some sort of internship for next year. If nothing else I do not want to work for university residences again (not that it is a bad job, I just don't think I can do it again). Side thought...the longest I've had any job so far was about 3 years and each time I started to get pretty stir crazy. I hope that if/when I get into my preferred "field"I will be more content and won't feel the need to jump around so much.
Lastly, Andy Ober gave Jenny and I some last minute freebies to go see another preseason game - Bengals @ Colts a week ago. So we got to see Lucas Oil Stadium up close and personal, and the Bengals won (something I am worried about not celebrating a lot in the coming months). That said, my new favorite Bengal is Corey Lynch - not just because he makes a great impact on our D, but he's also a rookie from Appalachian State. Which means he was part of the David team that brought down Michigan last year at the Big House, apparently starting a tradition.
:D Football season!
7.23.2008
Baby Hold On
900 posts!
Current Mood: frustrated
My summer work is almost over. About 2 more weeks of work, and then I'll be done with conferences, done with Earhart, and done with dining hall food. Our last big conference leaves Sunday and I get my floor back, I get paid at the end of the month, and things start to wind down.
Still, the last bit isn't exactly going very smoothly. I was told at the start of the summer to prepare to work until August 8th, which I was. Then we had a staff meeting and were told we could leave on the 3rd...only to get an email an hour later revoking it. Not such a big deal except we still are being asked to move out of our rooms by the 4th to turn things over to the new RAs. Power outages, being on call until the early hours of the morning, construction, and all other sorts of things are workin' my last nerve.
Yeah, this job really can't be beat in terms of compensation (pay, food, housing) vs. actual work (duty, check ins, etc.), but I am really getting sick of doing this. I can't leave my work at work, because I also live, eat, sleep, and socialize here. I'm not making any progress career-wise, either. It's very much a safety job for me, and I want to break free.
I really miss apartment living, which is another reason I'm aching to leave. I need to figure out moving out of Earhart and my old apartment into my new one, and coordinate things with both new roommates and their old one, plus my "current" roommate and the two subleasers living there. On top of that I have to find a vehicle to move my bed, desk, flatware and such, plus move a ton of stuff to other people (Wii, TV, fridge, couch). Plus my fantastic old apt. landlords decided to pro-rate rent for the month of August, so I have to cough up about 100 dollars on top of it all. Who knows how much of my security deposit I'll get back.
And then of course I still need to get registered for classes...but I have made some progress! I went to see my advisor. He pawned me off to his secretary (actually a really nice lady), who informed me that Purdue is transferring all of their administrative tasks to an entirely new software system. So she tried to help me, but I couldn't do anything because of a hold. So I took the printoff to Schleman. Schleman told me it was a loan thing - because of academic problems last year I've been making student loan payments, but part of that was Purdue is also transferring lenders - a multimillion dollar deal. I took the printoff to University Collections. UC told me it was still having problems with "student status" from my academic problems from last year. I went to Hovde and got an official transcript and brought it back to UC. UC told me to wait a few days for the system to update, and then I should be able to go back to my advisor's secretary and register, so then I'll have registered student status for the Fall so I can now apply for a student loan.
And I'm sure that'll just happen without any problems.
What a difference from my last post, eh?
Current Mood: frustrated
My summer work is almost over. About 2 more weeks of work, and then I'll be done with conferences, done with Earhart, and done with dining hall food. Our last big conference leaves Sunday and I get my floor back, I get paid at the end of the month, and things start to wind down.
Still, the last bit isn't exactly going very smoothly. I was told at the start of the summer to prepare to work until August 8th, which I was. Then we had a staff meeting and were told we could leave on the 3rd...only to get an email an hour later revoking it. Not such a big deal except we still are being asked to move out of our rooms by the 4th to turn things over to the new RAs. Power outages, being on call until the early hours of the morning, construction, and all other sorts of things are workin' my last nerve.
Yeah, this job really can't be beat in terms of compensation (pay, food, housing) vs. actual work (duty, check ins, etc.), but I am really getting sick of doing this. I can't leave my work at work, because I also live, eat, sleep, and socialize here. I'm not making any progress career-wise, either. It's very much a safety job for me, and I want to break free.
I really miss apartment living, which is another reason I'm aching to leave. I need to figure out moving out of Earhart and my old apartment into my new one, and coordinate things with both new roommates and their old one, plus my "current" roommate and the two subleasers living there. On top of that I have to find a vehicle to move my bed, desk, flatware and such, plus move a ton of stuff to other people (Wii, TV, fridge, couch). Plus my fantastic old apt. landlords decided to pro-rate rent for the month of August, so I have to cough up about 100 dollars on top of it all. Who knows how much of my security deposit I'll get back.
And then of course I still need to get registered for classes...but I have made some progress! I went to see my advisor. He pawned me off to his secretary (actually a really nice lady), who informed me that Purdue is transferring all of their administrative tasks to an entirely new software system. So she tried to help me, but I couldn't do anything because of a hold. So I took the printoff to Schleman. Schleman told me it was a loan thing - because of academic problems last year I've been making student loan payments, but part of that was Purdue is also transferring lenders - a multimillion dollar deal. I took the printoff to University Collections. UC told me it was still having problems with "student status" from my academic problems from last year. I went to Hovde and got an official transcript and brought it back to UC. UC told me to wait a few days for the system to update, and then I should be able to go back to my advisor's secretary and register, so then I'll have registered student status for the Fall so I can now apply for a student loan.
And I'm sure that'll just happen without any problems.
What a difference from my last post, eh?
6.27.2008
forecast
Current Mood: pensive
I'm not a fan of laundry list posts, but this is more for me than anybody. Plus I just rolled out a survey post, which is pretty lame too. Deal :D
So it's about halfway through June, which means summer is approximately half over for me.
Finals ended Saturday, May 3rd. As soon as I was done with all my finals and a paper, I left Purdue. Jenny and I went to Cincinnati for about a week, went to Union Terminal to see Bodies (the Exhibition) and went to a Red's game. Then I came back and moved into Earhart, and had a week of straight training before jumping right into work. Since then I've beaten Metroid Prime: Corruption and read some books I've wanted to for a while (mostly stuff I put off during the school year). I went to Joey Steenbergen's wedding, and Benji & Corrie's wedding reception. My 22nd birthday came and went. I performed a special summer improv show for Earhart Hall summer school residents with most of the SoF. I've gone to see Iron Man and Indy 4. I've posed as a model for a Purdue brochure. I stopped biting my fingernails! I've kept up on my goal of posting here and on my other story site at least once a week (but not much more). I have also picked up a few extra hours helping with Day on Campus Tours, but for the most part I've been relaxing and hanging out with my friends that have been here (including a game of the new D&D 4.0 rules).
Pretty busy, I think. I am trying not to waste away my summer, but really relax and not overstress. I need some time to recharge my batteries. Thinking back to last summer, I should've either gotten more rigid deadlines from Dr. D for our research, or seriously considered limiting myself to just either a job, or my fellowship.
So where does that leave me for the rest of the summer? I've got from now until summer "ends" with the start of class- Monday August 25th. As of now:
I have about 25 hours of work every week for most of the rest of that time. I don't know when my last day will be, but the last day I could possibly work is August 8th.
That's also the last day for my current apartment lease, so sometime around there I'll need to move. That means up until then I need to continue whittling down the things I have here at Earhart. Peace has to move out, and I'll have to sort out everything there between me n' Alex. Then between Jenny, probably Greg, and hopefully mom coming to help, I'll move everything out of Earhart and Harrison over to my new apartment on the landing.
Mom wants me to try and go to an airshow July 19 and 20th, but I don't know if I'll be able to get off of work then. Similarly, my favorite holiday (4th of July) is coming up, and I'd like to hang out with everybody near Purdue and watch the fireworks, but I may have to work.
I'd like to go to Ft. Wayne and visit Andy and Jacque, and possibly someplace in Chicago - maybe see Scott? On top of that, Monday August 11th, Jenny and I are thinking about going to Green Bay WI to see the Bengals play the Packers @ Lambeau for the preseason. This may or may not count as our anniversary celebration. :D All of that takes a ton of money and gas is a lot more expensive than past summers, so we'll see. I will probably go home after apartment moving and before classes.
GenCon in mid-August, maybe? Also if I can get the right ticket, maybe a Judas Priest concert with future roommate Greg (how much would that rule?)
I will try and make it through the rest of my pile of books, Beard's comics, and finish at the very least Pokemon Diamond and Super Mario Galaxy. I've also got some computer maintenance to do (clean out bookmarks, clean up music files, etc.) but that's not high priority.
I'm going to make a point to keep posting to my blogs. By my best estimate, I have 14 chapters of my story left until I hit my goal [(50k - current 31,819) / 1300 word/chapter average) = 13.9]. I won't stop until I hit 50k, but I also won't quit until I've told my story. At one chapter/week average, I'll be done in 14 weeks, which means I won't finish before the summer ends. Fine, except my posting rate plummets as school picks up.
I should go give blood again, soon.
The last thing I'm writing about as a goal for the summer directly parallels my feeling about it. Something I've been putting off since the end of school. I need to talk to my counselor and get registered for the fall, and possibly take a summer class for July. Ugh.
Do. Not. Want.
I'm not a fan of laundry list posts, but this is more for me than anybody. Plus I just rolled out a survey post, which is pretty lame too. Deal :D
So it's about halfway through June, which means summer is approximately half over for me.
Finals ended Saturday, May 3rd. As soon as I was done with all my finals and a paper, I left Purdue. Jenny and I went to Cincinnati for about a week, went to Union Terminal to see Bodies (the Exhibition) and went to a Red's game. Then I came back and moved into Earhart, and had a week of straight training before jumping right into work. Since then I've beaten Metroid Prime: Corruption and read some books I've wanted to for a while (mostly stuff I put off during the school year). I went to Joey Steenbergen's wedding, and Benji & Corrie's wedding reception. My 22nd birthday came and went. I performed a special summer improv show for Earhart Hall summer school residents with most of the SoF. I've gone to see Iron Man and Indy 4. I've posed as a model for a Purdue brochure. I stopped biting my fingernails! I've kept up on my goal of posting here and on my other story site at least once a week (but not much more). I have also picked up a few extra hours helping with Day on Campus Tours, but for the most part I've been relaxing and hanging out with my friends that have been here (including a game of the new D&D 4.0 rules).
Pretty busy, I think. I am trying not to waste away my summer, but really relax and not overstress. I need some time to recharge my batteries. Thinking back to last summer, I should've either gotten more rigid deadlines from Dr. D for our research, or seriously considered limiting myself to just either a job, or my fellowship.
So where does that leave me for the rest of the summer? I've got from now until summer "ends" with the start of class- Monday August 25th. As of now:
I have about 25 hours of work every week for most of the rest of that time. I don't know when my last day will be, but the last day I could possibly work is August 8th.
That's also the last day for my current apartment lease, so sometime around there I'll need to move. That means up until then I need to continue whittling down the things I have here at Earhart. Peace has to move out, and I'll have to sort out everything there between me n' Alex. Then between Jenny, probably Greg, and hopefully mom coming to help, I'll move everything out of Earhart and Harrison over to my new apartment on the landing.
Mom wants me to try and go to an airshow July 19 and 20th, but I don't know if I'll be able to get off of work then. Similarly, my favorite holiday (4th of July) is coming up, and I'd like to hang out with everybody near Purdue and watch the fireworks, but I may have to work.
I'd like to go to Ft. Wayne and visit Andy and Jacque, and possibly someplace in Chicago - maybe see Scott? On top of that, Monday August 11th, Jenny and I are thinking about going to Green Bay WI to see the Bengals play the Packers @ Lambeau for the preseason. This may or may not count as our anniversary celebration. :D All of that takes a ton of money and gas is a lot more expensive than past summers, so we'll see. I will probably go home after apartment moving and before classes.
GenCon in mid-August, maybe? Also if I can get the right ticket, maybe a Judas Priest concert with future roommate Greg (how much would that rule?)
I will try and make it through the rest of my pile of books, Beard's comics, and finish at the very least Pokemon Diamond and Super Mario Galaxy. I've also got some computer maintenance to do (clean out bookmarks, clean up music files, etc.) but that's not high priority.
I'm going to make a point to keep posting to my blogs. By my best estimate, I have 14 chapters of my story left until I hit my goal [(50k - current 31,819) / 1300 word/chapter average) = 13.9]. I won't stop until I hit 50k, but I also won't quit until I've told my story. At one chapter/week average, I'll be done in 14 weeks, which means I won't finish before the summer ends. Fine, except my posting rate plummets as school picks up.
I should go give blood again, soon.
The last thing I'm writing about as a goal for the summer directly parallels my feeling about it. Something I've been putting off since the end of school. I need to talk to my counselor and get registered for the fall, and possibly take a summer class for July. Ugh.
Do. Not. Want.
5.29.2008
avoidance
Current Mood: procrastination
Technology good: summer has barely begun, but I've got an really powerful central a/c unit all to myself. My [old] apartment has a shitty window unit that barely keeps the living room cool, much less my room. My current room for the summer...I can make it downright chilly. I am thankful for that.
Technology bad: I think I may have damaged my speakers? My nice [relatively] new ones. Yesterday I was rocking out something fierce, and some of the higher notes have a really odd twine to them (it's hard to describe). Temporary solution: turn down the volume, which I will have to do soon anyway once the building gets more occupied. Also, note to self: do not listen to offensive songs when building gets more occupied. Possible but unlikely long term solution: buy newer, more powerful speakers?
Technology good: I am borrowing Jenny's roommate's mini-fridge for the summer. I'm trying to cut down on the number of things I own, so this doesn't count against me. While it is not a necessity, it's a nice thing to have sometimes. :D I miss my full apartment kitchen, dirty dishes and all.
Technology bad: No car. 95% of the time, not a problem, 5% of the time, a really big problem.
Technology good: Future apartment has a DVR and cable TV. This means that I should never miss out on my favorite shows again.
Technology bad: I'm gonna watch so much TV...
Technology good: Maybe I'm just more web savvy, but I don't know how much longer DVRs are needed. Seriously, I remember 6 months ago trying to find old TV episodes online was basically torrenting, hoping like hell somebody was hosting it for free on some obscure site, or watching it in 8 parts on YouTube before it was removed. Maybe the writer's strike really did something, but now there's much more accessible content online for TV - sites like TVLinks or Hulu, (or even more legit sites like NBC.com) and I really don't mind the ads. I really don't. So help me god, though, if it has to buffer excessively, or keeps skipping and freezing, or something like that, I'll go right back to finding better, ad-free solutions.
Technology good: summer has barely begun, but I've got an really powerful central a/c unit all to myself. My [old] apartment has a shitty window unit that barely keeps the living room cool, much less my room. My current room for the summer...I can make it downright chilly. I am thankful for that.
Technology bad: I think I may have damaged my speakers? My nice [relatively] new ones. Yesterday I was rocking out something fierce, and some of the higher notes have a really odd twine to them (it's hard to describe). Temporary solution: turn down the volume, which I will have to do soon anyway once the building gets more occupied. Also, note to self: do not listen to offensive songs when building gets more occupied. Possible but unlikely long term solution: buy newer, more powerful speakers?
Technology good: I am borrowing Jenny's roommate's mini-fridge for the summer. I'm trying to cut down on the number of things I own, so this doesn't count against me. While it is not a necessity, it's a nice thing to have sometimes. :D I miss my full apartment kitchen, dirty dishes and all.
Technology bad: No car. 95% of the time, not a problem, 5% of the time, a really big problem.
Technology good: Future apartment has a DVR and cable TV. This means that I should never miss out on my favorite shows again.
Technology bad: I'm gonna watch so much TV...
Technology good: Maybe I'm just more web savvy, but I don't know how much longer DVRs are needed. Seriously, I remember 6 months ago trying to find old TV episodes online was basically torrenting, hoping like hell somebody was hosting it for free on some obscure site, or watching it in 8 parts on YouTube before it was removed. Maybe the writer's strike really did something, but now there's much more accessible content online for TV - sites like TVLinks or Hulu, (or even more legit sites like NBC.com) and I really don't mind the ads. I really don't. So help me god, though, if it has to buffer excessively, or keeps skipping and freezing, or something like that, I'll go right back to finding better, ad-free solutions.
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