Frimpong

Current Mood: not tired?
Current Music: "Photographs And Memories" by Jim Croce

Okay folks, this is a bit of a discussion about a topic that doesn't get nearly enough critical review.

National Football League Cheerleading Team Names

There are currently 32 teams in the great sport of American football. I say American because I want to make sure we're talking about the competition where large sweaty men tackle each other and compliment each other's tight ends. Now, NFL cheerleaders have always been some much needed eye candy for this testosterone-laden athletic event, so the point of this article is not to discuss if cheerleading is a sport (it isn't) or if they have any effect on the game (they don't) or even if they're classy looking (they aren't). No, reader, this is simply a diatribe on nomenclature. Of the 27 teams with cheerleaders:


1. Teams with uninspired but acceptable names (14/32 or 43.8%):

• Arizona Cardinals Cheerleaders
• Atlanta Falcons Cheerleaders
• Baltimore Ravens Cheerleaders
• Denver Broncos Cheerleaders
• Houston Texans Cheerleaders
• Indianapolis Colts Cheerleaders
• Kansas City Chiefs Cheerleaders
• Miami Dolphins Cheerleaders
• Minnesota Vikings Cheerleaders
• New England Patriots Cheerleaders
• Philadelphia Eagles Cheerleaders
• Tennessee Titans Cheerleaders
• Washington Redskins Cheerleaders

Congratulations, guys. You've managed to label your city, your team name, and identify your group as cheerleaders. No points for creativity.

• Rams Cheerleaders (St. Louis Rams)
  

Skipping out on the city part, eh? Too afraid to commit? Not unique enough to stand out from the herd... another boringly mediocre name.


2. Teams with formerly good names (1/32 or 3.13%):

• Tampa Bay Buccaneers Cheerleaders (formerly the SwashBuclers from 1976-1999)

Sorry guys. You had something, and now you've lost it.


3. Teams with bad names (6/32 or 18.8%):

• Jacksonville ROAR (Jacksonville Jaguars)
  

Not making this up. Way to have a verb.

• Carolina Topcats (Carolina Panthers)
  

Topcats? What the hell is a topcat? The closest I can imagine is Top Cat who was a Hanna-Barbera character, but it's not that because he was two words and trademarked.

• Chicago Honey Bears (Chicago Bears)
  

Not really sure what's going on here, but apparently there was something called the "Curse of the Honey Bears" back in 1985. Probably because of this name.

• Buffalo Jills (Buffalo Bills)
  

I checked, and being named "Jill" is not a requirement for being on this cheering squad.

• Seattle Sea Gals (Seattle Seahawks)
  

Way to rip off the Bengals, guys - it doesn't quite work with your team name, though. Also, comparing your cheerleaders to birds who eat barge garbage? Not flattering.

• San Fransisco Gold Rush (San Fransisco 49ers)
  

I'm gonna go ahead and skip over how much I hate "49ers" as a name, because I'm busy with "Gold Rush". That's not really a name for a group, guys. That's a historical event.


4. The "ettes" teams (2/32 or 6.25%):

• Oakland Raiderettes (Oakland Raiders)
• Pittsburgh Steelerettes (Pittsburgh Steelers)

Sorry guys, there's already a group with an "ette" ending, and you're not it.

5. Teams with good names (4/32 or 12.5%):

• Cincinnati BenGals (Cincinnati Bengals)
• Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders
• New Orleans Saintsations (New Orleans Saints)
• San Diego Charger Girls (San Diego Chargers)

Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders escape category 1 because they are well known and established beyond simply "some football team's cheerleaders". The others have unique names with good wording. Thanks guys.

6. Teams with no cheerleaders (5/32 or 15.6%):

• Cleveland Browns
• Detroit Lions
• Green Bay Packers
• New York Jets
• New York Giants

Just so you know.




Now, discuss.