Rawk's sawks

Ugh, where to begin. It's been a week and a day since I left Purdue and a hundred things have happened, and I don't know if I can or even care to write them all down. I suppose the most logical way to start off would be my family...

Dad: Still working a full time job still at Montgomery Care Center as lead cook/kitchen manager as well as his part time job as a Home Inspector (he recently lost his cellphone inspecting a crackhouse in Dayton, no joke. Ask me sometime for the story). Spends any extra time/energy restoring the house, doing odd jobs, taking care of the jobs, working out family problems, and trying to help all three kids transition through school. Dad's my hero, as well as an endless source of enthusiasm, honesty, advice, as well as love. Dad's motto is "whatever it takes" to get me through Purdue in once piece. He's going to have surgery for torn shoulder muscles/ligaments on the 28th.

Sis: Finishing her last semester as an English major at Miami University, Sis has been through a lot with what is heading toward her second (and my first) divorce and I'm learning more about her every time we talk. Her new boyfriend Jacob is really fun and I'm happy (jealous) for them and I think that it's a good relationship for the both of them. Sis and I are headed to Washington D.C. on the 3rd to visit him before I head back to Purdue for the end of break. Sis gives her heart and soul to the family and although we're polar opposites in personality, we've always been best of friends, always on the same wavelength. She's also the coolest person I know because she's got that new Nintendo D/S.

Brad: I don't get to see much of Brad because he's living with Mom and I'm usually at Purdue, but I cherish every moment with him because it's like I'm hanging out with a physical manifestation of part of my brain. And by that I mean that we love the same music and movies seamlessly. I try with all my heart and soul to impart big brotherly guidance and wisdom to him, and with my help, he could be the best.

Mom: ??? I haven't talked to Mom since Thanksgiving Break and she wasn't present for Thanksgiving or Christmas festivities. Don't know where she is right now and I have no clue what's going on with her, but it's like a knife in my heart.

Christmas: Many of our staple Christmas traditions were hampered by aforementioned obstacles (Dad's arm surgery, Mom, etc.), but Dad, Brad, Sis, and I carried on the normal Garwood family traditions as best as we could. Many of us were forced into roles this holiday that we weren't used to. We bought one of the last LIVE trees in the lot (I'll spare you my Yultide rant about fake trees as my holiday gift to you, the reader, but let me say that I'll take a scraggly Charlie Brown tree over some commercialized synthetic pine anyday) but only put up the minimum of lights, and I was surprised that our neighbors didn't really decorate either (perhaps we're a bigger part of this neighborhood than I realized). We decorated the tree to the Grinch and Christmas Tape, as usual. I can't tell you how badly things seemed...off, though. Christmas Cruise has been put on indefinite hold, but we went out to Longhorn dinner on the 24th and came home and opened presents as per tradition. In a strictly material sense, it was a minimal Christmas (only compared to the past), but I was extremely happy with my gifts and we've always been a close-knit family so I know that all of my gifts both outgoing and receiving were well thought out. So far (updated)-

2 pairs of jeans and a vintage Queen t-shirt
Collector Box Set of the Steve Miller Band and The Who
a Nokia cellular phone
ssorted gift cards (to Office Max, Borders, Nokia, Best Buy, Subway)
some cold hard cash from Grandma

Cellphone: I don't know what possessed my father to get me a cellphone for Christmas, but now I'm part of this crazy cellphone mania that I've ridiculed and fought for so long. Dad made sure to get me a phone where you pay with prepaid phone cards rather than a monthly plan (great for Mr. No Steady Income) but rest assured I will not be giving this number out willy-nilly. There will be (literally) a list of people allowed to know the number. Make fun if you wish, I don't care, but I will not take this cellphone lightly. I plan on using it responsibly and efficiently. Emergencies and calls home, for example. I can't afford to be randomly calling whoever whenever, nor do I want to be accessible whenever wherever to be interrupted by who knows what, especially when I'm in class, or in a theatre, or when I'm talking to my friends, or when I'm sleeping...

The House: I can't help but laugh when other college students I know tell me how much their house has changed since they've been away. Every time I come home my house looks completely different and it's pretty much locked in now that this whole fix the house/remove crap/replace things/go through all my posessions/etc. is going to spill over into Spring Break also. Right now all but the bedrooms are painted and most of the major appliances and furniture is up (the tree is slated to go this afternoon). Dad made a crunch decision and bought a new computer so that Brad keeps the old one at Mom's, so I finished putting that together so I at least have dial-up here (painfully slow). I loved the massive snow we got for Christmas, but that does mean there's a solid sheet of ice that covers our driveway and I've been slowly chipping away at it when I find time/energy. The past few days it's actually restricted travel (not to mention the holiday crowds, and the fact that Sis borrows my car from time to time because her car is still broken). It's odd, because if you take a quick glance, you'd be tempted to say that the house is completely restored, but day to day you realize "oh, we don't have a pizza cutter" or "there's no toothpaste in the bathroom." It's the little stuff. Or the big stuff, like the mountain of boxes piled up in Bradley's room, or the fact that I still don't have curtains. I have to remind myself that the house itself is never going to be "done," that it's an ongoing process, but given the other facets of my life, I'd really prefer something to be relatively constant. Sis likes to think of the house as a symbol of rebuilding our family, but I often wonder how much I'll actually be here in the next few years while I'm at Purdue.

Flying: It's now been over a full year since I've flown. If it was possible, I would drive down to the airport on the first good weather day and take a flight. To be honest, my license slips away more and more each day because I forget what it feels like to sit in the cockpit of that little Cessna. I forget the checklists, the FAA regulations, the procedures, the altitude and visibility requirements, I'm even forgetting the jiggle you have to do to get the fuel pump to work just right. It seems, though, that flying is a luxury that will have to be put on hold at least temporarily for at least one of a few major things to clear up. Perhaps this summer, when Purdue Engineering doesn't take up so much of my brain. Or my time. Or my money.

School: Speaking of Purdue, I miss school. I miss my friends, the campus, the challenge, my computer, my roomate, I miss it all. Perhaps if this felt more like a "break" and less of a "get through each day doing the best you can do each day three week marathon" I'd feel different, but I really do love my school and I can't wait to get a fresh start for the second semester. I'm gonna turn up the focus and figure out what to do. I don't even know what's going on with my grades right now, or my GPA, or my EAI, or my studen loans, or my finances, or my car, or a million other things, but it's hard to worry about something that's 200 miles away when the Christmas tree needs to be taken down, or I need to go spend the night at David's house. Good news is that I definitely did not fail Calculus I as I feared (and was quite sure of, to be honest), but instead passed with a solid B. I'm shocked. It's a boost of hope when other grades of mine that I had assumed to be decent are now in danger.

Friends: I've only been able to talk to or meet with a few of my friends since I got here last Saturday, but I'm pretty much free from now until the 3rd of January (except for the 29th, I have lots to do that day, and Purdue's playing their bowl game on New Year's Eve). With that in mind, feel free to get ahold of me however you wish and I'll try to see whoever I can...it's been an even busier break than I predicted.

Amelia: Little Amelia. My graduating high school town. I went back to the High School to visit some teachers that have made an impact on my life, the ones that really matter. Ms. Conway still is out for a broken ankle, and Mrs. Barnes was leaving for a trip the day I planned to visit, so my "therapy session" will have to wait. The only teacher I did see was Mrs. Kuzma and we talked for a few hours. She said that I've really changed/grown up in such a short while. She even told me a little story about the second AP Statistics class she's ever taught, and how they were complaining about the workload so much. She told them about a boy who was in her class who left in January for some major surgery, came back just after Spring Break, and made up all the work, then took and passed all three AP Tests. The class was silent, and so was I as she told me the story. It was the first time that it really hit me that I actually might be some sort of hero or role model to somebody other than my little brother.

That's all I've got for now. Being online with dial-up ties up the phone line. I've got lunch with Brad, a tree to take down, and a few friends to call today. I can't promise many posts between now and January 10th (when Christmas break ends and Purdue starts again), but we'll see.