an inefficient but effective engine

It's difficult to write this, staring at a blank slate, fully realizing that what I'm about to type is a cliché. A cheesy stereotype. A superficial commonality that describes all too well what I'm trying to express.

Long story short, I had a very emotionally, physically, mentally difficult Thanksgiving break. And because of this, I have a window to a better understanding of being "thankful" of important things.

My parents are living in separate houses and argue constantly over anything and everything. They are divorced in every sense except legally. I'm trying harder than ever to live up to the role of big brother, knowing that Bradley lives through this day in and day out. To be a better younger brother at the same time, to appreciate that my sister has already been through one divorce. Thanksgiving dinner was not what it usually was, not by a long shot. I didn't really let my guard down and truly relax for more than a few minutes over the whole break. I spent the vast majority of the time physically trying to put our house back together.

And through it all, there's something to be said about appreciating the fact that my father works day in and day out to provide a home for us. That my mom sends me packages at college. That my little brother still can laugh. That my sister wants to include me in her life and share everything with me. That for once, being the middle child means I probably escaped the majority of this entire house-destroyed-parents-divorcing ordeal. That I might not've had a full Thanksgiving like normal, but I still had turkey and most of my family there at the table. That I'm not in a back brace or in the hospital and am capable of painting and carrying boxes around. That I did have a bed to sleep in, once we moved some stuff around. That most of my things survived the storm, and some of it is here at Purdue. That I got to go home at all over break. That I'm learning at a college that I truly enjoy and want to go back to. That people tolerate my deep cravings for Cincinnati chili. That despite all of my complaining, whining, and bitching, I have family that loves me unconditionally and friends that offer their help even if all I ask of them is to go bowling or listen over some Subway.

I'm trying not to fill this post with what went wrong, or what sucked, or what I didn't enjoy or like. There's more than enough of that, and if you're really curious, send me an email. I think it's better to force myself to find the posititives...isn't that what Thanksgiving is all about?