One down, two to go

I SO wanted to procrastinate my return to school after my surgery, what with almost 2 months of makeup work to sit on...........procrastinate it to May. I guess the biggest problem I have is that I always push myself 110%, sort of a "full-on" person. I don't feel like myself at all, and so I'm not ready, nor do I feel capable of putting out that much effort (I went from working, going to school, and flying 60 hours a week to nothing). So I figured if I can't work at the level I did before my surgery, I must not be healed, and thus can't start back up again. Too bad life doesn't work that way. It's just that I've never excepted any excuses from anybody, myself least of all, and the whole "you just had a major surgery card" seems like it should be used up and then discarded, instead of taken to school and used as a excuse for crappy work. My parents tell me I work too hard and set unrealistic expectations for myself. :::sigh::: I'm already accepted, have a legit medical excuse, so bring on the Senioritis, right?

Wrong.

Mom made appointments for me to see all my teachers in the next few weeks (Conway, Rabenstien, Kuzma, in that order). Today I visited Ms. Conway. I was very nervous that she would be upset that I hadn't done ANYTHING in terms of work, but it ended up working out ok.

First off, my friends (Brandon, Kevin, Dan, Peter, Eric, Karen, and eventually David, Casey, and Ginger) were skipping class/ditching reviews and foreign language classes just to say hi, chit-chat, compare my newfound height, ect. So much fun, such a relief, and a nice surprise- basically, Thanks guys, you made my day!

Conway gave me "the look," "the smack," and then "the hug," as promised, respectively indicating that she was "peeved I chose the middle of her AP year to leave for surgery," "jokingly angry that I hadn't done any work," and "happy that I was back." I also suspect there was a smidgen of jealousy, now that I am taller than her and whatnot, but maybe that's just me. ^_^

Basically, since I was recovering, and I'm still not 100% back to normal, she gave me enormous leeway in terms of makeup work, stressing key things to work on, rather than making up every single day to day item (note- SEAP does not pause for any PhD on the planet). So we worked out a light schedule of makeup- to slowly start getting back into the swing of things. I'm ok for now, but that's only 1/3 of the classes I have, and there aren't any "day to day items" to avoid in Calc and Stats (nervous breakdown in 3.........2...........1.........). All in all, I was very relieved (once Ms. Conway quit joking) that she took it easy and understood. It's tough for me to even get started, it's so overwhelming, and my pain has lessened from a monster temporarily kept in check with codeine to an annoying insect that bothers me a little bit 24/7 (I no longer get the good drugs). So basically, I'm just gonna take it one little step at a time. Oh, and Conway hugged me about a dozen times.........it's nice to be missed, I guess, even if it's for something like sarcastic comments.

In the next few weeks, I'm going to try to start coming to class sporadically, dropping in sometimes in 1st, or 5th, maybe 6th.........then to Calc and Stats as I can manage (I am SO not ready to sit in those annoying plastic chairs for 7 hours). I'm going to see my doctor on March 1st. Most likely I will be given a "return to normal activities as tolerated," meaning I can start driving (if I can stand it) and going to school (if I can stand it). I will also start being able to take my brace off for small amounts of time a day- like an hour or so, long enough TO TAKE A FUCKING SHOWER..............it's been so long, I can't even remember what that feels like :(. If I can swing it, I might stop by to see English presentations/exams next week, and might try to stop by in March to participate in some class discussions.

::::whew::::