A little self indulgence, lately, to counteract the massive amounts of school work and crap.........

English papers and plays to read till I'm blue in the face, Calculus crap to make up from when I was sick, Stat crap backed up also, I totally have no clue what's going on in Physics, and I am about ready to blow off my final project in AutoCAD. Not to mention my doctor's appt. on Monday, which took 5 freaking hours...........turns out my surgery will be mid-January, with blood donations and medicine and consulations and lots of hospital crap before then. I guess now would be a good time to mention my morbid fear of anything hospital-esque. Yup, a few days after Winter Break, I go under the knife, and I'm really really not looking forward to it. I guess most of it is because I know everybody will be all sympathetic and caring and fawning over me...........I don't want anybody to say anything or treat me any different. I know my grandma will go berserk over this........I kinda want eveyrbody to just ignore it. At the same time, I want everybody to visit me and make me feel better, if that doesn't contradict everything I just said. The biggest source of frustration, I suppose, stems from my blatant lack of girlfriend support here...........not that I don't appreciate friends and family in this case, but I really had no problems with this surgery thing when Kristen told me she would take care of me and help me out any way she could. Maybe I'm just a huge pansy-ass, but I really am nervous about this and I really am mad that she's not there..........she said she would be. Now she's not. I even saw her today. I thought I was over her, but apparently not.

So, I bought myself 3 new Queen CDs (Sheer Heart Attack [doesn't have SHA the song, wtf?], The Miracle [I never knew this was on CD!], and Live at Wembley 86' [a target of my money for quite some time now]), my brother and I bought some HULK hands (look for 'em on Friday, guys), and we rented some stuff from Blockbuster (Druids and SSX Tricky 3).

Nothing like spending money to make you feel like you've filled the void in your heart and/or soul.