welcome to the rest of your life

Current Mood:

I like to think I'm a pretty mature guy, pretty grown up in my actions and deeds. But the truth remains that many days I still feel like a kid. I get the feeling that might change this summer though.

Tomorrow's my 25th birthday. Now, around my mid teens my birthday started to feel like much ado about nothing, in that the day itself didn't mark any sort of significant change in my life. I never felt any older than the day before. Other than the big milestones (18, 21) nothing *really* changed and even when it did, I rarely took notice. I didn't go out on my 21st (not that I'm complaining - I just don't care that much about alcohol I guess). And tomorrow's not much different, but I'm now halfway through my 20s, and that marks me as a quarter century old. That feels pretty old to me. Not OLD old, but certainly not a kid anymore, right?

I'm about to start my 8th year of college. UGH. I'm getting "Adult Continuing Education Plans" emails in my inbox instead of "Beware the dangers of drinking". I don't stay out late and today - A Saturday of a Three Day Weekend - I got up before 8 am, voluntarily. I try to eat better and sleep regularly. Just about everybody I started school with in 2004 is graduated, dropped out, gone to grad school, has a Real Job, and/or has a family - something different than perpetual undergraddom like me.

I'm getting married in a little less than 2 months. That's a grown up thing, right? I've been with Jenny for five and half years, so long that the idea of getting married doesn't really seem like that big of a change (which is something I like, means I'm not freaking out or worried about it). We're just gonna keep on doin' our thing after tying the knot, I imagine. Still the same people you guys like, I hope. If I completely change and become a different person that sucks, tell me please? Most of the wedding details have been settled but we have more work to do... just about every weekend from now until then is booked with some kind of wedding thing so I have my summer pretty well planned out.

Last summer I "worked" "40 hours" at a "full time position" but to be honest I was in a salaried position and got my work done just fine by being in the office from about 1-4pm. I wasn't slacking, but it wasn't a very demanding job. It was pretty rad. Now? Now I WORK forty hours, Monday-Friday from 8-5 at the Composites Lab. Like clockwork. And it is exhausting. I'm not trying to say I have the worst job or anything (far from it) but I don't know how people work 60,70, or 80 hour workweeks without going crazy.

All in all, baby steps, methinks. But I get the sneaking suspicion this is a turning point in my life, and I may look back on this summer as a blurry jumbled "line" dividing something resembling adolescence/early adulthood with the next vague and uncertain stage of life (adulthood? mid-life?).

*Edit* ^ugh. that sounded really dumb, didn't it?