Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: "Rock Me" by Great White
I have plenty (of other things) to post, but for now, I will state that it remains difficult to motivate myself and stay optimistic. It remains extremely difficult to start homework, to go to class, to study, when I am not sure if I will be a student at Purdue University for much longer.
I know I am prone to drama and over-exaggerating things sometime, but money is not cheap. Things have changed irrevocably as far as finances, family, and such are concerned. If I were religious or believed in such things, I would be praying, wishing, hoping for luck, a miracle, some sort of sign or intervention.
We all know that's not the case, however. I'm forced back on myself. I look at my own failings and limitations, my own doubts and fears, and I wonder how I keep going. Is this internal momentum strong enough to carry me? I appreciate all of my friends and my family that have offered help, but there's not much anybody can do.
Mainly, I have to find some energy and time between classes, exams, presentations, and work to un-fuck this registration and financial aid bullshit. This student loan business may be the most awkwardly painful and least user-friendly process I know of. Deadlines have been extended as far as possible, and I my health is deteriorating from simply worrying.
I am running out of options
and much more importantly, time.
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In learning to ride a flying machine; if you are looking for perfect safety you will do well to sit on a fence and watch the birds, but if you really wish to learn you must mount a machine and become acquainted with it's tricks by actual trial. -Wilbur Wright, 1901
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- Ryan
- Recent Purdue University graduate (AET). Married. Engine Support Technician.
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I know it seems overwhelming, but this bureaucratic @#$# is within your power to get a hold of. The timing sucks, but then there's never a good time to get it taken care of.
ReplyDeleteNot exactly motivation, but then how's this for motivation: If it doesn't get taken care of, then I might just stay up in Chicago at the end of March! So there!
-Scott
At some point in time, I plan on becoming a teacher because I'd love to pass on the knowledge that I've gained. However, I'm not going to be some teacher that's going to coddle the students. I'm going to be a tough-love mentor that makes fun of them. Right now is a similar time.
ReplyDeleteSo listen up Nancy, you're going to be an astronaut and as such you're going to deal with so much pressure that you simply wish you were between a rock and a hard place. You're going to deal with beuracracy and physical, emotional, and mental demands. Consider this as part of your training for then.
Everyone knows that Neil Armstrong made the Moon landing. But not everyone knows that he was nearly out of fuel when trying to do so. Did he panic, fret, or worry? Maybe. I don't know. What I do know is that he made the landing regardless. Now you have to make the landing. So figure out whatever you need to do and get it done.