I'm making a genuine effort to change things- a gradual change of style. It's slow and difficult, but I think I'm making progress largely because of my new schedule. Last semester I never stayed up all night to do homework (no all-nighters), because I'm trying to curb my rampant procrastination. Even better, in three weeks of being back at Purdue I haven't missed, been late to, or even dozed off in a single class or lab. I've enlisted the help of my friends to set aside times to do homework on the weekends for motivational purposes (you heard me- doing productive things on the weekends). Yes, I haven't been to the gym since I got back to school, but I can't do everything, ok? I also broke my newspaper reading streak for The Exponent, but I've also managed to read a few chapters of some of my new books as a tradeoff.
All of my classes seem to be on a calculus streak:
*In chemistry, we're going over pretty much the parts of AP Chem I hated the most and did the worst on- solutions and reaction rates. Every problem involves the calculus of concentrations and rate laws. Blech.
*In physics, we're revisiting kinematics and Newtonian motion/forces. I did this stuff last semester, only now...it's calculus. We've integrated and derived position/velocity/acceleration so many times I'm about ready to integrate my notebook into the professor's face.
*In calculus...well, we're calculusing. We briefly covered vector calculus, which was pretty new and exciting, but quickly switched back to shells and solids of rotation.
*Even english found a way to work calculus into the curriculum. We're studying the change in the Zombie film genre/convention over time in preparation for our first film study, Shaun of the Dead. I'm going to devote a separate, upcoming post to english/writing for more on that subject.
I know. <nerd>me</nerd>.
First wave of exams are two weeks away (and by wave, I do mean wave- three exams in seven days), but until that point, I'm feeling relatively optimistic about grades. Well, sorta. I have ups and downs. Some days, I feel optimistic about my schedule and my grades and my GPA and the resultant future of the sum of those three variables. Other days...I really start to worry about not doing well enough. I really really want to be a real person (not a robot drone with no life but better grades), but I need to really kick it up a notch in the grades department (if that's even possible?).
Undaunted, I've decided that Friday night Improv, PPI, and the occasional concert/performance isn't enough for me. I'm still going to do those things, but I have a lot of interests and there's over 600 Purdue-sanctioned clubs on campus to enjoy, participate in, and meet new people at. I want to have a little more "activity" not just on my resume, but in my life. I considered such things as Purdue Engineering Magazine, student radio, or being a Boiler Gold Rush Team Leader, but I've finally settled on Pugwash.
Pugwash, founded by Albert Einstein and Bertrand Russell, is a peaceful organization dedicated to promoting discussion and nonpartisan debate over the intersection of science/technology and humanity/ethics. The Purdue chapter of Pugwash was founded in the 90's and meets weekly to discuss cloning, nanotechnology, nuclear policy, stem cell research, the Challenger launch decision, and other interesting and varied topics. Last week was the callout, and we watched a Frontline special on SDI/Star Wars missile defense. This week we heard a lecture by Dr. Kumares C. Sinha, a Purdue Mechanical Engineering professor. He's from India, and has consulted for national transportation in a dozen Asian countries. He talked about the effects and the future of automobiles (Hydrogen cars, public transportation, the National Highway system, and Eastern countries that are just now developing national networks for transportation). It was really interesting and I'm looking forward to making new friends and hopefully getting more involved with Pugwash.
All through the college search process I insisted that there was one reason and one reason alone I picked Purdue. I genuinely believed that it was the best school for me. My dream school. I wanted to be just like Neil Armstrong and be a Purdue Engineer and be an astronaut. I knowingly made this choice, forgoing any preference for weather, location, size, sports, male/female ratios, tuition, and a plethora of other factors.
This ramification of such a choice really just hit me a few days ago when I was sitting in my chemistry lecture. I feel tiny here. Spare me the height jokes, but in a school of 50,000 students in one of the midwest's largest public universities, I feel so small here at Purdue. I never appreciated little GE or Amelia more. The way my AP teachers knew I was having surgery and how it would affect my flying lessons. Here at Purdue I could stand up in the middle of my 400 person physics lecture, take off my shirt and run screaming from the room...and practically nobody would know who it was, the professor at the front of the cavernous lecture hall least of all. It's more than that, though. I don't feel nearly as distinguished here. At Amelia, I was the man when it came to practically anything space related. Hell, I knew more about the Cold War than Mr. Wilson did. Here, I'm one rocket junkie amongst many. So many engineers from different countries and states...I see so many new things every week that this place feels like a little slice of the U.N. Maybe it's because I have no car and walk/bus all over a gigantic campus of massive buildings. Maybe it's because every day I get up and choose to go to difficult classes that make me feel like an idiot instead of going to get hammered at some Frat party. Maybe it's because I live on the sixth floor with a roommate and can avoid anybody I want to for pretty much as long as I choose- even my RA.
Maybe this is what it feels like to be an adult.
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Or optimistically, you can simply look at the fact that you have thus far, accomplished phase 2 of a multi-step program to one day being the NASA guru you will be. You first graduated from a high school, aside from whatever crap Eric may say about it, that has given you a decent education. Secondly you got into Purdue, a personal goal of yours. Sure you may be a small man on a big campus, but you are still enrolled in one of the best aeronautical programs in the nation and have the potential to make your dreams come true. As a friend I have always known you to enjoy the "sneakyness" of a given situation...hello...you're at Purdue, surrounded by a community that if put in Alaska would make up over 10% of their entire population! You can enjoy the benefits of NOT having the spotlight on you, and still accomplish and learn what you wish. One thing that is definitely different at college than high school, is that everyone is there for two reasons: 1. to learn, 2. to become prepared for life (whether this means being smashed every weekend or not). Take advantage of it and enjoy yourself; I know the pressures of getting into NASA are much like that of becoming president, but if you stick with it and find that groove that you so deeply enjoy, there is no way some Boilermaker, pencil-pushing, TA can give you anything less than an A. Stick with it. To conclude remember you're taking "one small step" each day you go to class, in order to make the "giant leap" into your NASA uniform of your dreams. By the way, I am figuring from the Alaska reference that you figured out that this is Chris...if you want to talk some time, my number is (513) 240-0896, love to hear from ya, adios from ol' cincy.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, Eric, if you think you're nothing special, by all means you're entitled to that opinion, but you don't have to be the most well-known, most intelligent, most popular, and surely best looking guy on campus to still be special. Try to find your groove and stop being so damn depressed, its not helping anyone.
ReplyDelete~ Chris