The Uberfly
Last night was a strange night. I procrastinated my homework till Sunday night/ Monday morning, big suprise. I had to read my chosen English novel, the Poisonwood Bible, by first bell Monday morning. 530 pages, and although I really tried to read some before Sunday night, I only got 65 pages into it. So I layed down at 10:30 to read TPB on my bed, my fan on, my light swiveled into that perfect position. I was laying there, and all of the sudden .......... bzzzzz ......... past my ear. I wondered how a fly got into my room, but whatever- nothing right now is more important to me than TPB. A few minutes later ........... bzzzzz .......... I look up and I see this monster fly the size of a dime buzz past my face, and I swat at it, to no avail. I try my best to ignore it, but it keeps buzzing past my ear. ........... bzzzzzz .......... bzzzzzz ......... I put up with it for as long as I can, because I'm really trying to read here. ........... bzzzzzz .......... That's it, I get up, book in hand (the large bulk of the book insuring any hit would kill my prey) and I watched as the little bugger flies around my room. I slip into a Zen-like state, studying his every move until BAM! There goes my light. Did I get him? ........ bzzzzz ......... No such luck. BAM! BAM! BAM! (at this point, I'm starting to worry I might wake up Brad next door, but I need to take care of this fly to get back to my reading, for crying out loud!) ......... bzzzzzzzz ............ BAM! One final time, and I see the fly laying on my carpet. HA! You like that? Didn't need compound eyes to do that, either! I quietly and triumphantly return to my bed, shuffle around to find my reading groove I was in. I had hardly returned to the book when I looked back at the carpet...........no fly. .......... bzzzzzzz ............ GRRRRR! That little bastard! He played possum! He played dead! A fly, for crying out loud! He tricked me! .............. bzzzzzzzzzz ........... I jump up, BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM smashing half the stuff in my room in a frantic frenzy to kill the demonic fly that has haunted my procrastination efforts- the raven to my Edgar Allen Poe. One last time, BAM, and he's down. I squished him with my shoe untill I was sure his two bisected halves would never again fill the air with their incessant, mocking buzzzzzzz. After that, I returned to my book. I read on and on, deep into the night. Right about 3:30, I started the second to last chapter. I was very tired, my eyes were only awake from sheer willpower (as opposed to Mt. Dew, like the first few hours). The chapter started off with a poem and ::bam:: I was out like a stunned fly, to sleep and dream the rest of the night away...........